The Road to Starbucks

A couple of years ago I made a decision that had an immense impact on my life. I had been in a relationship off and on for more than half a decade and was frustrated and disappointed that I was still unmarried. I began to blame myself and went down a self-loathing spiral. At some point (during an "off" period in the relationship) I figured out that I may be single for a while, and if I was going to be by myself, I should become the kind of person I wanted to spend time with. I went back to school and started working on becoming stronger spiritually, mentally, and physically. I can still remember discussing this mental shift with a friend while at a church Super Bowl party. Little did I realize that the man who would take away my single status was across the room. 

As I began to improve myself, my confidence began to grow, and with that I realized that I didn't have to settle for having my heart get dragged around. It was this confidence that gave me the strength to move on from a poor relationship that I was addicted to. Last October I started dating Andy, the young man from the party. In all honesty, I thought the relationship wouldn't last long and that it was just going to be a fun way to pass some time. Little did I know the love that would grow between us with every obstacle and every victory we encountered together. He has become my very best friend. 

I wrote a few months ago about the Get REAL girls retreat and about how I had spoken on surrendering my idols and dreams of marriage and a big wedding to God and placed it all in His hands. Last night I thought that I was going to Starbucks for a planning meeting for next year's Get REAL retreat. In actuality, my fellow retreat planners (whom I affectionately refer to as POG) were all a part of an elaborate plan by Andy to take me back to the place where we first held hands and ask me to be his wife. He had planned for over a month, getting my father's permission to ask, and keeping constant communication with POG to plan it all. Of course, I said YES!

I wrote all this for the sake of my young friends who find themselves in the spot I was in a few years ago. I believe my meeting Andy was nothing short of Divine Providence. Once I relinquished control of my love life, God brought me the one he made just for me. I had a death grip on my future and it wasn't until I released my clinched fists that He could show me to the man who will hold my hand forever. So while you're waiting on that, work on yourself. Make yourself the kind of person you would want to spend time with. Don't worry about the future. I know it may be frustrating now, but trust me, He will work ALL things together for your good. 

Dirt Is Dirty

While preparing to teach a class on humility my mind was brought to the story of Jesus washing His disciples' feet in John 13. I grew up in a church in which we participated in ceremonial "feet washing" every 3 months. Men would go in one room and women another, then we would pair up and wash each other's feet as we prayed for one another. This was usually done in conjunction with a communion service. We would usually read this account in John and recall that we were doing it in an act of servanthood and because the fifteenth verse states, "'I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.'" But as I prepared to talk about humility, I saw this passage entirely differently than I have before.

The act of washing the disciples' feet was not a ceremony, it was a necessity. They walked for miles in sandals on dirt roads that had been tread by animals and countless people. Whatever they had walked on since their last washing was still there. Their feet were caked and stained with the dirt of wherever they had walked. It was a servant's job to clean their feet before their meal, so imagine the servant's surprise when Jesus doesn't offer to do the cleaning, He simply gets up and gets to work.

He does some very specific things to wash them:

1. He gets up from the table. He leaves the comfort of the table to go where He is needed.

2. He wraps a towel around Him. Why? Because dirt is dirty. He needs to protect Himself from the filth He is about to encounter.

3. He pours the water. He needs the water to wash away the dirt.

4. He lowers Himself. The position necessary to wash someones feet will put the washer in a position that is physically lower than that of the person being washed.

Why does it matter what He does specifically? Because I believe that when He says to follow His example He doesn't simply mean to perform a ritual every once in a while (although I fully believe in this act). I believe that the example He is describing is that of humility.

We all know people who need Jesus. Think of your friends whose sin is on display for the world. They walk around caked with the filth they have walked through. It is easy for someone who has been a Christian for a long time to look at them and judge and say "I see that dirt on you. I know exactly where it came from. I recognize that dirt. I know where you CHOSE to go. Take care of that and then come talk to me." How does that help anything? How does standing over someone criticizing them for their dirt help them get clean? The only way to help is to humble, or lower, ourselves. This is how we follow His example:

1. We have to get up from the table. It's easy to judge while we sit in our nice, clean churches where we are comfortable and safe. But while we are feasting at in our Father's house, people are drowning in their filth on the outside. We have to leave our comfort zone to be of service.

2. We have to guard ourselves. Why? Because, again, dirt is dirty. We need to cover ourselves in prayer and say, "Lord, I'm about to have to get close to some things that aren't of You. I need You to help me not get dragged down."

3. We have to bring the water. Note: We are to BRING the water. WE are NOT the water. WE can't save anyone. All we can do is bring the water that can cleanse them. When we start thinking that we can save people, we've lost the battle between humility and pride.

4. We have to lower ourselves. In the same way that Jesus physically placed the disciples above Himself, we must put the needs of others above our needs for control and keeping up appearance. I already told you that a prideful person looks at dirt on another's feet and says "I know where that came from", but a humble person says, "I know where that dirt came from...because it used to be on my feet too. I CHOSE to go the same places as you, the only difference between me and you is that I got to the water a little quicker." A humble person realizes that in order to make a difference we have to remember what we looked like. I firmly believe that the reason we have to lower ourselves and follow His example is that every once in a while we have to get low enough to remember what we looked like when we were dirty. How can we be anything but humble when we remember that Jesus took the filth in our lives, washed us clean, and allows us to walk without condemnation?

Lord, help us to follow Your example of humility. Help us to remember our dirt, and let us care enough about people that we choose to help them get clean instead of judging them.