A Letter to Me

Dear Lindsey at 16,

As I write this, I am 27 years old and getting married in a month. It occurs to me that there are a few things I want you to know at 16 that would make the next decade a lot easier. First of all, your parents are geniuses! Both of them. Your mom is crazy and talks like Loretta Lynn, but she is the most fun-loving person you will ever meet. She possesses a strength that you couldn't possibly understand. She has been through more than most people would have to face in 10 lifetimes, and still ended up being gracious, loving, and forgiving. Cut her some slack. Your dad constantly gives you speeches, but he is preparing you for your future, so listen. He is one of the best preachers you could ever study under, so pay attention and learn how to deliver a message that can reach any generation, ethnicity, or spiritual need. He is actually quite brilliant. More important than any of that, you will be at home with them longer than you realize. They will never ask you to leave and will always make you feel that you belong, even when the day comes that you have to confess to them that you were less than perfect. On that day, they will offer unfailing love that you couldn't imagine.

Don't be arrogant in your Christian walk. Don't think you could never give into temptation-you will use that thinking as an excuse to put yourself in some really stupid situations. Be on guard. God has placed an anointing in you and the devil will do everything possible to destroy and kill you. Don't give him a foothold.

I'm going to spend the rest of this letter telling you some facts that you don't want to hear, but it is most important, because these are the issues that will have the greatest effect on you.

Do you see the picture at the top of this page? Do you see how happy you are? You are happy because you are holding the man who will be your husband. I'm not letting you see his face because you don't need to know what he looks like. You spend too much time worried about who you will end up with. You will find him when you stop wasting time wondering about him. It will happen when you make the decision that on the chance that you end up alone then you better become someone you want to spend time with. You will find him when you improve yourself, not physically like you are thinking, but mentally and spiritually.

I will let you know this-he is more handsome and kind than you could imagine. He is also saving his virginity for you. He loves and respects you enough to save himself for a woman he hasn't even met yet, so don't disrespect him by giving yourself to someone else. Having to tell him that you didn't respect your future spouse the way he did will be very difficult, so heed the following warnings:

Giving your virginity away before marriage usually doesn't happen suddenly. It happens little by little. A guy won't walk up and say "let's have sex" and you instantly know it's wrong. Sin doesn't work like that. It creeps in, disguised as love and encourages you to give a little at a time. Sin isn't satisfied with part of you. There will come a point when you become convinced that if you give a little of yourself that will satisfy guys. Sin won't be satisfied, your appeasements will only lead to more sin.

A real man will not only respect you, he will force you to respect yourself. He won't encourage you to walk around half naked. He will want you to be the lady God designed you to be. He will want to show you off not for your body, but because you are a strong, intelligent, spiritual woman he can take pride in. This is the kind of man you will marry.

Be pliable in God's hand. Learn His Word. Speak only what He speaks through you. Believe it or not, the day is coming when He will use you to reach a lost generation. Don't be so quick to cut people out. Burnt bridges make it hard to walk the road of ministry. The day will come when you have to track people down and apologize for things you have done in order to allow the Lord to use you, so make your words sweet because you will have to swallow them soon.

You are more beautiful and talented and smarter than you realize. Anyone who tells you otherwise does so because they don't want you to realize that you could have better in life because they are afraid that you will find better.

Your life will get better, I promise. Don't give up hope.

Love,
Lindsey

P.S. Stop going to the tanning bed. You will NEVER be tan. You're Irish, get over it.

Cast Out

Warning: this is one of those blogs that requires I give an introduction explaining why I am writing it. Some of the topics in this blog will seem far-fetched or even made up, but I assure you what I am writing about is very real and should be treated as such. Please read the blog in its entirety before you form an opinion on the matter. Here we go...

A while back I was discussing with my ministry partners why it is that we don't see certain manifestations that we used to. We began discussing a time when it was common place to see people (particularly young people) being delivered from demonic possession. It was not uncommon to see these spirits manifest and then to watch as men and women filled with the Holy Spirit would pray and these people would be delivered. We became disheartened as we discussed the possible reasons for this. Please understand that we are not saying we want people to be possessed so we can deliver them, but we know that the devil is very much at work in the lives of so many. Our concern is not that the demons aren't there, it is that they clearly are but people are coming to church services and events and going home still bound to these spirits. The more I've thought and prayed about this, I've come to the following conclusions:

1. We aren't much of a threat to these spirits. I once heard of an evangelist from Africa, where voodoo and witchcraft make possessions commonplace, tell of the fear the demons had of Holy Spirit filled ministers. He would preach at arenas that had showers in the back to help the minister get ready for service. He said that as he was getting ready, demon possessed men and women would begin screaming "the man of God is taking a shower!" The spirits were so terrified of what was about to happen once he was ready that they literally screamed. Are we, as ministers, that much of a threat to satan that his tormentors would cry out in anguish of us being near? Are we so full of the Spirit that demons can't stay in hiding around us in the way that the possessed girl shouted after Paul and Silas (Acts 16:17)? Do we not still believe Mark 16:17 when it says "these miraculous signs will accompany those who believe: They will cast out demons in my name, and they will speak in new languages." It seems we in the Pentecostal church want to follow through on that last part but not the first. What is the point of being filled with a Spirit that gives us boldness if we allow people to walk around in bondage to satan?

2. We are more scared of satan than he is of us. Not only is the devil not scared of us (as expanded on above), we are scared of him for some ridiculous reason! Those of us who believe these spirits are real spend too much time trying to run from them. I've seen people who claim to be Holy Spirit filled literally walk the other way when they see someone in need of deliverance. It is the equivalent of a firefighter running away from the flames! I remember praying in the past that God would show me aspects of the spiritual realm during the daytime, but at night when I was alone being terrified that He'd actually do it. I've reached a point in my spiritual walk that I am more frightened that the devil leaves me alone because I don't bother him than I am at the idea of seeing him. We have nothing to fear because I John 4:4 is still true, "Greater is He that is in you".

3. Our culture has turned demonic activity into a ghost story. I've never felt the need to tell people what is ok to watch, but I have become personally convicted over spiritually-themed horror films. I don't judge others for watching them because that is between them and God, but these films turn demonic activity into entertainment. There is nothing entertaining or exciting about demons. They are real forces of evil on this earth who cause pain and destruction. They cause men and women to kill or injury themselves or others. To support an industry that turns them into something fun to enjoy seems counter to the Word. Even in reading this, some of you think I'm crazy because you think demons are a made up phenomena used to sell movies and books. I'm an extremely rational and realistic person and I can tell you I have seen demon possessed people in real life, they exist. I have cast out demons in Jesus name of people who were covered in scars from self-mutilation the demons encouraged, and it's not something to joke about. 

Some of you think I'm crazy now, and that's ok, because at least you did as I asked and read this through to the end. I'm just asking you to open your eyes to what is already around you in the world. 

The Gown and the Closet

I am getting married in 40 days! As anyone who has planned a wedding can tell you, at some point the experience turns into a runaway train that you are hanging on to for dear life. But recently I was able to calm my mind just long enough to allow the Lord to show me something I hadn't thought of before. I looked over and saw my wedding gown hanging in my closet. I hadn't given much thought to this sight for the several months it had been there, but suddenly I realized the importance of its location. The very closet where my dress was hanging was the site of many a breakdown in my younger days. I was taken back to the sleepless night when I laid in on that floor, crying my eyes out over love lost and trying to find a way to numb the pain of losing who I thought was "the one".

It was in this moment of clarity that the Lord spoke to my heart Isaiah 61:3 "To all who mourn in Israel, He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory." I realized that those were exactly the things my relationship had become:

1. Ashes: That relationship was filled with ups and downs. Sure there had been good times, but when the flames of passion and pain were finished, all that was left were the ashes of what had seemed like a promising relationship.

2. Mourning: I spent years mourning the death of a relationship that was never alive. What does that mean? It means I grieved over the relationship the same as I would the death of a loved one; it was real, it was palpable, it was unbearable. It was never alive because living things grow. I see now that there was never growth for me, the guy, or our relationship. It wasn't making us grow spiritually or mentally, and it wasn't progressing on to new levels of commitment.

3. Despair: The definition of despair is "to lose all hope". If that doesn't describe spending my nights in a closet then I don't know what does. I thought that because I had poured so much of myself into this person and this relationship (to a point at which I lost myself) that I had no hope of a relationship with anyone. I felt like damaged goods. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would be alone forever.

But God is faithful to His word and He gave me:

1. Beauty: I know you all haven't seen this dress yet, but trust me, it's something gorgeous. It's almost as gorgeous as the man God created for me who will get to see that dress on August 31st when I walk down the aisle to him.

2. Joyous Blessing: I can assure you that there will be nothing but joy on the day I wed the love of my life. I no longer have to mourn because this relationship is alive! How do I know it is alive? Because it makes us grow. Neither of us are the people we were when we met. We encourage each other to be better in every way: spiritually, mentally, physically, and even academically. And even though we have both been hurt before, we have moved forward without fear of commitment to one another.

3. Festive Praise: I am now filled with nothing but hope because I have realized that if God could take those ashes and give me more than I could have asked for, then there is nothing He can't do.

So why did God allow me to go through all that pain to begin with? I believe it is because verse 1 of that passage applies to me: "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound." God, take my brokenness and all the hurt I endured and use it to your glory to help those who are hurting like I was and to live as a testimony of your unfailing love.

How Did My Kid Become a Witch?

A few months ago I had a conversation with a father who was heartbroken when his daughter returned from her (Christian) college to announce that she was a now a witch. I've heard this story more times than you'd think. A young person leaves the Christian home for the first time and ends up in the grips of  the occult. I'm not trying to scare you, but I want you to understand this is a serious threat, even for our "good, young people". So how does something like this happen? I've thought it over and these are my conclusions:

1. They can't defend their beliefs. They've been raised to believe certain things are right and certain things are wrong, but never taught scripture to back it up. The sad truth is that they don't know what they believe, and the even sadder truth is that they WILL meet someone who DOES know their beliefs no matter how heretical they may be. Our youth can't explain why we pray "our Father which art in heaven hollowed be thy name", but they will encounter young men and women who can explain EXACTLY why they worship the earth, or nature, or follow individualism. When they are engaged in a debate regarding their beliefs, our young people will lose even though they carry the truth because they can't express it. When the "good Christian kid" realizes their peer knows what they believe and they don't, they start to question their own beliefs.

2. They haven't had the Word poured into them. When I was in high school in was becoming unheard of to have a Wednesday night service that didn't revolve around a basketball goal, volleyball net, or video games . I've brought this up before and I don't want you to get me wrong. I'm not bashing using these tools as a way to entice young people into the safe space of the church. My problem is that too often that was ALL it was about. You could go to youth service and never hear a scripture other than in a vague reference, and everyone knew we were just killing time until we were able to commence hanging out. We are now at a pivital evaluation point in youth ministry. My generation that grew up with X-Box for a youth pastor are now adults, on their own and they have nothing to show for their years in the church. They don't know the bible, or how to hear the voice of the Lord, and are wondering around aimlessly searching. Again, I'm not saying these tactics are inertly wrong, but if we have a young person in our ministry for 6 years who has strong hand-eye coordination but can't quote a scripture to save their life then it's time to hang up our hoodies and skinny jeans and move on. They move out on their  own or start college and encounter true evil in the world and they freeze because we haven't prepared them for the battle. If we love them, we need to prepare them for the world they are going in to. Preparation means making sure they are full of the Spirit when they leave and know how to  hear Him when He speaks.

3. We gave them a community instead of a family. As described above, the church has done a good job of creating community centers. I think if a church has the resources for an area where kids can have safe fun and the community is made better, they should go for it. Fellowship should be a priority in our churches, but there is a difference between community and family. A community is based on geographic or idealogical closeness, family knows know limits. We are a close community when we see each other, but when our kids go off to college are we still there for them? If we were family the way the bible instructs us, we wouldn't let our kids slip away. We would let them know we care for them and think of them no matter how far they are. What does this have to do with the occult? Followers of these false religions do one thing very well: they make outsiders feel included. How do we prevent that? We create a family around our kids that shows them they are loved, wanted, and never alone.

I know this post may seem random or "out there" to you, but I honestly can't count the number of times this has come up in recent years. Please don't throw these thoughts out of your mind just because this idea seems so foreign to you, because these points apply just as much to young people stumbling into alcoholism, drug abuse, and promiscuity. Let's love our kids enough to accept the realities of the world we are sending them into and prepare them to stand strong.

For Such a Time as This

At every turn I have taken in ministry, I have been plagued by a comment that at one point hurt me very deeply. You see, I have been blessed to be the daughter of a mighty minister of the Gospel. My father worked hard as a pastor and grew every church that was under him. When I was 12 years old he became a presiding bishop in our church, overseeing the Churches of God of Prophecy first in the Northwest territory (comprised of MT, WY, ND, and SD), then in Oklahoma and Arkansas, and finally here in Tennessee. He currently oversees over 120 churches. I am immensely proud of him and the work he has done. However, because of his authority, it has been presumed by some that any chance I have had in ministry, be it via music, teaching, or preaching was given to me because of his title. I have often heard "you only get to _____ because of who your dad is" and they fill in the blank with whatever I am participating in at the time. For many years it hurt my feelings. I often felt like I should give up these activities if I am only being asked to participate because of my last name, but that has changed now.

After I made the announcement via social media that I was pursuing ministry full time, these comments went into overdrive. As I have tried to steady myself in the Lord and His Word, these are the conclusions I have reached on the matter:

1. My father is no one to be ashamed of. I am blessed to have a father who stands up for what is right. He is a man of integrity who stands by what he says. He is a man who was never accused of getting an advantage in ministry, because he had to go out and make his own way. When he was young all he wanted to do was preach but no one gave him a chance, so he found a cheap funeral home, stood on the corner with a guitar singing and held a revival in the funeral parlor! He worked hard to do what God called Him to do and never abandoned the Call.

2. My last name is nothing to be ashamed of. As I said, my dad was never handed anything, but the one advantage he had was that he stood on his parents' shoulders. As I have blogged before, his mother and father sacrificed to obey the will of the Lord. My grandpa would say, "son, some people get paid to preach, and some people pay to preach" and he certainly paid to preach. My grandmother in particular taught my dad the value of knowing the scripture and of living a holy life. The night my father was saved he called and told her he had something to tell her, she said, "no, I have something to tell you. You got saved tonight. I know because I have fasted and prayed for three days." I stand on my father's shoulders, he stood on her shoulders, and she stood on the Word of God. 

3. I believe it is up to me to use every advantage I have to fulfill God's calling on my life. My deepest desire is to fulfill God's will in my life, and that means my deepest desire right now is to preach the Gospel. I've come to a point that I feel that even if I only get opportunities because of my name, I should be grateful for the opportunity. I am blessed to be a part of a church that not only affirms women preachers, it promotes women preachers. That is a fact I am extremely proud of and will not squander any chance I have to get behind a pulpit, podium, music stand, or bull horn I am permitted to use. 

4. I believe that I was placed in this family at this time for a purpose. As I was thinking and praying about these attacks, the Lord brought to my remembrance Esther 4:14 which says, "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” In all the times I have heard the story of Esther preached, I've never heard anyone say "she only got that chance because she was pretty (2:17) and found favor with the king."It didn't matter why she made it into the king's court, it mattered that she was there on a mission from God to save her people. Romans 8:28 tells us "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." God created Esther to be a woman who the king would want in order to fulfill His purpose, likewise God knew who my family would be in order to fulfill the specific purpose He has for me. I am convinced that like Esther, if I remain silent at THIS time, I will perish because it's just this simple- I'm made to preach, if I don't preach I don't think I can go on. And like Esther, I believe that I have come into the Kingdom of God for this time and this generation. 

What it all comes down to is this; attacks to shut up someone speaking the Word of God come from the enemy. It doesn't matter why I get to preach, it only matters that I walk through the doors God has opened, regardless of whose hand He used to open it. 

Amazing Grace

Yesterday morning my pastor told the story of a song writer who had at one time been a slave trader, but following a dramatic conversion became a minister. Before he had finished telling the story I knew he was talking about John Newton, author of Amazing Grace. Then my pastor shared something I hadn't heard before: the word's on Newton's tombstone. They are as follows:

"Clerk, once an infidel and libertine, a servant of slaves in Africa, was, by the rich mercy of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, preserved, restored, pardoned, and appointed to preach the faith he had long labored to destroy."

I don't know about you, but if I had written Amazing Grace, I would have made sure my tombstone read:

"Lindsey B. McKinley. Writer of the greatest hymn of all time. You're welcome."

I was confused about the phrase, "a servant of slaves in Africa". I assumed it was some turn of phrase we don't use today, so I started an investigation into Newton's life and this is what I found:

1. When Newton was in the Royal Navy he tried to desert and was flogged 96 times in front of his shipmates. He was so ashamed by this incident that he contemplated either killing the captain or himself out of shame.

2. Once he left the navy he became a successful slave trader.

3. Onboard one of his ships, his shipmates became so disgruntled with him that they abandoned him in Africa where he became a slave himself before he was rescued by a sea captain.

4. Newton cried out to the God he had renounced while in the midst of a severe storm.

5. He continued to trade slaves after his conversion. In later years he renounced slavery and fought as an abolitionist. He also made it clear that he was not living as a Christian for many years after that fateful night during the storm.

His epitaph reveals a fact that we too often forget-the work we leave behind is of little consequence compared to the work He does in us. Newton was a low-down rotten sinner, but God was merciful to him. God kept him alive through treacherous seas (dangers), slavery (toils), and betrayal by his mates (snares). God was gracious to him even when he continued to do wrong. The Spirit continued to woo Newton and change his heart, until the point that he fought the sinful acts he had once been a part of.

Do we live our lives in the same spirit as Newton's epitaph? Do we live our lives as men and women who owe all we have to a God who never gave up on us? Do we live out our testimonies in a way to show those around us that we have been transformed by our Lord and Savior?

Lord, help us live everyday as a testimony to Your amazing grace!