Judas

Have you ever been hurt by someone to the extent that you can't recall one redeeming quality about that person? Maybe they bullied you. Maybe they undercut big dreams you had in life. Maybe they gossiped about you or the people you love. Maybe they even lied about you behind your back. Perhaps the only thing harder than having someone like this in your life is watching as others in your life maintain friendship with this person. Even worse than that, is having to hear as they rave about this person's goodness when you know what they did.

I've had this happen more times than I can count. Not everyone will like me, I get that. I have a big mouth and the kind of personality that people generally either love or hate. There aren't a lot of in-between opinions of me. I'll even admit that at times, I've been the bully and the gossip. I understand why some people don't want to be my friend. But there is another group of people who seemingly can't stand me that I don't understand. People who set out to destroy me because of my last name, or my career, or the fact that I was the youngest child in my family (that one really didn't make sense).

When you make these kind of enemies, the kind that you feel you had no hand in creating, it can be tempting to "warn" your friends not to associate with them. As you hear people you love and respect find positive traits in your enemy, your mind kicks into overdrive and you think "they must not know the truth. Clearly they are too stupid to see what's right in front of their eyes. I better tell them whose side they should be on." And before you know it, your hands, which may have started off clean are now filthy with the dirt of gossip. These are the reasons this approach is never the solution:

#1 . It is not your job to convince everyone that your enemy is unworthy of their praise. Your job, according to Ephesians 4:29 is to not "...use any foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Not a clear enough job description? Then read on down to verses 31-32, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

#2. The truth will come out whether you speak up or not, but remaining quiet maintains your innocence. If this person is as low-down dirty as you think they are, they won't be able to hide it for long. Let their actions speak, not your mouth. Chances are, if your friends are already supporting this person, then there is likely nothing you can do to convince them of cutting that person off anyway. The only thing your actions will do at this point is change your friend's opinion of you, not your enemy. But what if your friends never see the light? Well, then...

#3. Maybe there was more goodness in your enemy than you realized. Maybe instead of hyper-critiquing  your enemies actions, you should take a magnifying glass to your ability to see the best in others.

I am reminded of the night Jesus washed the feet of the disciples. The bible tells us that Jesus knew who would betray Him. But did He go around convincing the other 11 to cut ties with Judas? No, He served him the same as He did the other disciples. Even in the moment in which the bible says "Satan entered [Judas]" (John 13:27), Jesus simply replied, "Hurry. Do it now." A cryptic message that the bible says the other disciples couldn't decode. Jesus did right by Judas, even knowing he was the betrayer. He allowed Judas to prove his character instead of "outing" him.

This is one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn. I can close my mind and picture my "Judases". I know the name, face, and character of those who have betrayed me. But in the end, I want it to be said of me that in the face of hurt, I maintained clean hands and a pure heart.

Fathers, Be Good to Your Sons, Too

Anyone who knows me very well can tell you my absolute favorite musician is John Mayer. At one point, the word "obsessed" would have been a fair description of my affinity for the crooner from Connecticut. (Please remember, I said he's a great musician and have no desire to engage in a debate regarding his status as a poor role model.) A few years ago, he achieved his first number one hit with his song "Daughters". Here's a small sampling of the lyrics:


"Boys, you can break/You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong/And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone/without the warmth from/woman/s good, good heart

On behalf of every man/Looking out for every girl/You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters/Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers/So mothers, be good to your daughters too"

In an interview I heard him say he wrote the hit because he was "tired of dealing with girls with daddy issues." Obviously, being written by a [womanizing] man, he could only report from his side of the debate. As a woman, I'd like to say that women are equally frustrated with the "daddy issues" that men deal with. John pretty much summed up a large portion of the problem with the first line quoted, "boys, you can break/you'll find out how much they can take".

Most father's I know (not all, I am fully aware) view their daughters as my dad does: they are their princesses. But so often, I see father's trying to break their sons. They talk down to them, degrade them, and try to intimidate them into being a man. Eventually, these boys (allegedly) grow up and turn into the kind of men who label the women in their lives as having "daddy issues" (sorry, John). You see, when you talk down to your son you aren't showing him how to be a man, you are showing him how to be a bully. There are 2 equally horrifying outcomes to this scenario: 1. Your son will follow the model you gave him, demeaning those around him or 2. He will cower as an adult, never being able to fulfill his God-given role as head of his house because you made him feel like less than a man.

Yes, the bible demands that we honor our fathers and mothers, but it also offers very pointed instruction regarding the parent's treatment of their children. Ephesians 6:4 instructs, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord." Colossians 3:21 warns, "Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged."

I implore you, as the Word does, to lead your sons [and daughters] in the ways of the Lord. Speak life into them, not death. Speak blessings on their future family. Stop breaking them down with the distant hope that you will be able to build them back up-you can't. This tactic breaks relationship, destroys families, and in many cases pushes the young man to a point that his only goal is to get away from his father-for good.

Instead of "seeing how much they can take", I suggest this...

Tell your son that you're proud of him. Tell him he is capable of being a great husband and father one day. Find his strengths and shine a light on them. And above all else, tell him you love him, otherwise, the day will come when you want to say it and he will be gone.

Bella's Goats

Let me tell you about Bella, a little girl with a great big heart. Bella is the daughter of my friends, Jason and Saundra Owen. Saundra was once my cabin leader in Oklahoma church camps, and thus deserves a medal, but that's a different blog entirely. Bella turned 9 this week, and for her birthday she had asked for a unique gift: goats. You see, a while back Bella had heard of a church outreach that purchases goats for families in third-word countries. Why goats? Because as the Shepherd's Hill International website explains, "no animal provides more output and diverse material for such a low amount of overhead and space requirements as goats. Healthy female goats can produce two offspring each year. The goat provides milk, manure, and offspring—all of which have residual income sources. Goats are also easily upgraded with simple breeding programs.  A native goat can be purchased for a very modest price and can be bred with a higher grade of goat." You may say, "that's great, but how is it ministry?" When giving the goat, the organization is able to tell the recipient of the love of Jesus that moved on hearts to help them even though they have never met. They use the goats to open doors to start vacation bible schools and bible studies. A pretty awesome return for about $50!

Bella told her family and friends that she didn't want gifts for her birthday because she "didn't need anything else" and asked instead that they contribute to her "goat fund" and add to the $200 she had already collected in her Princess Jasmine and OU football piggy banks. Imagine Bella's heartbreak when, on the eve of her birthday, her house was burglarized! Her first concern was the goat money. She ran to her room to find it too was gone (watch Fox 23's interview with Bella here). Now, I'm having a hard time not thinking ill of the kind of people who steal from a child's piggy bank, but I'll just have to take that up in prayer.

This whole story brought to mind the passage in John 10 in which Jesus proclaims himself "the good shepherd". Verse 9 begins, " 'yes, I'm the gate. Those who come in through me will be saved. Wherever they go, they will find green pastures. The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.'" (John 10:9-10 NLT) The thief (literally in this situation) stole from Bella and intended on killing her dream, but Christ has come to give life and I believe He will use my friends to do just that.

Bella and her family could have taken this chance to ask for donations for themselves, but they didn't-they are still consumed with goats! I'm asking those who can and will to join with me in purchasing goats in Bella's honor because:

1. There is still a real need. One of my favorite things about this story is that in the midst of personal tragedy, the Owen family still knows that no matter how bad things get for us here, we still have it better than most of the rest of the world.

2. I want to be part of showing Bella that while there are bad people in the world, there is goodness too!  I can only imagine how hard it is to sleep at night knowing these kind of people roam the streets, and I want to help her rest knowing not everyone is a "bad guy".

3. I want us to prove Genesis 50:20 to be as true for Bella's family as it was for Joseph, that "...God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people."

Below I have provided information about the "Give a Goat" Program. If you elect to contribute directly to this fund, please mention "Bella Owen" in your contribution.

A second option for donations was created by our Mission Coordinator for the Churches of God of Prophecy in Tennessee, Michelle Brooks-Young. I tagged her in the news story when I first shared it on facebook and she went wild! She began inviting churches to help with this project, encouraging children's churches, Sunday school classes, and congregations to contribute. If you would like, you may send your offerings to the TN State Office at the address below, making sure to mark that it is for Bella's goats, and the office will assure that it is given in her honor to this ministry.

Thank you so much for your help in showing this little girl that God is in control!

COGOP
TN Office of Finance
% Londa Richardson
P O Box 1476
Cleveland, TN 37364-1476

http://www.shepherdshill.org

Give a Goat Press Kit

Trophies, Talents, and Entitlement

Recently, I have read numerous articles about my generation, known as “generation Y” or “millennials”. Pretty much everything I read regarding my peers boils down to one word, “entitlement”. How did we get this attitude? Well I have my own theory that will have half of you cheering and the other half sending me nasty messages, but either way here it goes.

My generation was probably the first to grow up in the “let’s not keep score and just call everyone a winner” world. I’m not necessarily knocking this idea, and I understand the need for reaffirming children regardless of ability, but the problem is that LIFE DOES KEEP SCORE. Suddenly, when we are thrust into adulthood and the workforce, we quickly find that we weren’t prepared to work hard in order to be rewarded. Growing up, whether we scored every goal in the game or just sat on the bench drinking Gatorade, we got a trophy. “Incentive” wasn’t in our vocabulary list and “work” was the dirtiest of all four-lettered words. 

Starting out in ministry has been a unique experience for me. When I finally gave in to the call to preach, I told God that I would be grateful for every opportunity I had to preach the Gospel. I even told Him I’d preach/teach/sing/stand on my head anywhere the chance presented itself. And I have held true to that word. I’ve been blessed to preach to some smaller crowds, and equally blessed to preach to some bigger ones. I’ve been thrilled to speak on Sunday mornings, Wednesday nights, and Saturdays. I’ve been ecstatic to address full congregations, youth groups, and ladies events. The point is, I love every chance I get to talk about Jesus, whether it is to 1 person or 1,000, regardless of age, social status, or need. 

I was recently disheartened to hear of someone being surprised that I was going to address what they deemed a small congregation. They were shocked and asked if I knew how “small” they were when I accepted the invite. I’m still confused as to why they expected me to reject any invitation. After all, even if I hadn’t made my vow to God to walk through every door, I am still a new minister and am “paying my dues” (although I have enjoyed every step of those dues). 

As I look around at some of my fellow young ministers I realized why that was asked. This entitlement attitude has permeated into ministry! In the same way millennials expect to be CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies when they graduate, young ministers expect to be handed the keys to 300 member churches as their first pastorate. IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY! 

Jesus confronted the entitlement issue in Matthew 25 when He told the story of the master who entrusted each of his servants with bags of talents or money.  The master gave 1 servant 5 bags, 1 servant 2 bags, and the last servant only 1 bag. The first 2 servants invested their money and brought back double to the master. The last servant dug a hole and buried his share. He told the first 2 servants that because they had been “faithful in handling the small amount” he would “give [them] many more responsibilities.” But because the last servant had been so foolish with his talents, the master took them away and gave them to the first servant. 

Our culture has taught us that we are entitled to certain things without having to put in the work. But the Lord taught us that in order to be trusted with much; we must be trustworthy with little. He can’t trust you to shepherd 300 sheep if you haven’t proven that you can handle 3 first. He can’t trust me to effectively present the Gospel to a 1,000 people from a stage until I have done it with 1 person on the floor. Lord, forgive us for allowing this worldly attitude to permeate the church. Help us remember that we must prove ourselves trustworthy with little before you can trust us with much.

Why I Washed My Husband's Feet

The above photo from my wedding has a lot of people confused. Posted to my facebook page by a wedding attendee, I was met with the questions like "did he wash yours too" and commentary on how people were surprised to see me on the floor like that. When I first announced my intentions to include feet washing as a part of my wedding, people closest to me tried to be supportive, but it did not go unnoticed their looks of concern or even horror at the thought of including this act in my wedding. My mother, as purchaser of my beautiful gown, suggested that I wash his feet while seated in my chair, so as not to have my rather expensive dress lying all over the floor. I gave her suggestion thought, and up until that moment in the wedding I had not fully committed to the idea of assuming that lowly (and possibly dirty) position.

Those who have heard me preach in the last year possibly know why this act was so important to me. I have been stuck on the 13th chapter of John in which Jesus washed the feet of the disciples. Jesus assumed the physical position in which He was lower than they were, washed them, and then implored us to "follow this example". As I planned my wedding and considered washing one another's feet (yes, he washed mine first), I saw this as symbolic in two important ways. Lowering ourselves for one another was an outward showing of our intentions to follow Ephesians 5:21-26 (a passage I have referenced before on this blog) when it says, "...you will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of His body, the church; He gave His life to be her Savior. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything. And you husband must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up His life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's Word." (NLT) We were submitting to one another out of reverence to God, "preferring one another" as it says to in Romans 12:10. Secondly, as the water washed our feet, it was symbolic of a fresh start. It was our desire to be new creatures in our marriage, not bringing into it any of the old man and woman we were before we even met. We were choosing not to bring into this life the sins of our pasts. To us, it is as if those things had never happened.

As the musician began to sing "Your Presence is Heaven to Me" and we took communion, my mood switched. As I heard the lyrics "Treasure of my heart and of my soul/In my weakness you are merciful/Redeemer of my past and present wrongs/Holder of my future days to come."  The nerves that had kept me up for weeks gave way to the realization that this moment was a testament to the sovereignty of God. This was a moment of decision to submit fully to the will and Word of God. In this time of worship, I felt that to remain in my seat as had been suggested and halfway wash Andy's feet was no longer an option in the presence of the sovereign God. If my God knew enough to bring me to this place in spite of my many sins and errors, I needed to trust that full submission and servanthood that He calls for is what is best in my life.

At this point, the Presence of God had overtaken the sanctuary. I began weeping openly and could no longer remain still. I stood up, raised my hands, and began to worship the God who knew better than I did all along. I don't know what anybody else in that church was feeling or doing, because I became utterly enthralled in the goodness of God. To some I may have looked foolish, and that's okay, because as one of my favorite songs says, "they don't know the cost of my praise". Unless you know the heartache that preceded August 31, 2013, you don't understand how worthy of praise He is in my life.

Since the wedding, I have actively sought out new ways to show servanthood to my husband, and he has done likewise. It is my prayer that we never forget the vows we made not only to each other, but unto God, to submit to Him first and one another next.

In God We Trust?

Today is the 12th anniversary of the September 11th attacks on the United States of America. As is the case on this date every year, the talk in America turns to where we were that dreaded day. I was in my high school choir class during the attacks, but my teacher refused to turn on the television. I didn't know about the attacks until I reached my second period keyboarding class. I remember putting my head down on my keyboard as I heard cries and screams coming from the radio, at first thinking it was a prank and then realizing we were under attack.

What I remember more than where I was, is where my country was emotionally and spiritually. Most Americans couldn't even speak we were in such shock. We felt vulnerable and truly frightened for the first time in decades. I watched a surge in national pride, as we rallied together vowing to remain true to the red, white, and blue and "not let the terrorists win." Our then President called on us to help one another and to find solace in our houses of worship-and we did. Americans returned to their churches, cathedrals, and synagogues in droves. Every where you went you heard "God Bless America" and were reminded of our motto, "In God We Trust." Many of my evangelical brothers and sisters held hope high that this would be the "wake up call" our nation needed. We thought maybe this would be the thing that caused our nation to repent of our wicked ways and turn back to God.

We were wrong.

That moment was fleeting. Maybe it was the fatigue of war, or recession, or reignited racial tensions, but our moment of trusting God and turning toward His face seems to have passed. The unity of those days after 9-11 has been replaced with a society that is "us" verses "them" in every way possible. We are a nation of division by: politics, economic status, race, and especially religion. The prayers that went up on 9-12  in courthouses and schools are being banned, our motto that was so hailed on 9-13 is constantly threatened, and the phrase "one nation under God" in the pledge we were so proud of on 9-14 is now considered "religious intolerance".

My fear is that the events of the early 21st century in America was allowed by God to get our attention as a nation, and now that we have squandered it, what will become of us? We have become the modern day Sodom-consumed with our lust for the things of this world and wickedness in the face of God. Not only have we lost our trust in God, we have lost our fear of Him. Everywhere we turn-even in the church- the new catch phrase is "only God can judge me!" Hebrews 10:31 tells us, "It is a terrible thing to fall in the hands of the living God." So even this wish that "only God will judge me" shows our lack of 1. knowledge of scripture and 2. good sense to know that you shouldn't wish the wrath of the all-powerful God on you!

All around us, this very day, bible prophecy is being fulfilled. And yet, in the face of men, women, and children dying at the hand of pestilence, famine, and chemical warfare, our biggest concern is the antics of fame-hungry teenagers stripping down on tv. Jesus's very words in Matthew 24:6-13 are coming to fruition, " 'And wars will break out near and far, but don't panic. Yes, these things must come, but the end won't follow immediately. The nations and kingdoms will proclaim war against each other, there will be famines and earthquakes in many part of the world. But all this will only be the beginning of the horrors to come. Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because of your allegiance to me. And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. And many false prophets will appear and will lead many people astray. Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. But those who endure to the end will be saved."

Things are going to get much worse before they get better. We have got to return our trust to God and to God alone.

Eric

This weekend my husband (still crazy to say) and I returned from our honeymoon in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. Above is a photo I took of the sunset from our resort's beach. Jamaica is filled with natural beauties, like the soft beaches, blue-turqouise water, lush forest, and breath-taking mountains. But there is another side of Jamaica that they don't put on the postcards. We had been told of the poverty there, but until we saw it for ourselves we couldn't grasp the magnitude of life there. Outside the gates of our 5-star resort, men, women, and children were living in shacks without windows or even doors in some cases. Everywhere you went you were begged to buy goods they sold for their livelihoods and considering that gasoline is the American equivalent of around $6 a gallon, they have to sell a lot of trinkets if they plan to get anywhere. Their money is literally not worth the paper it's printed on (it takes about $100 Jamaican to equal an American $1). Our first taxi driver kept telling us how their economy is in ruins and how desperate the Jamaican people are. 

On Wednesday, we took a second taxi ride, this time to visit the birthplace and massoleum of Reaggae legend, Bob Marley. Andy has been a long time fan, so I thought it wouldn't be right to leave Jamaica without paying tribute to its favorite son. As we drove through town, just the three of us, our driver, Eric, began to ask us about our stay and where we were from. Upon finding out we were from Tennessee, he did what all the Jamaicans had done to us and started asking about Elvis. About 10 minutes into the drive he started preparing us for what we would find at the end of our journey. 

As a rastafarian, Bob Marley believed in smoking marijuana as a means of mediation. His name is somewhat  synonimous with "herb". Because of this connection, drugs were readily available at the tourist attraction although they are illegal in Jamaica. Eric told us that if we weren't regular partakers, then we should be prepared to be overwhelmed by the smoke. Andy told him that using drugs is against our religion. Eric got excited and then the conversation went like this:

Eric: "Are you Christian?"

Andy: "Yes."

Eric: (very excited) "Are you born again?"

Andy: "Yes."

Eric: (ecstatic) "Are you Holy Ghost filled?"

Andy: "Yes."

Eric: (about to jump out of his seat) "Well Praise God, so am I!!!"

Eric spent the next hour and a half ride telling us about the goodness of the Lord. He told us of how he had been a crack cocaine addict as a young man but God delivered him! I chuckled as every time I would start a scripture, he would finish it. I was confused because he knew so much scripture but had the zeal of a very young Christian so I asked how long he had been born again. It had been over 20 years. Suddenly, Andy and I both felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Here was Eric, a taxi driver surrounded by poverty, but still so on fire for God, proclaiming to us that "the joy of the Lord" was His strength. We couldn't help but compare him to ourselves and the other Christians in our own country who so often seem weighed down by the world (even though we have it pretty great here). 

I told Eric that in the States, you don't encounter many Christians who were as excited about their walk with Christ. He said, "For every square mile in Jamaica you will find 1 church...and 4 bars. Here, if you ask 100 people if they are Christian, they will all say 'yes', but ask if they are born again and they don't know what you are talking about." It made me wonder if I was wrong in my immediate comment that Christians aren't excited, because if we were truly Christians in the sense that we were born-again, could we help but  be excited? If we truly recognized that we have been given a second (or third or fourth) chance, would we be able to contain our joy? 

Eric reminded us that day that there is a huge difference between claiming Christ as your religion and claiming Him as your Savior. He reminded us that no matter the struggles we face, He has already been so good to us and we must never cease to praise Him.