A couple times a week I see articles exploring what is deemed the "mass exodus" of young people from their churches. Depending on the day and the blog, one could assign blame to any number of reasons for why our kids leave youth group and subsequently leave their denomination or even the Christian faith. Some blame it on lack of relevancy. Some blame it on over emphasis on relevancy. Some say it's the fault of contemporary worship, while others say it's because we abandoned the truth found in hymns. Writers state that our vacant pews point to churches that are either too hard on sin or so accepting that they can't offer real change in the lives of those who need it. The fault is placed on everyone in the church from the pastor to the greeter who didn't know how to "relevantly" greet young people-because God knows you can't stay in a church with people who don't think or act like you!
I grew up knowing nothing but to be in church when the doors were open. Rain, snow, or smallpox, we were expected to be there. If you were sick, your mama put a blanket under the pew for you to sleep on until your were drug up to the front for the ministers to lay their hands on you and pray.
As I grew up, I went through periods in which I wasn't all that excited about church. Sometimes I went to churches where I didn't like the music or the preaching style or (if I'm being extremely honest) the members. I've seen hypocrisy. I've heard church people lie and gossip. There have been times when the leaders I respected let me down.
After all I have seen and heard, it would be easy to be cynical, to harden my heart, and turn away from my church. But nearly three decades after being dedicated in the Church of God of Prophecy, I'm still there whenever the doors open. Not only is this still my church, this is the body that has entrusted me with a minister's license. And a big reason I'm raising my child in this church is a quilt...
My grandmother, "nanny" McKinley made quilts. She started my quilt when I was around 3 years old. She was able to complete the top portion of my blanket before she fell into a coma. After she slumbered for a year, she went home to heaven to be with my grandpa.
Our local church had what was called a "Dorcas Club" in which the women would quilt and sew. When one of these ladies found out that I was the owner of an unfinished quilt, they went to work to give me what my nanny couldn't. What probably seems minor to anyone else, is the most tangible proof I have of the existence of the family of God.
You see, those women didn't just fill the void of the missing quilter in my life, they worked hard to ease the pain of losing my grandma. Along with my mamaw Weakley (our state bishop's wife who became my "adoptive" grandmother), many of these ladies stepped in to make sure I got the love, hugs, kisses, and birthday cards I may have gone without otherwise.
In all of these blogs and viral videos about what's wrong with the church I hear what the writer thinks the church should be. But our opinions don't matter. What matters is what the bible calls us to be. We are meant to be a family.
Ephesians 2:19-22 says it this way, "So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s FAMILY. Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus Himself. We are carefully JOINED TOGETHER in Him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. Through Him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit."
The church isn't about the music or the lights. It isn't about being relevant as we see it. It's about being a family. That quilt, or better yet, what it represents is why I am part of my church and why my church is part of me. That quilt is the reason I want to bring Kai up in my church. I want my son to understand what the family of God is all about. I want him to feel the love of God covering him, the same way I feel the love of the family of God when I am covered in this blanket.
I am a part of my fellowship because it is my turn to be the quilter for the next generation. It is my turn to be a mom, aunt, sister, and daughter to someone who needs one. That's the problem with many of the explanations I read trying to justify young people leaving their churches: they haven't figured out that the church is about the collective, not the singular. We are a family. Do family members always get along or agree? No. But real families ALWAYS look out for one another. Real families function because the individuals in the family don't put their desires first, instead they love one another enough to meet the needs of their brothers and sisters.
God doesn't call us to relevant. He calls us to be a family, which in turn will always be relevant.
This quilt is solid proof that my church is a family.
This quilt is proof that my church tries to be what God called us to be.
This quilt is why I love my church.
very powerful words
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