A couple of years ago I made a decision that had an immense impact on my life. I had been in a relationship off and on for more than half a decade and was frustrated and disappointed that I was still unmarried. I began to blame myself and went down a self-loathing spiral. At some point (during an "off" period in the relationship) I figured out that I may be single for a while, and if I was going to be by myself, I should become the kind of person I wanted to spend time with. I went back to school and started working on becoming stronger spiritually, mentally, and physically. I can still remember discussing this mental shift with a friend while at a church Super Bowl party. Little did I realize that the man who would take away my single status was across the room.
As I began to improve myself, my confidence began to grow, and with that I realized that I didn't have to settle for having my heart get dragged around. It was this confidence that gave me the strength to move on from a poor relationship that I was addicted to. Last October I started dating Andy, the young man from the party. In all honesty, I thought the relationship wouldn't last long and that it was just going to be a fun way to pass some time. Little did I know the love that would grow between us with every obstacle and every victory we encountered together. He has become my very best friend.
I wrote a few months ago about the Get REAL girls retreat and about how I had spoken on surrendering my idols and dreams of marriage and a big wedding to God and placed it all in His hands. Last night I thought that I was going to Starbucks for a planning meeting for next year's Get REAL retreat. In actuality, my fellow retreat planners (whom I affectionately refer to as POG) were all a part of an elaborate plan by Andy to take me back to the place where we first held hands and ask me to be his wife. He had planned for over a month, getting my father's permission to ask, and keeping constant communication with POG to plan it all. Of course, I said YES!
I wrote all this for the sake of my young friends who find themselves in the spot I was in a few years ago. I believe my meeting Andy was nothing short of Divine Providence. Once I relinquished control of my love life, God brought me the one he made just for me. I had a death grip on my future and it wasn't until I released my clinched fists that He could show me to the man who will hold my hand forever. So while you're waiting on that, work on yourself. Make yourself the kind of person you would want to spend time with. Don't worry about the future. I know it may be frustrating now, but trust me, He will work ALL things together for your good.
While preparing to teach a class on humility my mind was brought to the story of Jesus washing His disciples' feet in John 13. I grew up in a church in which we participated in ceremonial "feet washing" every 3 months. Men would go in one room and women another, then we would pair up and wash each other's feet as we prayed for one another. This was usually done in conjunction with a communion service. We would usually read this account in John and recall that we were doing it in an act of servanthood and because the fifteenth verse states, "'I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.'" But as I prepared to talk about humility, I saw this passage entirely differently than I have before.
The act of washing the disciples' feet was not a ceremony, it was a necessity. They walked for miles in sandals on dirt roads that had been tread by animals and countless people. Whatever they had walked on since their last washing was still there. Their feet were caked and stained with the dirt of wherever they had walked. It was a servant's job to clean their feet before their meal, so imagine the servant's surprise when Jesus doesn't offer to do the cleaning, He simply gets up and gets to work.
He does some very specific things to wash them:
1. He gets up from the table. He leaves the comfort of the table to go where He is needed.
2. He wraps a towel around Him. Why? Because dirt is dirty. He needs to protect Himself from the filth He is about to encounter.
3. He pours the water. He needs the water to wash away the dirt.
4. He lowers Himself. The position necessary to wash someones feet will put the washer in a position that is physically lower than that of the person being washed.
Why does it matter what He does specifically? Because I believe that when He says to follow His example He doesn't simply mean to perform a ritual every once in a while (although I fully believe in this act). I believe that the example He is describing is that of humility.
We all know people who need Jesus. Think of your friends whose sin is on display for the world. They walk around caked with the filth they have walked through. It is easy for someone who has been a Christian for a long time to look at them and judge and say "I see that dirt on you. I know exactly where it came from. I recognize that dirt. I know where you CHOSE to go. Take care of that and then come talk to me." How does that help anything? How does standing over someone criticizing them for their dirt help them get clean? The only way to help is to humble, or lower, ourselves. This is how we follow His example:
1. We have to get up from the table. It's easy to judge while we sit in our nice, clean churches where we are comfortable and safe. But while we are feasting at in our Father's house, people are drowning in their filth on the outside. We have to leave our comfort zone to be of service.
2. We have to guard ourselves. Why? Because, again, dirt is dirty. We need to cover ourselves in prayer and say, "Lord, I'm about to have to get close to some things that aren't of You. I need You to help me not get dragged down."
3. We have to bring the water. Note: We are to BRING the water. WE are NOT the water. WE can't save anyone. All we can do is bring the water that can cleanse them. When we start thinking that we can save people, we've lost the battle between humility and pride.
4. We have to lower ourselves. In the same way that Jesus physically placed the disciples above Himself, we must put the needs of others above our needs for control and keeping up appearance. I already told you that a prideful person looks at dirt on another's feet and says "I know where that came from", but a humble person says, "I know where that dirt came from...because it used to be on my feet too. I CHOSE to go the same places as you, the only difference between me and you is that I got to the water a little quicker." A humble person realizes that in order to make a difference we have to remember what we looked like. I firmly believe that the reason we have to lower ourselves and follow His example is that every once in a while we have to get low enough to remember what we looked like when we were dirty. How can we be anything but humble when we remember that Jesus took the filth in our lives, washed us clean, and allows us to walk without condemnation?
Lord, help us to follow Your example of humility. Help us to remember our dirt, and let us care enough about people that we choose to help them get clean instead of judging them.
A few years ago I took a trip from Nashville to Atlanta. I had my heart set on eating at a certain restaurant in town when I arrived, so I didn't eat all day long. By the time I got there I was starving...and the restaurant was closed. So we drove around looking for somewhere else to eat and found one lonely restaurant still open. When we got our food, we couldn't even recognize what we were ingesting, but I was so hungry I didn't even care. I had starved myself to the point that I was willing to accept anything and call it "food".
My mind wondered back to this tale last week as I discussed with a friend the desire of the church to hear a Word from the Lord. I know this seems like an odd leap, but stick with me. I have noticed in many Spirit-filled churches there is incredible emphasis on "hearing from the Lord", but little focus on the importance of discernment. We sing about hearing from God, we preach about hearing from God, we teach about hearing from God, but rarely does anyone explain the importance of knowing whether or not the word truly comes from Him. We blindly accept any word from the pulpit as being Spirit-inspired. In churches that still encourage message and interpretation in tongues, congregations are willing to accept interpretations without taking a moment to try the word in their spirits.
So, I started wondering if much like the way I starved myself to a point that I took something that was unrecognizable and called it "food" if we starve ourselves so much that we will call anything God's Word. Could the problem be that we have denied ourselves His true word, so we will take whatever we get? If we were as desperate for His words as we claim, why aren't our noses constantly in the Word He already gave us? If we want to hear Him, we aren't we spending every day conversing with Him in prayer? If we want to experience His Presence, then why aren't we living daily in it?
It's time to let our desperation for Him to become a desire to know Him for ourselves. We can't depend on anyone else to tell us what He has to say, we have to know His Voice for ourselves. Lord, give me discernment!
In the midst of the gay marriage debate and the Chick-Fil-a uproar I have been in absolute shock over the responses of my Christian friends in social media. I see many of my friends saying things like "it's not our job to say what sin is" and "as a Christian, I believe in love. It's none of my business what people do." Then I see rebuttals spewing absolute hatred towards the gay community. I'll even admit, I have fallen into the trap as well. As I watch this disaster unfold I have to think that surely Satan is thrilled at what is going on. I don't think he is nearly as energized by the fact that homosexuality is gaining acceptance as he is by the fact that Christians are turning on each other. It is out of my desire to build a bridge between my friends that I write this blog.
The earliest memories I have of homosexuality in pop culture was when Ellen Degenerous "came out" in 1997. As an 11 year-old I remember far less her announcement than I do the reaction by the Christian community. At the forefront of the battle was Jerry Falwell, famously calling her "Ellen Degenerate". There were calls for boycotts of ABC and Ellen show sponsors. I wonder how many of my peers can remember this and the harshness Christians spoke against her and other homosexuals. Could these memories be shaping our view of the matter of same-sex marriage and the church now? What about the young people growing up in the world of Westboro Baptist protest? What happens to the theology of children and teenagers who are raised being told that God loves us all, but then seeing self-professed Christians holding signs that say "God Hates Fags"? (By the way, the Westboro theology is discredited with Romans 5:8)
I am a part of a generation that is acutely aware of the fact that speaking out against sin will throw us in the bin with the Falwells and the Westboro Baptists of the world. I have in one week been called both a "homophobe" and a "pro-gay anti-marriage supporter" due to beliefs I have expressed online. We live in a world that moves too fast to analyze, so we have to be thrown in a group. We know that as soon as we affirm that we believe the act of homosexuality is wrong that we will be called homophobic, evil, judgement people who are full of hate. So, many of my friends take the path of least resistance. They don't want to be seen as unloving, so they chose rather to use faulty theology and neglect scripture. It is a sad quandary they feel they are in.
Then we have those who speak out against sin whenever, wherever, and however they have to in order to get their point across. Let me say clearly, I believe in calling a sin a sin. I believe that the act of homosexuality is a sin, just as lying, gossiping, and stealing are sins. I believe that unforgiven sin takes one to a very real place called hell. I will tell the truth about what the bible says sin is because I don't want anyone to go to hell, because I believe it is more awful than we can imagine. This is my problem with the harshness with which some of my friends speak about this particular sin. If we really love everyone, as we are supposed to, and if we really think hell is as terrible as the bible says, shouldn't we be heartbroken at the idea that anyone would be headed there? Shouldn't we frame our arguments against homosexual lifestyles in the light of the fact that we have love for these men and women as we do all of mankind?
Chances are that if you have read this entry to this point that you have disagreed with at least one of my points, and that's okay. I'm not looking for total agreement on this, I'm looking of civility. I'm looking for Christians to show the world that we have love, and how will anyone believe that we have love for them when we don't even show love and understanding to each other? Remember in all this debate, we are to have love one for another regardless of how we feel the Gospel is to go forth. Don't allow the devil a victory because of us.
"'do not give the devil a foothold'...Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."-Eph 4:27,29-30 NIV
I have been extremely disturbed in the past few months by comments coming from young people who say they are called into ministry. There seems to be a severe lack of respect for senior ministers in the church. Often I hear comments that "it's time for the old people get out of the way,"or "they need to sit down so young people can take their place". As a young minister I know I should say the same thing, but here is my question: how can they mentor us if we throw them aside? To say that we don't need them or that they have nothing left to offer is prideful and ignorant. We need to hear of their experience and watch them closely in order to learn how to persevere.
As I have been thinking about these comments that seem to flow with great regularity these days, my mind was drawn to the story of Elijah and Elisha. The Lord told Elijah to anoint Elisha as his successor. He found Elisha working the land . "Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him. Elisha left his oxen and ran after Elijah. 'Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye,' he said, 'and then I will come with you.' 'Go back,' Elijah replied." (I Kings 9:19-20 NIV) Elisha went back, but he killed the oxen and burned his plowing equipment, leaving nothing for him to go back to. "Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his servant." (I Kings 9:21 NIV)
Little is said about Elisha until II Kings chapter 2, when Elijah is taken up to heaven. Three separate times in this passage Elijah tells Elisha to stay back, as he takes the journey he sent him on, and three separate times Elisha responded "as surely as the Lord lives and as you live, I will not leave you." (II Kings 2:2, 4,6) In two of the towns they came to prophets said to Elisha, "'Do you know that the Lord is going to take your master from you today?' 'Yes, I know,' Elisha replied, 'so be quiet.'" It was after these exchanges that Elijah asked Elisha what he wanted from him. Elijah said he would only be granted his request of gaining a double portion of his spirit if he saw the Lord take Elijah up.
Several things about this story jump out at me. First, when Elijah threw his cloak on Elisha, Elisha could have stayed where he was. Elisha could have merely waited for Elijah to go to heaven, knowing that he was appointed to take his place. Instead, he became Elijah's servant, following him closely wherever he went, learning from his every move. Instead of waiting for an open position to be prophet, he spent his time learning from the man he respected. Second, he refused to leave Elijah's side. Too often in the church we see young people so eager to earn their place in leadership, that they will abandon the leaders they should be learning from. They use every outlet at their disposal to cut these men and women down and criticize their judgement, instead of having their back. Elisha stood by Elijah even when the journey was rough. Lastly, Elisha didn't entertain conversation from outsiders regarding Elijah. When they began gossiping about Elijah's future, his response was "be quiet". When we as young ministers hear negative commentary about our leaders; whether they be on a local, state, or international level we should be the one to end the conversation, not indulge it.
Because Elisha had done all this, his request for a double portion was granted. If we want the double portion, we have to put in the work on the front end. If we want successful ministries, we have to learn from those who have already been there. Instead of spending our time getting one another worked up about how things aren't fair and leaders are "out of touch", let's use this time while we wait to learn and grow, and become men and women who are worthy of the calling God has placed in us.
Last week I was recovering from having my wisdom teeth removed. In the days that followed I didn't feel like doing much but lying in bed, which meant I spent much more time watching television than I usually have time for. I came across a program on which two celebrities were discussing spirituality. They began to discuss how young people in today's culture avoid spiritual conversations because they hate organized religion.
The very next day I read a report in USA Today about how 1 in 5 Americans no longer have a religious affiliation. The report said that partially to blame was the distaste for organized religion among young people.
As I sat thinking about these things, and thinking about how I feel about organized religion, my eyes were drawn to a small postcard on my desk. It was from my pastor and his wife, Windell and Myrna Moore, letting me know that they were thinking of me following my procedure. This card matches the one that was given to me and my boyfriend after our first visit, telling us how special their day was made by us being there. And I realized, that this "organized religion" young people love to hate, is meant to be exactly what they need.
Everyone, but the young especially, are looking to belong. They are looking for a family. Every time I go to my church, I am greeted by hugs and pats on the back and hand shakes. We are invited to participate as we would like, but never forced. We carry each others' burdens, and rejoice with one another in the good times. I realize that not everyone who has been exposed to church has gotten this treatment, but why haven't they? For the cost of a postcard, a stamp, and a few minutes to write, I was made to feel a part of something.
This weekend I will be traveling to Louisville, KY for my church's General Assembly, a time when delegates from around the world gather together and worship. I will be surrounded by thousands, many of whom can't even speak my language, but we will treat each other like family. How blessed I am to be a part of such an organization. THIS is the type of organized religion I want the world to see.
I have to be honest with you all, there is a struggle that I find myself continually confronted with. I put this in the category of "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." This thing that has had such control over me is what I call "girl porn". It isn't pornography in the way that you would likely define it, but for millions of girls in their teens and twenties it is a serious problem. It is a major part of television programs (even the ones on during daytime programming) and all over magazine stands. The Internet is covered with it and social site Pinterest is a gateway for many.
Are you worried yet for these girls stumbling so easily into whatever this "girl porn" is? I'm about to describe it to you, so please don't be upset for the graphic nature of this.
It's wedding planning material.
Shocking, I know. And I know that to you tagging this material with the term "pornography" seems harsh, but for a lot of us, that is what it equates to. One definition of the word is "the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction." if that doesn't describe the relationship between aisle-bound girls and a picture of a Monique Lhuillier dress, I don't know what does.
My addiction began when I was in a relationship that I was sure was going to end in marriage. I convinced myself that I needed to have my preparations made BEFORE he proposed so I'd be ready. Whether that decision was made to save time during my pending engagement or whether it was merely a slightly more adult version of playing make believe, it became an extremely unhealthy habit. I was consumed with planning a wedding that wasn't even coming. Over the next 5 years I accumulated over 30 magazines and had spent hundreds of dollars and countless hours organizing. And in the end I was able to use all of that on my wedding and it was worth it. Oh wait, that's right, my perfect relationship ended and I never got married. And in the end those magazines were just a reminder of the hopes and dreams that fell apart.
This past summer as I was preparing to talk at an all-girls retreat about my struggles with placing so much value on this, I saw the stack of magazines and it hit me, it was more than a habit or addiction, it was an idol. The Spirit directed me to Acts17:16-34.In this passage Paul had been in Athens and noticed the idols they worshipped. He begins a conversation with philosophers there and comments that one of the idols has an inscription reading, "to an Unknown god". I was in some manner worshipping an unknown god. I knew nothing of marriage, I just wanted a nice dress. I placed my heart and time and money at the feet of piece of fabric. And that resulted in jealousy, bitterness, and anger when it didn't work out.
So how did it all turn out? I repented to the Lord for the fact that I worshipped an event instead of worshipping the One who created love, and relationship, and even marriage.
I presented my findings to the girls retreat, and found that many of them were facing the same struggle, and the honesty we shared with each other opened new doors of ministry. I passed on my wedding box to a young girl at the retreat who was recently engaged (pictured above), and inside of each magazine (yes, all thirty-something of them) I wrote Acts 17:28, "For in Him we live and move and exist" as a reminder that only He (with a capital H) can give us life; not a boyfriend, fiancé, husband, child, or career. I'm still unmarried, and while I can't say that I never struggle with those old emotions, I can say that they no longer rule my life.
I share this embarrassing chapter of my life in the hopes that it will open the eyes of some of my young friends. There is nothing wrong with having hopes in the future, but let us not be consumed with thoughts of tomorrow, for it will take care of itself. Let us spend our time becoming the young women God would have us to be right now, instead of worrying about what will happen in the years to come.
In honor of Father's Day, I wanted to share a few lessons I have learned from my father. It does not escape me how blessed I am to call him my dad. I often hear young ministers call him a spiritual father and look to him for guidance. Although I tease him about this, they couldn't make a better selection. So here we go:
1. Obedience to God takes priority.
My father is a very well-educated man.After pulling himself up by his bootstraps, he earned two doctorate degrees. With his degrees and his incredible people and leadership skills, many opportunities have come his way for lucrative careers, but he held steadfast to the calling God placed on him. Even though these opportunities could have created incredible financial security for his family, he knew that leaving a legacy of faithfulness for his children is much more valuable than any bank account. When it came time to take appointments in places we may not have chosen for ourselves, he made it clear to the family that you go where God sends you, and stay until He releases you.
2. The importance of roots and wings.
My father never misses an opportunity for a history lesson. He loves to tell us about American, family, and church history. He does so to give us an appreciation for what our forefathers did to get us here. When I was inclined to mock those who came before me, I was reminded not to "kick my cradle". He wanted my brother and I to be thankful for trailblazers, but to begin to make our own paths as well. We were to build on what had been accomplished before, thankful for their work, but not satisfied in what they accomplished.
3. Give to those who can give you nothing in return.
I was taught the importance of helping people who can't help themselves. When you seek out those people, you don't expect anything in return. Ours must be a selfless Gospel. It must never be self-serving, lest we destroy our reputation as a follower of Christ. My father has always upheld a high standard in order to make sure there is no appearance of wrong-doing. He never spent time seeking out people with the most money, or influence, or best name, instead he loves everyone the Lord brings him in contact with regardless of what the payout may be.
I am so proud to have been raised by a man of such high integrity. He works hard, never makes excuses, and has a heart for lost people like I have never seen. I love him so dearly. Thank you, pappy for all you have taught me.
Have you ever seen an apple tree with a few oranges on it? Yeah, neither have I. An apple tree automatically produces apples. It does not have to try to produce apples, it just happens. You will never see a naturally growing apple tree growing oranges, or lemons, or pears. Nor can an orange tree chose to produce an apple if it likes. So now you are wondering if I have gone crazy and you are witnessing my decent into madness, but hear me out. Our churches are filled with self-proclaimed apple trees that grow oranges!
A few months ago I blogged about how when we are filled with the Holy Spirit there is fruit to follow, but now I'd like to take it a step further and say that there is specific fruit that a tree of righteousness will not produce. Just as an apple tree does not have to make a conscious effort to produce apples, we should not have to make a conscious effort to produce good fruit. Galatians 5:19-21 tells us:
"When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will produce these evil results: sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, participation in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outburst of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin."(NLT)
Conversely, Galatians 5:22 says:
"But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, He will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control." (NLT)
So many times I find myself praying with people who say they are saved and filled with the Holy Spirit, yet they find themselves constantly struggling with certain sins. We pray, and they find deliverance for a little while, but then they run back again. Anyone in ministry knows what a frustrating scenario this is, but perhaps the problem is that we are praying for symptoms instead of the cure for the disease. If a person who is filled with the Spirit will only produce good fruit, then should we not stop praying about the bad fruit and instead pray for the individual to be consumed by the Spirit? For if we are really filled by His Spirit, we can't help but produce love, peace, self-control, and the rest.
Lord, I pray that we would be enveloped by Your Holy Spirit, so that He has complete control of our lives. I pray that we would become trees of righteousness that produce good fruit naturally.
Lately, I have heard much debate about what it means to show the love of Jesus to people living in sin. I have been absolutely shocked at the ideas I have heard and read. I am not that surprised at the people who show no compassion to those who are still lost in their sins, because although it never ceases to disappoint me to see people who have forgotten where God brought them from, I am all too familiar with this response. I am much more surprised in the people (in particular those who claim they are called into ministry) who lie on the other side of the spectrum, claiming that we shouldn't take a stand against sin because that "isn't showing the love of Jesus". These are the people who say that in order to be like Jesus, we should accept the way people are and hope they figure out the truth on their own. So let's discuss the love of Jesus, shall we.
In John 4 we read of the encounter at the well between Jesus and the Samaritan woman.
While sitting beside Jacob's well, Jesus asked a Samaritan woman to give him water. This act took the woman back, because the Jews had nothing to do with her people. Jesus told her that He could give her living water that would never leave her thirsty again. When she asked for the water, Jesus told her to go and get her husband. When the woman responded, "I don't have a husband", Jesus said, "You're right you don't have a husband, you have five husbands, and you aren't married to the man you're living with now." (v.1-18) She ran back to her village to tell everyone about Jesus, and they "came streaming from the village to see Him." (v.30) The bible goes on to say, "Many Samaritans from the village believed in Jesus because the woman had said, 'He told me everything I ever did!' When they came out to see Him, they begged him to stay at their village. So He stayed 2 days, long enough for many of them to hear His message and believe." (v.39-41)
Jesus didn't ignore her sin, instead He confronted her with it, even though she didn't bring it up. When I hear those in ministry say that they don't tell people that they are in sin because they just want to show the love of Jesus, I wonder if they have even read the Gospels at all. The problem perhaps is that we are busy focusing on showing love, instead of focusing on being love. The question of "how can we show the love of Jesus if we are telling people they are living in sin?" is actually quite simple. We must become love and that permeates everything we do, without effort. Jesus loved the Samaritan woman. He loved her enough to go to her even though it was forbidden by His culture. He loved her enough to tell her the truth. And because He told her the truth, many in her village were saved.
Being like Jesus means being consumed by love, going to those we are to have shunned, and caring enough to tell the truth.
I'm going to tell you about one of my oddest habits. This may seem morbid, but when I hear that someone has died (whether I know them or not), I like to go to their Facebook wall and read their last postings. To me, it is the modern day equivalent to hearing their last words. Rarely do their words seem to be written by someone who knew their time was up. These statuses are usually filled with frustrations over traffic, or worry about a job, or irritations with someone who annoyed them.
As I read their musings, I can't help but think "what if I were judged by my last status update?" If I were to die tonight, could my friends and family take comfort that I really knew the Lord by reading what I wrote? Don't get me wrong, I know that there are millions of people who wear a mask online, trying to convince us that they are great Christians. However, I also know that from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh (in this case, the hands typeth) and that you know a tree by its fruit. While asking myself this question, I have a tremendous amount of guilt about the times I have let a bad day hurt my witness. I have lashed out and not shown much love in the past, and for that I am sorry.
So why such a peppy blog today, Lindsey? Because today was the funeral of a man I met just a few weeks ago. When we met, I had no idea it would be the first and last time we would speak. Last week, while on vacation and without warning, he took his last breath on this earth. He was fine one minute, and gone the next. When I heard of his death, a single verse came to mind: "...you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." James 4:14 (New King James Version). We aren't promised tomorrow, in fact we aren't promised the next hour, so let's make our words (spoken and typed) count. You may not have another shot to tell your family you love them. You may not have another day to take back an unkind word you wrote about someone. Treat everyday like it's your last chance to testify to love, grace, and mercy.
For as long as I can remember, my mother has prayed the same prayer for me everyday. It includes petitions for my protection and that I would always serve the Lord and work for Him. But the part of the prayer that has always stood out was towards the end, when she prays "prepare her heart for a young man, and a young man's heart for her." Now at ten years old I had no idea what that meant. At 20 years old I figured it meant that she knew that whom ever I ended up with was going to be ready to deal with me. But now, at 26 years old, I think I finally see what she was driving at. This revelation occurred to me when I began to think on the oft-quoted Psalm 37:4, which says "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Often times this verse is contorted to read as "God will give you whatever you want." But that isn't what it means at all. Generally when this scripture is discussed, the first half is left off. When you read it in context you start to see that what the Psalmist is actually saying is that when you find your delight in the Lord, what you want begins to change, your desires shift.
So with the knowledge of what the verse actually means, my mom's prayer took on new meaning. The prayer of preparing my heart was less about getting ready for a commitment, and more about desiring the right things in my mate. There was a time when my biggest concern was finding someone who made a lot of money, had an impressive career, and could provide the best for me. But as time moved on, my desires began to change. I saw that just because someone spends money on you, it doesn't mean they will be there for you, and having that great job could mean less time together, and the guarantee of providing an extravagant lifestyle often comes at the costs of emotional stability. As the Lord began to open more doors for me in ministry, I saw that the kind of person I need for my spouse will have to possess an entirely different set of characteristics than what I had once sought and that the changes in my wants had occurred because the Lord knew what I would need.
Often times we think we know exactly what we want, but delighting in the Lord means that our desires will change. It may seem scary to abandon what you have always wanted, but He knows what you need, so find your joy in Him and see how He changes your heart.
I want to tell you a story about James and Geneva. Nothing about their lives were glamourous or even notable to the world, but God did amazing things because of their faithfulness. Their lives started out hard. James was born in 1926 and had to quit school in the 6th grade to help on the family farm. Geneva was born in 1929. Her mother died when Geneva was only four years old and her father remarried because he felt that his 12 children needed a mother. Geneva's stepmother was unbelievably cruel to her, abusing her and treating her in ways barely imaginable. Geneva only completed the 8th grade.
James and Geneva met in 1945, when James's parents took him to a revival service. James snuck up behind Geneva and cut one of her braids off. He told her he would return it after she married him, two weeks later she did just that. James carried that lock of her hair in his wallet until his death. This marriage resulted in 5 children, 1 of whom was a still-born.
Although James and Geneva had accepted the Lord a few years after they were wed, James began to run from God. It was not until 1975 that he returned to the Lord. On the winter day, he found his eldest son dead at 26 years old. There, his son's body became an altar. A short time following this event, James and Geneva began preaching.
They believed in giving everything they had to the Lord. They took the call God had placed on them incredibly seriously, and would do whatever they had to in order to be in His will. During their time in ministry, they pastored one small mission and three churches, all in the same state. None of their churches ever ran more than around thirty. Because the churches were small, so were the finances. They worked hard to keep the churches afloat. It was not for lack of effort that the churches struggled. They both worked secular jobs and on their time not at those jobs, they visited, prayed, and preached, had yard sales, dinners, and did anything else they had to in order to pay the bills at the church.
They were not successful in the world's eyes. In fact, while at one pastorate they lived in the basement of the church. When it rained, water would seep down the walls and ruin the furniture. There was mold in the walls and rodents would invade. There was no shower or bathtub, so they heated water in a pan on a hot plate (because there was no stove) and took sponge baths. Any money they could raise went into the church for the Lord's work, and even in poverty they refused to accept any type of government assistance, because they believed the Lord would provide. They were faithful to the Lord, even though nothing they did would seem worth celebrating. James died in the late 1980's, and shortly there after Geneva slipped into a coma. She came out of the coma a few times, only to say the words "God's been good to me" and then fall back into her slumber. They did not see harvest from what they planted. But that's not the end of the story.
Although their three surviving children went through rebellious stages, they are all now serving the Lord. One daughter is a teacher in her local church and the other daughter along with her husband pastor. James and Geneva's surviving son accepted the call to preach and after years of working faithfully any where he was given the chance, became a Bishop in the church his mother loved. He earned two doctorates and has traveled around the world preaching the Gospel. He is involved in major decisions that effect the church globally. He is often a voice for the pastors who struggle, because he remembers what his parents endured. He has personally reached thousands with the message of Jesus. This bishop's son had a knack for public relations and a heart for the local church. Forgoing opportunities to work for secular companies, he became the communications director for the church. His work brings the gospel to countless multitudes through his assistance to local churches. This director's sister denied the call on her life because she saw what sacrifice was required. But, through wise counsel of her father and others, she came to realize that there is no better place to be than in the hand and will of God. She became a teacher and speaker and started a blog, called New Eyes, which has been read on five continents. The communications director is my brother, Shaun. The bishop is my father, Dr. E.C.McKinley. And James and Geneva were my grandparents.
Because of their example of faithfulness unto the Lord, people all over the world have been impacted through the work of their family. So many times we hear of ministers who give up because the sacrifice doesn't seem worth it. In fact, two of the churches my grandparents pastored closed, because no one else would give so much. Remember, even if you don't see the harvest now, His word never returns void. Keep preaching unapologetically, keep living a life a faithfulness even if the world thinks you are a fool. You have no idea what your life will mean to the generations behind you. On my grandparents' head stone lies the greatest words "faithful ministers of the Gospel." No one ever deserved that more. I hope I always make you proud.
Last weekend I had the immense pleasure of being a part of a new retreat at Camp Hickory Hills (Dickson, TN). The retreat was called Get R.E.A.L. (Refreshed, Encouraged, And Loved) and was created for girls from middle school to college. It was a weekend where girls were encouraged to be themselves and told repeatedly that they are special. Every session was geared towards issues young women face and every speaker was encouraged to "get real" and share from personal experiences. I was one of these "real" speakers.
As soon as I knew I would be speaking I knew exactly what I wanted to share but as I began preparing I started hearing familiar voices that always creep up before ministry opportunities. They say things like "this won't make any sense to anyone but you", "you'll look ridiculous", "you sound like a hillbilly when you talk", or "why would they even ask you to talk, you have nothing to say". Because of the personal matter I addressed at this retreat a new lie crept up, the lie that I would sound like a loser and people's opinions of me would change.
Clearly, those voices are the enemy trying to stop the word of God from being delivered. As I listened over the weekend I realized how much he is attacking this generation. Yes, they are constantly confronted with sex, drugs, alcohol, and all other manner of dangers, but there is a much bigger attack happening. It is a war on their self-esteem. Every time they turn on the T.V. they are told that they aren't good enough. Every magazine says they are too fat. These are traps designed to make these girls (and me) believe that they aren't perfect the way their Creator designed them. We all talk about the traps of the devil, but in this battle for self-esteem, he didn't set traps, he created minefields. Everywhere they turn, even when they least expect it, they are made to feel like failures. They live in a society that says their worth comes from their looks or social status.
So why does satan care so much about these girls doubting themselves? Well, what if I had listened to the lies he told me and changed my presentation to protect my ego or what if I refused to speak all-together because of it? If I had done that, the enemy would have won, and girls who needed to hear that particular word may have missed out. I see in this generation such incredible potential for ministry. Some of these girls are doing things for God even as teenagers that puts adults to shame. If I can see such potential for leadership in them, imagine how much more satan can see it and must want to kill it now. If he can make them buy into this lie that they are stupid, ugly, and worthless he WILL shut them up. This media bombardment against young women is much more serious than some advertisers trying to sell products or producers trying to sell movies, it is an absolute attack of the enemy.
Now is the time to take action. I know I ask you all to pray a lot, but I fully believe in the power of prayer. Lift up these young people (girls AND boys) in prayer. Pray that they would guard their hearts and minds against this daily assault on their spirits. Pray for wisdom so they can know that these are lies designed to shut their mouths and prevent God's Work from taking place. Secondly, encourage them and don't allow negative speak. Don't stand by and allow them to speak these lies themselves. I am chief among sinners on this one. I don't have to wait for anyone to put me down, I'll do it for myself. That's how I know that if they hear these lies enough, they will believe them. I am as serious about this as I have ever been about anything. I believe 100% that this fight is on a spiritual level, not physical. Please, help me in lifting up this generation.
While recently re-reading the story of King Saul found in I Samuel a word jumped off the pages at me that I had not noticed in the story before: “baggage”. This word changed my entire interpretation of this story. In case you don't know the story I'll give you a brief recap of what happened before Saul became king. Judges had ruled Israel up until Samuel grew old. The people of Israel demanded a king and the Lord told Samuel that the king was to be a man named Saul. When Samuel said to Saul "I am here to tell you that you and your family are the focus of all Israel's hopes", Saul responded "But I'm only from Benjamin, the smallest tribe in Israel, and my family is the least important of all the families of that tribe!" (I Samuel 9:20-21). The Lord even sent signs to Saul to let him know that this was God's will, and his heart accepted that it was the will of God. So now you are caught up, we can get on to the baggage.
Samuel gathers all of Israel together to present Saul as their king. The people began asking the Lord where Saul was and "the Lord replied, 'He is hiding among the baggage'." (I Samuel 10:22) And this is where my heart started pounding and I had to stop and read that verse over and over again. I know that this passage is referring to literally baggage, but it made me stop and think how many anointed men and women of God are hiding in baggage afraid to step up to what God has for them because they feel inferior.
I can't help but think about young men and women I see who have a clear anointing on their lives but feel undeserving because of the baggage they carry. Saul pointed out that he was from an unimportant family in a society where your ancestral line meant everything. How many times have I heard young people tell me they come from homes that are broken and dysfunctional? They get scared of the call God has placed on them and use their baggage as a hiding place. They say, "I come from a background of abandonment, abuse, or addiction. I can't do anything right." But I'm here to tell you that when God's power takes hold of your life there is nothing you can't do through Him. When you use the baggage of your past to hide, you can never find the will of the Lord for your life. You will never find peace. You will never find true joy.
Saul's baggage led to a feeling of inferiority and that led him to disobedience to the Lord. (I Samuel 15:1-22) This disobedience resulted in the Spirit of Lord leaving Saul. (I Samuel 16:14;) This led to depression, jealousy, anger, paranoia, and even attempted murder. (I Samuel 16:14; 18:9,15; 20:30; 18:17) And it all started because he hid in his baggage.
So here is the point: When God calls you, He doesn't care about your past. He put you in the home, town, and family He did for a reason. Remember Romans 8:28 "We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." Your past is nothing to hide in or from. Wherever and whatever you have come from does not have the right to stop you from fulfilling the destiny and call God has placed in you.
Having grown up in church I have seen my share of felt boards, object lessons, and power-points, each detailing some biblical concept that was over my head but there is one lesson that I still remember more than 15 years after seeing it. I was at church camp and my cabin leader was doing a devotion. We sat in a circle on the floor as she pulled out a poster with a picture of a tree on it that was labeled "sin". She used the poster to explain salvation, sanctification (the fact that this was discussed will seem foreign to some), and the baptism of the Holy Spirit. She explained that salvation is "cutting down the sin tree", that is, it erases the sin. Next, she said that sanctification is "pulling up the roots", meaning our desire to sin is removed. Lastly, she said that Holy Spirit baptism meant filling the space left by the roots with God's Spirit. I was probably around 10 years old when I heard this and although I can't remember anything else about that week (forgive me if you were my cabin leader and I can't remember who you were) but I remember that poster.
That picture has been in my mind this past week. It brought me to a thought that had never crossed my mind before. If the Holy Spirit is the tree that replaces the "sin tree" then why are people who have been baptized in the Spirit not bearing new fruit? If church people were filled with the Spirit then wouldn't the churches be filled with people? Does the Holy Spirit not bring boldness to believers to share the Gospel?
Please understand that when I ask if church members are filled with the Spirit I am not accusing them of lying about being baptized in the Spirit, I am pointing out that there is a difference between receiving baptism and being filled. To be filled with something implies that there is no room for anything else. Filling a bucket with water implies that there is no room for anything else. But how many of us (even good church people) allow other things to take place in our hearts and minds and then expect the Holy Spirit to squeeze in too? I am preaching to myself. I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit (with evidence of speaking in tongues) at a young age but I have not allowed the Spirit to FILL me until recently. If you are filled with Him there is no extra room for hatred, envy, greed, lies, or any other manner of sin. The more I fill my mind and heart with God's word and the more time I spend with Him, the less time I have for the trash I had allowed to enter for so long. Perhaps if we set out to be filled with His Spirit instead of just baptized in it we would bear the fruit.
Don't misunderstand. I believe in the baptism of the Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. But if we seek the Spirit merely to speak in tongues, we miss the point. We should be empowered by His Spirit to share the Gospel. We should look, sound, and act different than those who are not filled. Please join with me in asking God to fill us with His Spirit so that we will bear the fruit.
Many of you know that I have recently become more involved in youth ministry. For some reason that I really don't understand my favorite part of this ministry is praying with students. It's not easy, in fact it is incredibly challenging to know what to say and when and perhaps that's why most people who work in youth and children ministries shy away from altar work. As I have prayed with more young people lately I have found a recurring theme. Many young people tell me they doubt not only their personal salvation but the existence of God entirely. Bear in mind, I'm not just talking about the "sinner kids", I'm talking about the ones who have grown up in church. The ones who were drug there on Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, Wednesday nights, and any other time doors were open. So the question becomes "How can kids grow up in God's house and yet doubt His existence?"
I am a part of what I would like to call the Photoshop Generation. My generation and those following live in a world in which almost anything can be fabricated. When was the last time you saw a picture on Facebook or on a website proclaiming a miracle that you actually believed was authentic? I assume everything is photoshopped. I assume everything is altered. My generation has grown up in a world where most prominent ministers seem to perform miracles for money. We watch men and women on Christian programming point at the camera with their hands dripping in diamonds and their wrists adorned with expensive watches saying "if you just had enough faith to send in your last hundred dollars to the number at the bottom of the screen God would see your faith and heal you." We are an incredibly cynical generation and perhaps it's not completely our fault.
In the bible God used miracles as a way to get people's attention and prove His power and existence. Maybe if we saw miracles and believed them to be real we wouldn't have such a hard time believing in this all-powerful God. But that is the problem. Our cynicism makes it almost impossible to believe. So perhaps we need to change our definition of what a miracle is. If God wanted to part the seas today like He did in the Old Testament He could, but we would assume it was caused by a machine pumping water out. If He wanted to speak through burning bushes He could, but we would check it for speakers.
Perhaps my generation needs to realize that there are miracles all around us. When an alcoholic gives his life to Christ and never takes another drink, that is a miracle. When a woman finds the strength in Christ to give up a promiscuous lifestyle, that is a miracle. When a teenager gives her burdens to Jesus and stops cutting herself, that is a miracle. I am asking you to join with me in praying for my generation and those behind me that God would reveal Himself in a mighty way to them. I am asking you to pray that He opens their eyes to His work all around them. And most importantly, I am asking you to be transparent and share the miracles He has done in your own life. We are made over-comers by the word of our testimony, and it is time for the church to over-come. Let God use you to show us that He is working miracles everyday, genuine miracles that cannot be replicated, duplicated, or photoshopped.
As I write this blog I am watching the funeral service of Whitney Houston. Since her death one week ago she has been the topic of constant discussion on Facebook and Twitter. Most comments I have seen have referenced the legacy of music she left behind. I have read the statuses of how she has impacted my friends through her songs and movies. But, as is generally the case when someone who has struggled with substance abuse, I also came across comments about how "this is what happens when _____" and they fill in the blank making assumptions about her death even though no one knows for sure yet what happened. I have seen this before when other celebrities die and even in private conversations following the deaths of people I knew personally.
My heart breaks when I hear such comments, particularly because they almost always come from my Christian friends. For some reason, my church friends often like to take a position of "I told you so" and somehow imply that someone who struggles with sin deserves death. I have a horrible fact for you, we all deserve death because we are all sinners. You see, we are all born into sin and the wages of sin is death. I believe with all my heart that hell is a very real place and spending eternity there is the wage for sin. When our time on earth is done, God will judge us, based not on our good works or how kind or how much we did, but on whether or not we accepted salvation. Because of sin, we are all bound for hell. But you see, I John 2:1 tells us that we have an advocate in Jesus. In today's language, Jesus is like our lawyer. He goes to the judge (God) and makes a way for us. His death on the cross created a sort of loop hole for those who call on His name. Accepting Him into your heart and receiving the salvation He died for ensures that you don't have to endure the punishment you deserve. So you see, to say that someone "got what they deserved" is a horrific comment, because through the love of God, we don't get what we deserve. But for the grace of God, any of us could find ourself in the grips of addiction. I call out to my friends and ask that we stop our judgement and realize that none of us are above these struggles. Indeed, I firmly believe that any of us could be just one illness, surgery, or accident from becoming an addict. We have no space to judge, God is the only judge. But for the grace of God go I (and you). That's the point of grace, it keeps us from getting what we deserve.
I don't know what the condition of her soul was the night of her death any more than any one else does. I do know that she was raised by a mother who clung to Christ with all her might and who raised her child, Whitney, in the "fear and admonition" of the Lord. As I watch this service nearly every person at the pulpit has brought up how often she would mention the Lord, even referring to Him as "my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ". Her last recorded performance was an impromptu retention of Jesus Loves Me just prior to her death. I find it hard to believe that someone who had Jesus so deep in her mind would not have called out to Him in her final hours. I am extremely grateful that we will not be judged by man, who can be so harsh. Praise God that He is the only one who decides where our soul will spend eternity.
On the 2011 Grammys, pop star Katy Perry sang her song, "Not Like The Movies". She performed on a swing suspended in the air as the video of her fall 2010 wedding to comedian Russell Brand played on the massive train of her dress. The song asserts that when you find "the one" it will be like the fairy tale movies we have all seen and if you haven't found that, then you haven't found your mate and should keep looking. One lyric even states, "Just like the movies/That's how it should be/Cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending..." She most certainly got a dramatic ending, but it wasn't perfect. By the end of 2011, Brand filed for divorce and just like that the fairy tale she thought she had found crumbled.
So the obvious question is, why am I telling such a depressing story on the eve of Singles Awareness Day (some of you refer to it as Valentine's, but if you are alone on the 14th, the day is just plain SAD)? As a single young woman I am constantly bombarded with messages from the media about what my relationships should be like. The theme of Ms. Perry's song is a common one throughout music and movies. There is this idea that love should be easy, and that's how you know it's real. As a Christian, I can't accept this theory. We all know I Corinthians 13:4-7:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
How can love prove itself patient if there are never times of struggle? How can it prove it is kind unless there are moments of frustration? How can it be shown to not be envious, boastful, or proud unless there are instances in which these things are met? To say that love isn't real unless it is flawless is ridiculous. Any relationship, regardless of how much you think God brought you together, is still the meeting of two flawed human beings. Loving a person doesn't mean that times will never be tough, it means that you will stick it out and love each other when your partner seems unloveable. To claim that a relationship isn't worth preserving just because it isn't perfect is childish nonsense and verse 11 of that passage reminds us:
11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
Don't allow yourself to be deceived by the world's version of what true love is. You know why love is perfect in movies? Because they are characters, not real people, and their stories are scripted. The measure of real love isn't that every scenario turns out beautifully, love is real because it never fails.
When I was 20, I totaled a car. To be more specific, I totaled an SUV. To be even more specific, it belonged to my mom. I woke up that morning to find numerous voice mails and text messages from my then-boyfriend telling me that he was in the ER for a minor issue. I told my mom that I was going to drive from Nashville to Atlanta to be with him. Now that I am older I realize that she was right when she told me I shouldn't go and that there was nothing I could do, but because I was 20 and thus knew everything, I insisted. She was going to Chattanooga to meet up with my dad, who was already there, so we decided I would go with her that far and then take her SUV to Atlanta.
The drive was going great until I happened upon a piece of a tire in the fast lane I was driving in. When I saw the debris I swerved, lost contol and hit a guardrail. I hit the rail once in the front, skidded, hit it in the back, and shot across 3 lanes of very busy traffic. I had enough time to cry out "JESUS" (I know that sounds like I made it up, but it's truth) before the car came to a perfect stop, just a few feet from a drop-off. I had broken the frame, there was no way it was drivable. I called my parents who started immediately driving to me from Chattanooga. I kept it together until they got there. Once I saw them I just kept crying and apologizing and begging them to forgive me, but they would hear nothing of it. They cut me off in the midst of my apology to say "it doesn't matter, it's just a car, you are ok, that's all we care about." The state trooper told them that I was incredibly fortunate because he had seen people die over a lot less that what happened to me.
I know it seems like I said all this just to share a testimony of God's grace and protection, and I thank Him for that, but I see something much bigger in this. Maybe you are in the position I was, driving in the fast lane, going your own way even when you are wrong. Eventually, you will meet the same fate as I did, you will run upon garbage that you can't avoid, you'll lose control, and the only resolution is to cry out "JESUS".
I can assure you of this, when you do give it to Him, just like in my situation, your Father will come running and before you have the chance beg, He will forgive you. My parents never held it against me that I destroyed their car. They never brought it up in the future other than to thank God for keeping me that day. I have never been blamed for either my poor decision while driving nor my stubbornness to insist on taking the trip. It is the same with God. He isn't going to hold your bad decisions against you, He won't keep bringing them up. He loves you simply because you are His child.
I have a feeling that some who read this are going to walk away disagreeing with me or even being upset by my standpoint, and that's okay. I do ask, however, that even if you get upset or don't want to finish this blog, at least watch the link at the end of this post. I think it puts the original Why I Hate Religion clip in better context. Over 15.5 million people have watched "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus" clip, but less than 400,000 have watched him give his testimony. I think you can better understand his point if you watch the testimony video. And beside that, the analogy at the end is pretty boss.
In the past few weeks a video has made the rounds on facebook. The video is called "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus". Every time I log in I see people either sharing it because it touched them, or debating its merits. Basically, it is a poem written by Jefferson Bethke, a young man, in which he states that Jesus came to abolish religion, and proceeds to describe the problems with religion and how it is different from a relationship with Jesus. I'm going to write this blog with the assumption that you have viewed it. I'm not going to argue for or against the points he makes because although there are things in it I don't agree with and there are some things I completely endorse, I really don't want to focus on his words, I want to focus on his intent.
I have heard people argue that he takes cheap shots at Republicans because he mentions them, but not Democrats. I have heard people debate the line "if religion is so great then why has it started so many wars?" (which, by the way, he doesn't specify which religions start wars. And fact is, a lot of wars in history have been fought in the name of religion, all types of relgion. There are even ties between Hitler and false religions, but I'll save that for another day.) And I've heard people say that he is unnecisarily critical of churches when he says "why does it build huge churches but fails to feed the poor." But in so many of these criticisms that I have read on facebook statuses and in blogs, the thing that stands out the most is that very few critics a rejoicing for what God did in this young man's life.
Here is a young man who has now told over 15 million strangers that he was addicted to pornography and only cared about sex and partying and instead of rejoicing over the change God's love has had in his life, we are criticizing his method. The ironic part is that this young man is speaking out against hypocrisy and modern-day pharisees, and his testimony was met with such disdain. People are arguing and tearing apart every word and missing the big picture, the young person is trying to tell people about a God who loved him when religion failed him. Most of these critics are proving his point.
I'm not asking you to accept every word he said, but I'm asking you to listen with your spiritual ears to what his point was. I have attached the link to his testimony. He was a young man abandoned by his father, and forced to go to church by his mother even though she was not a believer. He spent his days and nights pursing lustful desires, but made sure that he carried the facade on the outside that he had learned at church until he had a real encounter with a God who loves him. Religion failed to make him whole, but Jesus restored him and he could not stay silent. I applaud his courage. Most young people today can't formulate a testimony to save their life and even if they did, they are not bold enough to share it. He is shining a light on serious issues amongst "church kids".
Maybe the reason people are so critical of this video is because they don't want to admit that he is right about hypocrisy in the church. I've said before and I'll say again, young people always want to say those older than us are hypocrites, but you can be a young hypocrite just like you can be an old one. We see the bible verses on Sunday morning being posted on facebook, but we also see where they spent their Saturday nights. I especially appreciate the fact that Bethke admitted to a sin that is eating young people (even in the church) alive, pornography addictions. That is a sin that is easily hidden, and he could have kept it a secret, but he was open about it and how God delivered him from it. Even if that was all he said, I would have loved him for sharing it.
The line that probably touched me the most was "I love the church, I love the bible, and yes, I believe in sin, but if Jesus came to your church would they actually let them in?" Which was a fair question and maybe another reason people have such strong emotions about the poem. I have absolutely seen people be shut out from church because they didn't look, act, or dress right. I saw it and did nothing, so I am just as guilty as those who rejected these people. This young man is not trying to tear the church down, he is trying to open our eyes to truth. Religion failed him and left him in the dark for too long, but Christ set him free. When is the last time you came across a young person who was so passionate about the change in himself that he could not be silent, even in the face of ridicule? What are we teaching young people when one of them shares his heart and is met with 5 page essays breaking down every syllable and tearing him down? I choose to affirm his words. I choose to support those who share the Gospel in creative ways. Even if his words were controversial, over 15 million people watched a video with the line "When He was dangling on that cross, He was thinking of you." He reached more people than I ever can, and I choose to lift him up in prayer, praise God for his transformation, and pray that God would continue to raise up young people who will be bold enough to share their testimonies.
This is Jefferson Bethke's testimony, given at a FCA meeting. His candidness with these students touched me, please watch and see if this doesn't put his poem in a different context for you.
This is an extremely transparent blog entry. I am asking that you not begin reading it unless you have time to read it in its entirety because if you don't read the whole thing you will likely become offended and not understand my point. This is your only warning...
You still there? Good. Let's roll.
Youth ministry terrifies me. The idea of dealing with teenagers has always been a source of great anxiety for me. I'm assuming it is because my teenage years were not very pleasant. Being picked on in middle and high schools shows you the ugly side of young people and I never wanted to work with young people because I assumed most of them were like the bullies I dealt with on a daily basis. That said, over my teen years and now in my twenties I have helped out with my share of youth camps, retreats, and lock-ins simply because I was asked to. I showed up, did as I was told, talked to kids, and said a halfway prayer with them because I figured youth ministers just needed a warm body or an extra adult to add on the insurance paperwork and I figured I could be useful for that. It's not that I didn't love them or care for their well being or that God hasn't blessed interactions I had with them, but my heart wasn't there.
Within the last year, God has turned my heart towards young people. I began actually listening when they talked and looking them in the eye when they came to me for help and I saw that I was wrong about them. In fact, judging by comments I hear, most people in churches are wrong about them. We call them lazy and say they have no direction, we claim they aren't committed to anything including the church, and complain that they are broken. Here are some facts I want you to consider before you label these kids:
1. They are not lazy and without direction, they simply have not been taught to think for themselves. From the time these kids are 5 their parents decide that they will be a baseball star or a dancer or a heart surgeon and they are placed on a track to make those dreams come true. We decide what they will become and push them to that end. By the time they are adults, they have no idea what they want because they have never had to think about what they want. Is it really their fault that they have no direction on their own if they have never been asked what they want?
2. They often haven't had good examples about what commitment in general means, let alone commitment to a church. As stated previously, parents dictate when they are young what their priorities are to be. How many parents pull their kids from Wednesday night service for ball practice and then it turns into "they are too tired from Saturday nights game/play/show/concert to attend Sunday morning"? Every time these excuses are made, we are teaching our children that God does not have priority over our dreams. So how can they be expected to be committed to church when they spent their childhood being pulled out for one reason or another?
3. They are broken. I won't argue with that one. They are a generation that was raised in homes that were broken in more than one way. Many were raised in more than one home, with more than one family. Maybe they were abandoned by one or both parents at a young age and now have no concept of an adult who sticks around when times are tough. Maybe they were raised by a homosexual mother or father and are confused when discussing the necessity for male and female influence in their life. In the lives of more and more young people we find kids who were raised by parents who cared more about being their friend than being a stable adult. Parents want them to be their confidants and they run to them for solutions to their problems instead of allowing it to be the way God intended and be there for their kids instead of burdening them constantly. We have a generation of kids who raised parents instead of parents who raised kids. They are brought up in a world that tells them it's okay to get drunk as long as you don't drive and it's okay to have sex as long as you put a thin piece of latex between you and it's okay to live however you want as long as you are happy in this moment and they are never taught about the emotional ramifications of their lifestyles. They are absolutely broken, you're right about that one.
I'm not here to proclaim myself as a youth minister, but I am saying that I believe in taking up for those who can't defend themselves. Perhaps it has to do with my last name, but I was raised to stick up for others and the way I hear young people being put down in churches is really getting under my skin. I am asking you to support them in the following ways:
1. Pray for them. Pray that God reveals Himself in a way that they cannot deny His existence. Pray for a hunger to be ignited in them to seek His face always and pray for direction in their lives.
2. Pray for youth ministers. The average youth minister only stays at a church for a few months and resigns. Pray for Divine creativity to flow through them to give them unique ways to minister. Pray for patience and understanding as they deal with young people and with parents.
3. Pray for the congregation. Pray that God will give you new compassion to see the truth about these kids. They are loud, but they a passionate. They are broken, but they are seeking. They are different, but they are sincere. My favorite thing about young people is that they seek truth and shun lies. Perhaps our main problem with them is that they call us out when we "play church". They want answers for why things are the way they are and we should encourage that. When they come to you with questions and you don't have answers, be honest. Tell them you don't know and seek a solution. Encourage their curiosity. They are seeking understanding and consider it an honor that they trust you enough to approach you. Learn their names, learn their faces, ask about their lives. It will make a difference.
4. Lastly, support them with your wallets. Churches will spend thousands of dollars to revamp sanctuaries but give the left overs to the children and youth departments. They are not the church of tomorrow, they are the church of today and to say we support them but not back it up financially is hypocrisy.
I know this was long and probably made me look bad at points but I feel God speaking to me very strongly about this. Get to know the young people in your life and in your church. I will guarantee you that if you spend time in prayer for them and speaking with them, your opinion will change. I am sure that it was only by God's move that my heart was changed and I know that yours will be too.
I have been in countless church services that ended with a minister asking something like "don't you feel better?" I understand the idea behind the statement. There is a peace and joy that comes from laying your burdens down, but when was it decided that feeling better was the goal of coming into God's house? You may ask why should I even care that such a statement be made, but my reasoning is simple. The world today (and my generation in particular) rely too much on feelings. Ask a young person how they know they are in love and they'll generally respond "I just feel like I am". Ask why they act depressed and it's "I just feel sad". Ask why they engage in certain behaviors and they reply "It feels good".
And what's wrong with relying on feelings? Feelings fade. Having a "good church service" in which you leave feeling better about what ever you are facing is useless when you go home and face the situation again. Being raised Pentecostal (a fact I am incredibly grateful for), I have seen my share of services in which the music is great and people cry and feel relief and we leave saying "The power of God showed up so strong that the preacher didn't even get to preach." And then we leave the church and go to lunch and go about our day and act exactly the way we did the day before. We may have left the church feeling better, but we didn't leave changed. The truth is that the times in which I have truly been in God's presence I didn't feel better, I felt challenged. I have found strength, and peace, and refuge, and a place of rest in Him, but He doesn't reveal Himself so that we can let go of a few tears and feel like we've had a breakthrough. It is impossible to be in His presence and leave unchanged, so when I hear someone say "I felt the presence of God" and yet no change takes place I have to question if they had an encounter or just a feeling.
The second problem with relying on our feelings is that they can easily be induced. I believe that churches often encourage the idea that feeling better meant that something great happened because if we are going by feelings, then we can replicate the situation in which the feelings came about and please the congregation. You often hear worship leaders sing a song because "God moved last time we sang this" and pastors often recycle old sermons because they saw people react in one way or another to it in the past. How dare we make such a mockery of God's presence? We try to "stir up" something in the congregation and pass it off as a move of God, but people leave exactly the way they came.
I say boldly, I don't care if church makes you feel better, I care if you leave God's house changed. I don't care if the sermon hit you where you live and now you feel badly about your lifestyle, I care that you are somewhere in which someone loves you enough to tell you the truth. There is joy and peace that you will find when you live in His presence, but it has nothing to do with how you feel, it has everything to do with what you know. I know that I'm saved not because I feel better but because I am better because He changed my life. If you have been living your life based on your emotions, I invite you today to lay it aside. Emotions fade, truth remains.
Have you ever found yourself in a war that you seemingly can't win? I have found myself in a situation in which there is no easy way out. I feel attacked and as hard as I have fought back, the end never comes. I have gone through every channel I know to resolve the issue, responded in every way I know how, and have even prayed; and still I suffer. This past week I began truly seeking God for the first time in this manner. I prayed and fasted, and prayed some more and in my prayer time this morning, He made it clear to me that I have been praying the wrong way this entire time.
As I prayed, He kept bringing to my mind Psalm 121:
The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in
from this time forth, and even for evermore.
This entire time I had been praying for God to help me win this battle, but this time He wants to fight for me, not along with me. The truth is that if He had allowed resolution to come based on any of the attempts I made, then I would have taken glory for it. God doesn't need my fingerprints all over His victory.
I realize now that there is nothing I can do that is stronger than what He can. All the thoughts in my head of the way I want to see this war end are nothing compared to what He can do, for He is sovereign, and I am not. As much as we like to fantasize about what we will say, and the plans we can make to trap someone, and how much we will feel vindicated in the end, it is impossible to escape a battle without scars. I can now see that any of the scenarios that played out in my mind (even if I would have won) would have left me scarred, it is only if I stay out of it, keep my mouth shut, and let Him do ALL the fighting for me that I can come out of this strong and unharmed.
I have handed this situation over entirely to God. I'm done talking about it. I'm done plotting about it. It belongs to Him. I'm going to keep doing my best to follow Him and do what I know is right, and He will preserve me. I am going to get out of His way and stop demanding that I put my fingerprints on His victories.
I don't like to start arguments...but I like to finish them. Before you think that sounds arrogant, realize that I am not bragging about this fact. When an argument ensues I begin to feel heat in my stomach and it radiates up my chest and by the time it gets to my mouth I can't be quiet. They say your body has a fight or flight response to confrontation, and let's just say that flying is not my style.
Recently, I felt that I had been attacked and it was totally unprovoked. I'm not going into detail because it doesn't matter, but suffice it to say that a long time frustration with this person was topped off with a single comment. In that moment I made a decision to retaliate. I chose to use the same medium so as to teach the other person a lesson. In the light of day, when all is said and done, I realize that I am the one who needed to be taught something. I am not responsible for what others say or do or how they feel about me, I am only responsible for how I react. I love to have the most clever remarks in an argument and come out on top in a fight, but how can I end up on top if I make myself small in the process?
A few months ago, when I told one of my mentors about the calling I felt on my life, she responded that she wasn't going to be overjoyed for me because she knew that when someone accepts God's calling the devil tries to attack and distract from what God would have them do. I feel like that is all that this episode was. Satan wanted to distract me in a time that God had brought several people to me for ministry. Any minute spent contemplating how I will attack next or what I will say when they strike back is a minute I should have spent seeking God's voice and ministering. Even though I didn't start the argument, it wasn't my job to finish it. I always thought that it was okay to strike back with hurtful comments if they would end a fight started by someone else, but I was wrong. God's hand is on me and I failed when I chose to give the other person "a dose of their own medicine". I learned that you can't keep your eyes on the cross when you stoop to someone else's level. What God is doing in their life is between them and Him, but He has been trying to do something in me and I shouldn't have participated in childish games. Even if I was trying to defend myself, that isn't my job. God is my defender, I should let Him do it.
I am better than my behavior and for the first time in my life, having the wittier comment didn't make me feel better. I have prayed to God to help me mature spiritually, and for the first time I felt truly convicted over comments I made. I share this with you knowing that it doesn't make me sound good, but I share it because I learned an important lesson in keeping my mouth shut and letting God fight for me. I refuse to allow anything else to distract me for even a moment from what God is doing through me.
