If It's Not Like the Movies, It's Normal

On the 2011 Grammys, pop star Katy Perry sang her song, "Not Like The Movies".  She performed on a swing suspended in the air as the video of her fall 2010 wedding to comedian Russell Brand played on the massive train of her dress.  The song asserts that when you find "the one" it will be like the fairy tale movies we have all seen and if you haven't found that, then you haven't found your mate and should keep looking.  One lyric even states, "Just like the movies/That's how it should be/Cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending..."  She most certainly got a dramatic ending, but it wasn't perfect.  By the end of 2011, Brand filed for divorce and just like that the fairy tale she thought she had found crumbled. 


So the obvious question is, why am I telling such a depressing story on the eve of Singles Awareness Day (some of you refer to it as Valentine's, but if you are alone on the 14th, the day is just plain SAD)?  As a single young woman I am constantly bombarded with messages from the media about what my relationships should be like. The theme of Ms. Perry's song is a common one throughout music and movies. There is this idea that love should be easy, and that's how you know it's real.  As a Christian, I can't accept this theory. We all know I Corinthians 13:4-7:


4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


How can love prove itself patient if there are never times of struggle?  How can it prove it is kind unless there are moments of frustration?  How can it be shown to not be envious, boastful, or proud unless there are instances in which these things are met?  To say that love isn't real unless it is flawless is ridiculous. Any relationship, regardless of how much you think God brought you together, is still the meeting of two flawed human beings.  Loving a person doesn't mean that times will never be tough, it means that you will stick it out and love each other when your partner seems unloveable.  To claim that a relationship isn't worth preserving just because it isn't perfect is childish nonsense and verse 11 of that passage reminds us:


¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 


Don't allow yourself to be deceived by the world's version of what true love is.  You know why love is perfect in movies?  Because they are characters, not real people, and their stories are scripted.  The measure of real love isn't that every scenario turns out beautifully, love is real because it never fails.