A Letter to Me

Dear Lindsey at 16,

As I write this, I am 27 years old and getting married in a month. It occurs to me that there are a few things I want you to know at 16 that would make the next decade a lot easier. First of all, your parents are geniuses! Both of them. Your mom is crazy and talks like Loretta Lynn, but she is the most fun-loving person you will ever meet. She possesses a strength that you couldn't possibly understand. She has been through more than most people would have to face in 10 lifetimes, and still ended up being gracious, loving, and forgiving. Cut her some slack. Your dad constantly gives you speeches, but he is preparing you for your future, so listen. He is one of the best preachers you could ever study under, so pay attention and learn how to deliver a message that can reach any generation, ethnicity, or spiritual need. He is actually quite brilliant. More important than any of that, you will be at home with them longer than you realize. They will never ask you to leave and will always make you feel that you belong, even when the day comes that you have to confess to them that you were less than perfect. On that day, they will offer unfailing love that you couldn't imagine.

Don't be arrogant in your Christian walk. Don't think you could never give into temptation-you will use that thinking as an excuse to put yourself in some really stupid situations. Be on guard. God has placed an anointing in you and the devil will do everything possible to destroy and kill you. Don't give him a foothold.

I'm going to spend the rest of this letter telling you some facts that you don't want to hear, but it is most important, because these are the issues that will have the greatest effect on you.

Do you see the picture at the top of this page? Do you see how happy you are? You are happy because you are holding the man who will be your husband. I'm not letting you see his face because you don't need to know what he looks like. You spend too much time worried about who you will end up with. You will find him when you stop wasting time wondering about him. It will happen when you make the decision that on the chance that you end up alone then you better become someone you want to spend time with. You will find him when you improve yourself, not physically like you are thinking, but mentally and spiritually.

I will let you know this-he is more handsome and kind than you could imagine. He is also saving his virginity for you. He loves and respects you enough to save himself for a woman he hasn't even met yet, so don't disrespect him by giving yourself to someone else. Having to tell him that you didn't respect your future spouse the way he did will be very difficult, so heed the following warnings:

Giving your virginity away before marriage usually doesn't happen suddenly. It happens little by little. A guy won't walk up and say "let's have sex" and you instantly know it's wrong. Sin doesn't work like that. It creeps in, disguised as love and encourages you to give a little at a time. Sin isn't satisfied with part of you. There will come a point when you become convinced that if you give a little of yourself that will satisfy guys. Sin won't be satisfied, your appeasements will only lead to more sin.

A real man will not only respect you, he will force you to respect yourself. He won't encourage you to walk around half naked. He will want you to be the lady God designed you to be. He will want to show you off not for your body, but because you are a strong, intelligent, spiritual woman he can take pride in. This is the kind of man you will marry.

Be pliable in God's hand. Learn His Word. Speak only what He speaks through you. Believe it or not, the day is coming when He will use you to reach a lost generation. Don't be so quick to cut people out. Burnt bridges make it hard to walk the road of ministry. The day will come when you have to track people down and apologize for things you have done in order to allow the Lord to use you, so make your words sweet because you will have to swallow them soon.

You are more beautiful and talented and smarter than you realize. Anyone who tells you otherwise does so because they don't want you to realize that you could have better in life because they are afraid that you will find better.

Your life will get better, I promise. Don't give up hope.

Love,
Lindsey

P.S. Stop going to the tanning bed. You will NEVER be tan. You're Irish, get over it.