Crucible. That's the word the Lord kept putting before my spiritual eyes. As I faced one heartache after another this year, He kept whispering "crucible". When I asked why I had to go through the pain and pressure, He kept repeating, "crucible".
A physical crucible is defined as, "a ceramic or metal container in which metals or other substances may be melted or subjected to very high temperatures." A crucible is used to refine metals, such as gold.
John Bevere, in his book The Bait of Satan, describes the difference in gold before and after it is refined:
"Refined gold is soft and pliable, free from corrosion or other substances. It is when gold is mixed with other metals that it becomes hard, less pliable, and more corrosive. This mixture is called an alloy. The higher the percentage of foreign metals, the harder the gold becomes. Conversely, the lower the percentage of alloy, the softer and more flexible."
He goes on to add:
"First step in refining gold is grinding it into a powder and mixing it with a substance called flux. Then the mixture is placed in a furnace and melted by intense heat. The alloys and impurities are drawn to the flux and rise to the surface. The gold (which is heavier) remains at the bottom. The impurities or dross (such as copper, iron, and zinc, combined with flux) is then removed, yielding a purer metal."
Now it makes sense why the Lord kept putting this word in my heart.
Every trial. Every difficulty. Every day spent crying. Every night spent wide awake with worry. I get it now. All those bad things that I "didn't deserve" were just extra degrees added to the refiner's fire.
When gold is heated, all the impurities come to the surface. So it is with trials. Under pressure, we see what's really on the inside. The Bible tells us that what comes out of our mouths originates from our hearts. When things are going well, we can suppress the ugly parts of us. But when we struggle, are anxious or just plain mad, we find ourselves verbalizing what we didn't even know was there.
Now confronted with all my issues glaring at me from the surface, I had to choose: stuff them back down and pretend I didn't know better, or let God complete the process He intended when He put me in the heat. I chose the latter. I asked for His help and then I set out to ask for forgiveness from those I had wronged in my "alloy days".
The result was spectacular. God restored and enriched relationships I thought would be lost in the midst of the fire. He gave me more clarity on His Will for my life. He gave me peace that comes from knowing the crucible is a gift and not a punishment.
Gold has to be refined so it can be pliable. It has to be pliable so it can be shaped and formed into something beautiful.
Don't despise the crucible. Pray for understanding in the struggle and for the strength to let God do the work He desires in you.
