Blind

One very cold morning my then four-year-old son, Kai accompanied me to the grocery store to grab a few things. As we stood in the checkout line I instructed Kai to put on his hat before we walked back out into the elements. But my fun-spirited boy couldn't put it on the "right" way, instead, he pulled the over-sized cap over his entire face. As we were leaving the cashier said, "I don't know how he can see." I quickly replied, "he can't", and kept walking. We walked towards the door as the cashier stared dumbfounded, trying to figure out what kind of mom would let her child walk out the door, across a parking lot blind.

The answer is the kind of mom whose kid never holds her hand.

You see, Kai has always been too independent for my peace. He viewed holding my hand as a sign of weakness. But, with his eyes covered he knew he HAD to depend on me. As the exit doors slid open, he reached up and grabbed my hand. This was the first time he did so voluntarily. I guided him with ease toward our vehicle. As we were almost to the car his disorientation caught up with him and he informed me, "mom, I can't see." Immediately I asked the question he had already answered by making it that far, "do you trust me?" "Yes", my brave boy replied. That trust pushed him past the fear and got us safely to our destination.

When Kai is fully sighted, he's distracted. He runs after every shiny thing he sees, a scary proposition when you know those "shiny things" are attached to vehicles that could crush him in seconds. The cashier thought I was a neglectful mom for allowing his blindness, but the truth was that because I knew him best, I knew blindness would serve him well. This story only ends well because Kai trusted the one whose hand he was holding.

This is a picture of how the Lord often leads us. He will, at times, let us walk blindly so we can cling more closely to him. He knows us better than anyone else, in fact, He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows how easily distracted and rebellious we can be, and He knows the danger awaiting such attitudes, so He puts us in situations where we can't make it on our own. This is for our protection. The Lord's decision to walk you "blind" isn't a punishment or "power trip", it's proof that He knows and loves you deeply.

This is how you learn to walk by faith and NOT by sight (2 corinthians 5:7). In this portion of Corinthians Paul was talking about the journey we are on towards our heavenly home. As Christians, we have joined a faith that is based on things we cannot see. For example, we've never seen heaven, but we have faith in Jesus's promise that He went to prepare a place for us, so we strive to be there with Him one day.

Is it any wonder that the God of a religion based on faith in the unseen would consistently ask you to test that faith and trust in Him?

In the times of darkness and uncertainty, don't focus on the fear; focus on the way His hand feels in yours. Put your mind on the tenor of the confidence in His voice. Learn to lean into those things, trusting He knows the way, and you will reach your destination safely.

Betrayal

I'm not sure you fully feel like a minister until you have experienced betrayal. You pour your body and mind into those the Lord has called you to shepherd, giving up sleep and time with your family to be there for them, only to have their head turned by whispers and lies before turning their entire body away from you. It's one of the most painful parts of ministry, yet it's also one that helps us identity more with Christ.

My mind goes to the night Jesus washed the feet of His disciples. John 13:11 tells us Jesus knew He would be betrayed by Judas. Likewise in Luke 22 we find that Jesus knew Peter would deny even knowing Him. Jesus knew these men would turn from Him, but He loved and served them anyway.

These two men offer prototypes of a couple types of mistreatment ministers will face.

Judas sold Jesus out for what his heart was really set on-money. John 12 already told us he was a thief. His actions proved he was unscrupulous. He hurts Jesus is the worst way, betraying him with a kiss. In Matthew 27 we find Judas regretted his decision, knowing he had gone too far. So he goes to return his ill-gotten gains, but he learned what we often discover too late-if you run with wicked people, they will eventually run over you! They didn't care about the anguish in Judas's heart. It all became too much and Judas hanged himself.

Peter was different. He had shown a pattern of immaturity that caused him to be emotions driven. So it shouldn't be that surprising when, faced with danger for his association to Christ, he cowered. But the book of Acts presents a new Peter. He grew up in the Spirit and became the bold leader he was supposed to be, being led by the Holy Ghost and not his feelings.

You will see both types of betrayal in ministry. You will have those like Judas who use you up only to sell you out in the end for what they really want. They will secure their spot in your intimate circle, proclaiming loyalty, only to murder you with their words in the end. The temptation will be there to use the ammunition you've collected against them, but there's no need. Just as with Judas, they will hang themselves. The type of spirit that drives this betrayal against a man or woman of God can ony be contained so long until it destroys the willing participant. They will become too bold and their words and actions will destroy their reputation without you saying a word.

You will also have those like Peter. You will see your share of emotionally and spiritually immature folks who ride the waves of their emotions. They may love you today and hate you tomorrow. They listen to lies told about you instead of coming to you for clarity. They make up their opinions based on what they feel. When you need their silence they are a distraction and when you need them to be brave they curl up in a ball in the corner. But here's the good news: when they allow the Lord to grow them up, they will be a force to be reckoned with in the Kingdom. They may never apologize for hurting you, but if your heart is right, you will take what God does through them as the ultimate vindication.

Here's the trick, no matter if you are facing being sold out or just disregarded by the emotionally stunted: love them the same. Only the sovereign God knows which is in your midst even now. No minute spent loving and leading is wasted when you do it out of faithfulness to the Lord. If they kick against God's plan, He will handle it.

New Ownership

Imagine you've purchased your first home. The early sense of excitement begins to wane as you meet your neighbors and they tell you horror stories about your residence. They confirm your earlier suspicions that the home was once a drug den as they tell of countless nights of police raids and erratic behavior from both the previous owners and their "customers". Your heart pounds a bit harder as you hear how for many months after your predecessor vacated the premises their "friends" showed up at all hours of the night, banging on all the doors on the street looking for their dealer. Then that pounding heart drops into your stomach as you remember all the letters sent to your mailbox with a return address corresponding to a prison.

The previous owners, for reasons you can only assume, left no forwarding address. Their associates think they still in your new home. 

I believe the Lord offers forgiveness and mercy for all who seek Him, and I want to show His Love to all...but if menacing folk show up at my door at 4 am where my son sleeps, I don't think I'll be interested in entertaining. 

Now, this is YOUR house. You bought it. You are in control of the activities that occur within its walls, and you aren't leaving. So what do you do?

My first instinct is a simple one; change the outward appearance of the house as much as possible. Change the color scheme. Commit to new landscaping. Replace the mailbox. Whatever change is in my power, I'm going to carry out. I want to give any sinister character who shows up enough pause that they stop and realize there's a new owner here. 

Now think for a moment: if the crowd you ran with before coming to Jesus were to see you now, would they know just from looking that the old person isn't there anymore?

It's easy to say "God looks on the heart so my appearance shouldn't matter", but have you ever stopped to think about the fact that the world DOES look on the outside? God certainly knows your heart. He knows to whom you belong. But when your outward appearance doesn't change, you are leading people to believe the same old man or woman resides in your "house", and if they believe you haven't changed, they will expect you to act as you always did. This opens the door for increased pressure and temptation. 

Following the command and receiving the promise of 1 Thessalonians 5:22-23 to, "Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." is not just about preserving your witness, it's about protecting your spirit and the work Christ has done in you. When He changes you, everything should change. Your walk, talk, attitude, and yes, perhaps even your dress should be different. 

Is it fair that we can't look or act like everyone else? I don't know, is it fair that a law-abiding home owner has to make changes to deter criminals? The point is, fair or not, if something matters to you, you will do what it takes to protect it. 

Romans 8 reminds us, "Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God." 

The process of making "new ownership" apparent requires assessment and hard work. I've been preaching for many years and following Jesus for much longer than that, and I'm still a work in progress in this area. The truth is that if you belong to God, then you aren't the new owner, He is. So seek Him. We must continually ask the Lord to do His sanctifying work in us and we must inquire of Him what our part is in this process so that people will know the old person isn't here anymore. 

Mama's Wing

The youth I lead in my local church are taking part in a discipleship program. One of the most important parts of the program is scripture memorization. We started by memorizing the entirety of Psalm 139, and have now moved on to Psalm 91. The former Psalm is all about God's love for us, how He has never taken His eye off of us since the day HE started weaving each of us in our mother's womb. The latter Psalm is about the protection God offers those who love Him and call on His Name.

Verses one through four read like this in the New Living Translation:

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High

    will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

This I declare about the Lord:

He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;

    he is my God, and I trust him.

For he will rescue you from every trap

    and protect you from deadly disease.

He will cover you with his feathers.

    He will shelter you with his wings.

Each day I recite these promises, and they never fail to make me think of my son, Kai. My four year old is as fearless as the come...in the day time, at least. But something happens at night. Suddenly, there's no such thing as "too close" to the mama he wouldn't let cuddle him hours before in the daylight. When the sun goes to bed and the rooms get dark and shadows are no longer the subject of funny imaginative stories, it's not good enough to know I'm in the house, he has to feel that I am there. Even being in the room with me won't suit. He has to press his little body against my side, until there remains not even the smallest gap between us. But he's not done yet. He pulls my arm around him and brings my hand to rest on his chest. In this position, I have one hand free to fight off any danger (real or imagined), but one hand is reserved for Kai to feel me there. 

When he started this ritual we had to have many discussions about my conditions for this arrangement. There can be no wiggling. He has to lie still beneath my hand. You see, I'm always in my bed, on my side. But for Kai to be under that hand is a choice he has to make.

Psalm 91 is FULL of amazing promises, which the passage says are our "armour and protection". But this is a conditional Psalm. The Lord offers protection in the day and night, from the trap of the enemy, malicious attacks, and even disease and calamity. BUT the choice is up to YOU if you will remain under his wing your squirm your way away from your Protector. 

Do you find yourself desperate to not only know God is there but to feel that He is? It may be time to ask yourself if you have submitted yourself to being under His hand, sheltered by His wing. No squirming. No fidgetting. No trying to figure things out on your own. Just finding your nook in His side. 

If you are tired of being afraid, restless, and anxious, ask the Lord to evaluate your heart and mind with a prayer like this:

Lord, thank You for your faithful promises. Your Word says that if I would choose to live in your shelter that I would find rest. I want to know what that feels like. I'm tired of doing it on my own. I acknowledge that You are the only one who could fully care for me and I submit to letting You do just that. Calm my anxious thoughts and teach me to rest beneath your shadow. Thank You that your Word is true, and thank You for loving me so completely. In Jesus Name, Amen.