Mary Had a Little Lamb

I've blogged about my grandmother, "Mary" Ruth McKinley in the past, but on Sunday night my dad shared publicly a story that I had only ever heard in private and I want to share it with you.

When my dad was just starting out in ministry his mother gave him a gift. It was a little stuffed animal. A lamb, to be exact. You can see it in the picture above. Perplexed as to why she would give such a gift to a grown man he asked her why she got it. She told him that she had been shopping in the Goodwill when she felt the Spirit of the Lord tell her to go to a certain bin. In this bin she found items that had very little value. Anything in the bin could be purchased for just a dime. She felt prompted to dig deep into the bin, to the very bottom, where she found this lamb. The lamb was filthy. Her fur was filled with dirt and debris that was matted into her "wool". She purchased the toy and took it home. She mixed warm water and detergent together and began cleaning the lamb. She had to be gentle, because this toy was battered and fragile. She pulled out the debris that didn't belong on the lamb. She dried it, brushed it, and brought it to her son.

My dad was clearly still confused as to why the Lord would have her go through such a strenuous process for this "throw-away" toy that no one seemed to want. But then she told him how the Lord told her to give it to him as he began his journey into ministry because this lamb was like all the people on the earth. You see, in the same way all the items in the bin cost the same price, we were all bought with the same price, the blood of Jesus. She implored him that in the same way that she had to reach to the "bottom of the barrel" for his gift, he must, as a minister reach out to the outcast of society. It is his job to reach the ones that no one else cares about, the ones who aren't good for anything anymore, lost and buried beneath heavy burdens. Then she got to the most important part. She told him that just as she had to be gentle in cleaning the lamb, we must be gentle when we help sinners get clean. Like that stuffed toy, they are battered and fragile. We can't be rough with them.

I had heard this story before, as I had seen it in every office he has ever had, but this time it struck a different chord. Since I have accepted the call into ministry I have become acutely aware of my relationship with lost people. I can't say I've done the best job at being gentle with them. I come across very brash, and matter-of-fact and I believe there is a place for that. I will never apologize for being hard on sin, but I have been too hard on sinners. As my dad told this story, I began weeping as I thought about the lost. I started thinking about how we were all bought with the same price. I'm not any better than anyone else. I'm not worth any more or any less. The same blood that bought me is available for their purchase.

Lord, forgive me for the times I have forgotten these simple truths. Let me never forget that we were bought with a price because You thought we were worth it. Thank You for loving me while I was yet a sinner, but let me remember that I'm not the only one You loved even while in sin. Give me the courage to reach for the "bottom of the barrel" and the patience to help them come clean.

IF My People

This week America faced two tragedies: the Boston Marathon bombings and the West, TX plant explosion. Suddenly social media was flooded with calls to pray for Boston, pray for West, pray for America, just pray in general. In times like this, one of the most popular verses that pops up is 2 Chronicles 7:14. What it actually says is this:

"Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land." (NLT)

Every time there is an example of evil in our land this verse gets recited, except by the time we hear it, it sounds more like this:

"If my people who are called by name will pray I will stop the evil people and restore their land." We skip over the part about humility and take this verse to say that all we have to do is pray and the bad people will be stopped. The unfortunate truth in this verse is that WE ARE the bad people. Break it down. "my people who are called by my name" is us, right? We call ourselves Christians. We literally call ourselves by the name "Christ". "turn from their wicked ways" says that we are the ones committing evil deeds. We spend so much time praying for God to stop the evil people in this world, all the while we go about sinning. As far as humility goes, Sunday morning pulpits are sadly some of the most prideful spots in America. I've sat in churches where I felt I had to watch my step so as not to trip on the names the pastor has dropped during his sermon. Ministers talk about all the important civic leaders they rub elbows with, all the great they've done, how they have single handedly saved hundreds. They preach to congregations that read more like a country club than a house of prayer, where it's about networking, not worshiping. We love to throw up pictures of bombers and shooters and say that evil is rampant in America and that the devil has a grip on our nation, but if you believe this verse, you have to realize that it's the church's responsibility to change. We can't change the world, because we are trying to be like it.

This promise that God made to Solomon, that He would "hear from heaven and forgive their sins and restore their land" came following the dedication of the temple. Solomon prayed and worshiped God and made sacrifices to Him. When his prayer was finished, fire came down from heaven and consumed the sacrifices and the presence of the Lord filled the temple and was so strong that the priest could not enter. When the people saw this, they fell on their faces and worshiped the true God. This context is important because before God can carry out his promise in verse 14, we have to do the work that happened in the preceding chapters. If we want God to heal our land, let us start in the church like this:

1. We must give God our best. When the temple was built, Solomon demanded that the best materials were used because God deserved no less. The days of leaders showing up to church unprepared must end. We have to learn the importance of preparation. The congregation must come ready to give their best. To not show up and expect that to be enough, we must come with an expectant heart ready to worship until we are exhausted, and then to push through a little more.

2. We must make sacrifices. Clearly, the people in 2 Chronicles used literal sacrifices, but God is just as serious about demanding non-animal sacrifices. We are to bring our bodies as a living sacrifice. We are to live holy lives that will honor God and provide a strong witness. We must surrender ourselves to His purpose daily, not only in the church house. We bring a sacrifice of praise in our speech and action in the church, but also at home, work, and wherever else we go. We sacrifice our finances. It is a shameful notion that we would sit in God's house and rob Him by not returning what He has given us by paying our tithes and offerings.

3. We must pray. I don't mean for five minutes so the altar call can finish and you can go eat. I mean daily, without ceasing. I mean you pray when times are bad AND good. Not the kind of prayer that is about bringing petitions, the kind that deepens your personal relationship with God because you are learning His voice. We must pray that we would bless Him instead of praying for Him to bless us, because He has already done that.

4. We must dedicate His house. We need to make it clear in our churches and our communities the purpose of God's house. It's time we spent time praying over our churches that we would remember that although it is good to socialize and fellowship with one another, that is not it's purpose. We come to church to worship corporately and to edify one another in our individual walks. We need a renewed respect for God's house. And that brings me to my last point...

5. We must respect God's presence. When the people saw the fire fall, they fell. I can't help but feel that the reason a lot of church's have stopped seeking God's presence is because they wouldn't know what to do with Him if He exhibited Himself in such a strong manner. We must remember that everything, from the moment we enter the building is meant as an invitation to the Spirit to come and change lives. When He begins to move, we must learn to reverence His Spirit, and obey Him.

If we are serious about God healing our land (whichever land you happen to be reading from) then we have to get serious about Him. We have to abandon this idea that the problem originates somewhere else. I would ask that everyone reading, especially pastors, take this call seriously. We've allowed our temples to fall in disarray and without a definitive action being taken, things will only get worse.

In Defense of Preacher's Daughters

A couple of days ago I was flipping through the channels and happened upon a new reality program called "Preacher's Daughters."  I had known of the existence of the show, and to be honest I had avoided watching because I had a feeling it was a play on stereotypes I've had to fight my whole life.

Throughout my life whenever someone would find out my dad was a minister I would promptly hear "oh, you know what they say about preacher's kids...they're wild." It's a frustrating prejudice and I really didn't feel like seeing it amplified, but I watched anyway.  I was not surprised to find the episode revolved around sex, sneaking out, and general bad behavior being contrasted against parents quoting bible verses and sending church members to check up on their daughters.  This all got me thinking about exactly why my fellow PK's have received their reputation and I would like to share my findings in an effort to explain the phenomena.

First, you have to understand the nature of a pastoral home.  To some it appears that a pastor works 1 hour a week.  The truth is, a good pastor works constantly.  They study, they counsel, they clean the church, and many unfortunately have to work extra jobs just to make ends meet.  This all on top of being "on call" 24/7.  I can't tell you how many nights our home phone rang at 2, 3, 4 in the morning because someone needed help, and my dad would be out the door to offer support.  Nor can I tell you the number of vacations that were interrupted by the needs of not only the congregation, but the congregants family and friends.  I hope you know I am not complaining, nor did I ever hear my parents complain.  I am simply speaking to the environment the pastoral family is subject to.

From my personal observations, I feel many pastor's daughters and sons act out in the same way sons and daughters of other parents who work long hours do.  Many just want attention.  They are begging for their parents to care for them.  When they see their parents constantly running to the aid of others who are in need, they feel that if they were in the same spot maybe they would run to them.  It can be incredibly difficult for ministers to draw boundaries between ministry and family time because when God calls you, He demands all of you.  In fact, as a young person heading into ministry and marriage simultaneously, this is an issue I am even struggling to resolve in my own life.  But, God created the family before He created the church.  I know it seems harsh, but I have seen too many of my fellow PK's fall away from God and the church because of the bitterness in their heart, feeling that the church and ministry caused their mother to be a figurative widow, and they became seemingly orphaned by a dad who was never around.  Is it really worth it to have the biggest, best church in town if you lose your child?

Secondly, you live under a magnifying glass.  I've heard it said you live in a fish bowl as a PK, but most days you feel more like an ant, minding your own business when some bully decides to concentrate a beam of light on your back and see what happens.  Every minor hill you climb becomes a mountain, and people can't wait to see you fail.  Most of these young people are doing the same if not far less than what their friends (yes, even their church friends) are doing, but when they do it, it is a different story.

Being raised in a pastoral home doesn't make you perfect.  No matter how well you raise your child, there is the pesky business of free will that will lead them into trouble now and then.  The truth is (in my observations) that this microscope situation doesn't create kids who stay out of trouble and spend their nights reading their bibles and leading bible studies, it creates kids who are sneaky.  It creates young people who can lie to your face and not flinch.

The final point is like unto the first two.  Living under the microscope creates young people who feel inferior.  They have the weight of their parent's ministry, and their livelihood on their back.  They feel like if they fail, everyone will know and it will hurt their family.  That's a lot of pressure to put on a teenager.  So when they mess up, and they will, and some "good church person" calls them out on it, and they will, they feel like a failure.  They feel empty and useless and alone, and they turn towards the outlets they think can ease their pain.

This post was not meant as a rebuke on absent pastors or on church members who need their help, nor was it meant to defend rebellion in young people.  This was meant to shed light in the hope that we would be more aware of how our actions effect the pastoral home.

I'm asking that you pray for your pastor's home, and in particular his (or her) children.  Until you have lived in the parsonage, you have no idea what the pressure is like.  I'm asking that you lift them up and encourage them when they do well, and to not kick them when they are down.  I'm asking that you treat them the way you would want your children treated. Show them the same grace and mercy you would expect the pastor to show your children.  Finally, I am asking that you not put the pressure of the world on their shoulders.  Let them know that they are their own person.  Their failures are their own, and not a reflection on their parents.  They do not exist merely in the shadow of the preacher.

God has something special for them and them alone, so please do all you can to help them accomplish it.