The Preacher Who Makes Tents

A few months ago as I was introduced to an interesting concept regarding bi-vocational ministers. I read a book in which the apostle Paul was called "a preacher who built tents". To be honest, I really hadn't ever thought about the fact that the bible tells us he was a tent maker (Acts 18:3) because I've always equated him with preaching and planting churches. I suppose it still wouldn't have mattered to me except that the book I was reading observed that there is a difference in "a preacher who builds tents" and "a tent maker who preaches." The author went on to equate Paul's situation with situations so many ministers find themselves in today. Often, pastors and other ministers have to work "secular" jobs in order to support either themselves or the ministry God has called them into. Many ministers don't have access to affordable health care and have to work for that reason. I've seen this in my own life as my father worked side jobs while pastoring to help make ends meet. His parents, whom I've referenced several times regarding their faithfulness to the Gospel, had to work two or three extra jobs at a time to keep the church doors open. The author was making a point that while sometimes it is necessary for a minister to bi-vocational, it is imperative to keep priorities straight. When God calls you into ministry, you do not have the option of allowing that ministry to be your "side-job".

Many of you know that I have worked full time in health care for the last 6 years. While it has been at times very rewarding, and I have been blessed to have had a job ever since college graduation when so many others were out of work, my heart has changed from where it once was. When I accepted the calling God had for me a year and a half ago, I pretty much planned on my life staying the same except that I would maybe teach once in a while or write my blogs. As time has progressed and God has opened new doors of opportunity and undoubtedly blessed this endeavor, I became less content with being a "tent maker who preaches". To continue my lifestyle and career as it has been would mean continuing to limit ministry opportunities and my effectiveness as a minister. After running for so long from what God had for me, I see now that the calling He has placed on me is precious and deserves my utmost attention. I can't afford to be distracted or to let the stress of my "tent making" bring me down mentally, physically, and eventually spiritually. 

Yesterday, I resigned my position at the company I have worked for for over 5 years. I don't know what God has for me in the future, but I know that I have heard His voice in this matter, and have felt His peace that passes all understanding even when everyone is telling me I should be worried about quitting in this economy. I can't say that I'll never have another full-time secular job, but I can say that I have learned a valuable lesson about what is important in my life. For so long I was scared of the work God had for me to do, but I now know that I should feel honored that He has allowed me to carry the Gospel and I can't let anything get in the way of that. 

Hanging On to a Hot Brick

Have you ever seen a child preparing to jump into a cool swimming pool on a hot summer day? She is fluttering with excitement. She begged her parents to take her swimming and when they arrive at the pool she can barely contain herself . After her parents spend an eternity slathering her with sunscreen she is ready to go. But then something happens. After she slips into the water, the anticipation turns to anxiety as she realizes that she has to let go of the wall to enjoy the fullness of the pool, but that means going into the unknown without a safety net. So instead of enjoying the refreshing water that her heart was so intent on, she hangs on to the hot bricks that form the pool's edge. Her dad tries to convince her that she is ready, reminding her of all the times he held onto her so she could practice and how eventually, she could do it on her own. Even though her dad tells her he'll be right there if she needs him, the child ends up scalding her hands hanging on to the thing that hurts her instead of releasing and trusting in her father's words that she is ready.

Recently, I realized that I've been doing this exact thing in my own life. I've had all these ideas about where I want to be and what I want to accomplish, but I've let fear of the unknown stop me. I've held on to the "bricks" in my life, even when I knew they are hurting me, because I was too scared of what was on the other side of fear. For too long I've let fear make my decisions instead of listening to the voice of my heavenly Father who has been there all along saying, "remember all the times I held you and kept you safe? You're ready for this, and I'll be here the whole time."

I know that fear is an emotion placed in us to keep us safe, but there is a huge difference between healthy fear and crippling anxiety. The bible tells us in Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication and thanksgiving let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  In Christ is perfect peace, when we live in a constant state of confusion and anxiety, we can know that those feelings are not from God. We are told in scripture that we can't live our lives in fear of tomorrow (Matthew 6:34). To live a life controlled by the "what ifs" is to live a faithless life.

So this brings me back to those bricks. While facing the recent battle, the Lord brought to mind an extremely vivid experience in my own life when I held onto something that was hurting me (indeed it seemed as though it was killing me), but when I finally released and trusted in Him, I received a greater joy than I could have dreamed. And remembering how He delivered me that time gives me the courage to release this time, and trust that He must have something amazing for me.

So I'm asking you to do something. You can do this in your head, but it may benefit you to actually write this one down. Think of a time you held on to a "brick" that was "burning" you because you were afraid of what may be in the deep. A "brick" could be a million different things: a dangerous relationship, a job that's harming you mentally, a friendship that leads you into spiritually compromising situations, or anything else that you know was keeping you from what God had for you. Remember the freedom you felt when you learned to trust in your Father instead of letting anxieties about the future run your life. The next time you feel those voices creep up that tell you there is nothing better for you in this world or that you are worthless, remember how faithful He has been to hold you when you let go and trusted in Him.