The PK Prayer Part:1

The stress of being the child of a minister is unlike anything else. Ours is a seemingly unfortunate fraternity of men and women, guys and girls who have seen the absolute worst of the church. Don't get me wrong, there were blessings along the way. I was raised in a home where Christ was the center of our daily lives. When there were troubles, I learned to pray and lean on the Lord. When there was happiness, I learned to rejoice in the Lord. I was taught to be generous and kind, to defend the Word and those who could not defend themselves, but mostly I learned that my life is not my own.

But I wasn't able to appreciate those great life lessons until I was an adult. It was hard to see parsonage life as a positive while I was still in it. In speaking with countless PKs and their parents I have realized this to be the case for most kids and teenagers living with a pastor. 

To my PK brothers and sisters, know that I am praying over you daily. Know that right now I am speaking against:

Hatred Towards Christians Church People

You know perhaps more than anyone that just because someone goes to church and calls them self a Christian doesn't mean they act like Christ. It doesn't take long before hypocrisy, jealousy, and gossip begin to surface, which means it doesn't take long for the PK to harbor hatred towards those who seek to hurt the pastoral family. I know, I've been there. 

It doesn't matter what those people say or do, you will be judged on your reaction. They would like nothing better than for you to stoop to their level-don't give them the satisfaction. Instead, pray that God would change their heart. 

Bitterness Towards the Church

When I was 12 years old I found out we were moving. Our leaders would not tell my family where we were going, just that come a specific Sunday morning my father's name would be announced and we were expected to comply with the announcement. Little did we know that we were being sent to the other side of the country to a state I couldn't even locate on a map. It meant leaving the only church I had known and the friends I had spent 8 years building relationships with. 

I was angry. I was bitter. I nearly hated the men who had moved us. Clearly they didn't understand what they had done. They didn't care about us at all.

I was wrong. 

I understand now that it was a great move. It developed us individually and brought us together as a family. It would have been easy to hate our leaders and by extension our church in those days, but the Lord healed me of my bitterness. 

The enemy tries desperately to place seeds of bitterness against the Church in the heart of PKs. Why? Because he wants to keep them from their destiny. Most ministers come from a ministerial home. Generally, our preachers have fathers, mothers, or grandparents who served in the church before them. If the devil can make the next generation of preachers bitter towards church, he can effectively stop ministry in many areas. 

Don't let the devil win. Realize that our leaders make decisions based on information we don't all have. It's not punishment, it's not personal. Pray for your leaders. Respect them as being placed over you for a reason. Harboring bitterness will do nothing but keep you from God's plan for you.

Hurt Towards your Parents

There was a generation of preachers who always put the church before their family. Fortunately, most modern pastors understand that God created the family BEFORE he created the church, although members don't alway see it this way. Understand your parents have to walk a fine and frustrating line. They have to uphold their biblical mandate to care for their family, yet the church demands they care for the members' families first. There is no way to win. Either they give you priority and anger the church, or they put the church first and risk losing you. I would pray that every pastor understand that if they gain everyone else in the community but their children die lost, they wasted their life's work, but I know that is easy to forget. 

Vacations, dinners, holidays rarely go as planned in the PK's life and it can be hard to see why your parents make the choices they do. I'm not asking you to like it. I'm asking you to be patient and understanding. The truth is your parents don't like broken promises either. And they probably don't like the troublesome members any more than you do. They are simply trying to do what they think is right for the people in their care-sometimes they get it wrong, but don't think for a second that the choices are easy. 

I hope that every pastor's kid (be they young or old) realizes they have an ally in me. Know that there are many who stand with you even if you don't see them everyday. Don't let the enemy tell you that you are alone. I've got your back.