A while back I shared a portion of my prayer for the children of pastors in a blog entitled, The PK Prayer Part: 1. Life got in the way and my blog has been dormant on my end. This week, however, I felt an unrelenting need to revisit the topic and post the second portion of the prayer.
In Part 1, I discussed the major hurdles we in the parsonage must over come-the hurts, the disappointments, and the bitterness that creeps into our all too often hardened hearts. I now want to share what I pray will be released into the hearts and lives of our PKs:
An eagerness to stand on your giant's shoulders
Early in my ministry I fought an unfair bias based on my name. Whenever I got invitations to preach I heard that it was because of my father's success, and that the opportunities would dry up after people heard me preach. It didn't matter that I gave up everything and went to churches no one else wanted to visit, for those who wanted to discredit me, my genealogy was an arrow to launch. It made me so uncomfortable that I figured I had to distance myself from my family to prove I could do it on my own.
That thought process shifted with the encouragement of 2 pastors. The first said it this way, "God decides which family to put you in. He made you the daughter of a great minister on purpose. If it gives you an advantage, then take it, because God gave you that advantage. In the Bible kings begat kings, and it was all in God's plan." The second pastor told me, "God places spiritual giants in your life so that you can climb atop their shoulders and see farther than they did; so that you can have greater vision than they imagined. Whether your giant is a mentor or your father, don't be scared to stand on his shoulders."
That perspective changed my mind about everything. I stopped trying to distance myself and started leaning in to my father's wisdom and knowledge. I pray that you will do the same. Within the four walls of your house is the greatest resource possible to help you grow in your walk with Jesus. Even if you don't feel called into ministry, utilize your parent/pastor as your personal bible scholar. God placed you in that family for a reason. Don't shy away, embrace the gift God has given you.
A desire to grow where you are planted
In speaking with PKs I hear a common frustration. They feel "stuck" in their church. It's one thing for the pastor to feel he has been led to a congregation, it's another for a child or teenager to echo this sentiment. I grew up in an era in which pastors were moved often. Just when a family got settled in, the call would come that the pastor's services were needed elsewhere, and the family would pull up the shallow roots they knew and start over again. Often this meant going to a church with few young people and being forced to pretend like you were totally happy about it.
I've gained a strong radar for faux-glee in the pastoral family. And I'm sorry to say I see it more often than not.
For some families, a decision will be made to allow the children to attend another fellowship. That is a decision to be made within the family and is no one else's business. You know what you need and as long as it's the best decision for your soul, I'm not going to try and discourage you. If a pastor gains the world but his child's soul is lost, nothing else matters.
However...
It is my prayer that more families work together in ministry and not go in separate directions for church. It is my prayer that you find a way to elevate the work your parents are doing. My prayer is that instead of looking around and deciding the situation is dead, you begin to speak life over the church God has led your entire family to. No, you won't always be thrilled. I wasn't always happy, but I was always where God wanted me. I pray that you will learn to be satisfied in the Will of God and where He has placed you. If you can learn to do that as a young person, you will be light-years ahead of your peers in the coming years.
A support system that loves you for you
PKs feel like we have a target on our back at all times, whether we actually do or not. As a people, we tend to be suspicious of motives. This makes us put up walls, which leaves us incredibly lonely.
I get it.
But life behind a wall is no life at all. I pray that God would send you friends who have a heart for Him and a love for you, not because of who your family is or what they can do for them, but because you are awesome and worthy of friendship. I pray that when God does send those friends that you wouldn't reject them out of fear of getting too close. When you live in a constant state of unease, just waiting for the next move, it can be easy to think the safest choice is to not build a relationship that you'll just have to give up anyway. You couldn't be more wrong. You don't need to walk through this world alone. You were never intended to.
If you need me, I'm here. I get it. I've lived it and in some ways, even as an adult, I'm still living it. I will pray for you. I will fight for you. I will see the best in you. I will encourage you. I will quietly listen to you, and I will silence those who try to tear you down. As long as I'm alive, you are not alone.
