I spent Valentine's weekend at the Tennessee Marriage Retreat in Pigeon Forge, TN. It was a wonderful weekend of fun and great resources to use in our marriage. Of special note was Saturday night's service. Toward the end of a great message by our speaker, Marsha Robinson, a woman approached the foot of the stage that operated as our altar. She asked for prayer for her son who is battling homosexuality. While I didn't know this minister's wife, my parents had known the family for many years. By my dad's account, they are good people who love the Lord and raised their children well. As we began to pray, other parents came forward who found their children or their children's spouses in the same situation.
My father began weeping as we entered into a time of intense prayer for lost children. Some were like this mother, with a gay or lesbian child, some had children lost in alcoholism or abuse. Regardless of the individual situations, a theme presented itself: sometimes good parents have children who get lost in this world. I'm sure these moms and dads spend nights crying out to the Lord asking what they did wrong. Wondering if they were too hard or too easy, if they neglected their kids or if they hovered too much leading them into rebellion.
As I have thought about those parents in the last couple of weeks, the Lord brought me to oft-quoted story of the Prodigal Son.
We all know the story. A young man goes to his father and says, basically, "you aren't dying fast enough! I want your money, not you. Now give me my inheritance." The father does what the son asks, and soon the boy is on his way. He went on his journey into the exciting world ahead. He had a great time, partying with his new found friends, but when the money ran out, so did the friends. A famine hits the land and he has to take a job slopping hogs (detestable to a Jewish boy), and even gets so hungry that he wants to eat the slop! As my pappy says it, the next verse is "the greatest compliment paid to a sinner", "when he finally came to himself" (Luke 15:17). The boy wasn't in his right mind away from his father, and neither are we.
The boy decides to return to his father and give a big speech about how he messed up and would work as a servant for his dad. Verse 20 tells us "he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long distance away, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him." Before the son can give his speech, the dad cuts him off and starts party planning!
As I was thinking about moms and dads whose children have left the father's house, I saw this passage differently. When the prodigal comes home, his father sees him from a distance. How did he see him from a distance? He must have been looking for his return. Why would he expect his return? Because the father must have known the trouble his son would encounter on his own. But even so the dad let him go. The father didn't look at his rude, selfish son and say "if you wanna go, you figure it out on your own". He didn't chase after his son who was going out into a cruel world. Instead, the father equipped him the best way he could. He gave him his treasure and blessed him. And in the end, the boy realized that his father's infinite love was more than he deserved. He felt he wasn't even "worthy to be his son." Longing for his love, the boy returns to find a father with arms open wide.
Now, back to my modern day prodigals. What can you do with a child who seems destined for destruction?
1. Give them your treasure. The greatest treasure you have is a love of God. Teach your child that no matter how far they go, God is only a prayer away. Speak the Word over them. Pray with them and over them. Don't let their wandering heart dictate your responsibility to speak life. Your child may leave regardless of what you pour into them, but would you rather them be out there alone or with a hope (even a small one) that there is a God who never leaves them?
2. Let them see what the pig trough is like. One of the hardest things to do in the face of your child's discovery of free will is to let them hit bottom. Parents want to protect their children from consequences. It's natural. It's understandable. But it's not what's best. The truth is, the dad knew it would get bad. The father had to make a choice that if ending up in a trough is what it took to break his son's rebellious heart, then it was worth it. Many young people run back to their sin over and over again, and many do so because no one has ever let them spend a couple of nights in a pig trough.
3. Watch with arms wide open. When your child returns, don't wait for the apology. Don't be stubborn. Rejoice that this "son of mine was dead and has now returned to life." (v.24) If your child died in his or her sins, you would undoubtedly give anything to hold them again, remember that when your child returns alive but battered. This isn't the time for "I told you so", this is the time for kissing over and over again.
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