What Social Media DOESN'T Prepare You For

As I look through my various social media accounts, I generally end up praying a lot. I pray for needs my friends talk about, I pray about messages I have received regarding specific requests, and I pray for friends as their lives change and they struggle to find their identity. Regardless of what I pray for, I find myself working in the same praise report, "thank you, God, that I didn't have social media when I was a teenager."

As far as I can recall, I got a Myspace account my freshman year of college and a Facebook account a few years later. Don't get me wrong, I know my 28 year old self still gets herself in plenty of trouble, so I am by no means saying this epidemic is confined to minors. The differentiation I see is this: I've actually lived a bit. I've been grown and responsible for myself for a while, so I know that there is a great big world out there that social media doesn't prepare you for. For many young people, they think that because this is their common communication mode that it is the way of the world. It is not. Here are a few things that don't match up between social media and the real world:

1. Not everyone will think you are brilliant and hilarious. One of the luxuries of social media is that you can select your audience. You surround yourself with likeminded people who think every word from your mouth is golden because they are the same words that usually come out of their mouth. In the real world, you will be surrounded by people you would have never chosen to be around. In the workplace, for instance, you will meet people who-and I know this is shocking-won't like you. True story. Even if you are the smartest kid on the block, someone will ALWAYS be smarter than you. As far as your sense of humor goes, hilarity is subjective. Your friends may love your sarcasm, but a lot of people will hear your snarky comments and think you are a jerk. Maybe you have a very innocent, non-abrasive humor, well, the sarcastic people will find you boring and irritating. The point is, don't let all those "favorites" or "likes" make you arrogant. I assure you, someone in the world will be waiting to pop that big balloon on your shoulders.

2. You can't just "unfriend" people you dislike. I see comments all the time that go something like this, "if you don't like what I have to say, then delete me." It won't always be that easy. This method of throwing away relationships every time someone doesn't agree with you is not conflict management, it's childish. Now, let me again qualify this statement by saying I have absolutely deleted people from my friends list in the past and will continue to do so for a number of reasons. Most people who have ended up on this list have gotten there by posting offensive material on my wall or have done something to hinder ministerial pursuits. This is incredibly different than erasing people from your life because they didn't agree with you or because they called you out when you were in the wrong. In the real world, you will have to learn how to get along with people whether you want to or not. Sometimes you will have to cut ties for a number of reasons, but I assure you it will be much more difficult than clicking a button.

3. There will be consequences for your drama. For most people online, the worst thing that can happen is that you lose a few friends or the trust of people who thought more of you. In the real world, it won't be tolerated. Your employer won't stand for it. Your family will probably grow tired of it quickly. You may think it's funny or cute to keep people upset all the time, but no one else finds joy in it (unless they are the same as you, in which case, watch your back because I wouldn't trust anyone who behaves like that.) People find great freedom behind a computer screen, especially when they can maintain anonymity. They become cowards, taking shots at people that they would never have the guts to say to their face. Your bullying and backstabbing will leave you alone and untrustworthy. It's not worth it.

Do I have this all figured out? No. But at some point young (and some old) people will wake up in a brave new world only to find that the character (or lack there of) they have spent years refining failed them.