Children come into this world through all manner of circumstances. Sometimes pregnancies are planned. Perhaps a couple had been married for many years and just couldn't see their life as complete without a little life being added. Maybe a family struggled to conceive naturally and they turned to science to give their body a "boost" in the fertility department. Maybe a husband and wife ran out of options and adopted a child. Though this child isn't biologically theirs, their son or daughter was born in their heart long ago. In all these situations, the word most often used to describe their bundle of joy is "miracle". And that is no over exaggeration. When you think of all the hurdles that have to be crossed in order for conception to occur, miracle is the only word for that process.
There is a second type of conception. We jut talked about the planned (in some cases "ultra-planned") pregnancy, but not all pregnancies happen this way. Sometimes babies are born to unexpected, unprepared young people. These are the ones who "got caught" doing what the vast majority of their peers were doing. Sometimes babies are born to young professionals, just getting their feet under them, thinking they have the world in their hand, when one day a condom fails or they forget their pill and suddenly life changes. Maybe a baby has been born to a married couple who just "wasn't ready yet" for a baby, but for whatever reason they found themselves plus 1. Unfortunately, these miracles are often mislabeled as "mistakes".
I've heard parents throw that word around like it has no consequences. They use it as the running joke in the family. What they don't understand is that their child doesn't differentiate the situation from the people involved. Said another way, to the child, the parents' miscalculation is not the running joke, the child is. When a joke hurts someone, it's no longer a joke. Being called a mistake hurts, whether you are 5, 25, or 50. You feel unwanted, unloved, and worthless. The fallout can last a lifetime.
Perhaps the most painful thing to watch is a family in which parents view some of their offspring as miracles and some as "mistakes". I've watched it over and over again. If a parent were searching for a way to send sibling rivalry through the roof, this is how you do it. The "wanted" child is treated like a genius. They are called beautiful or talented. The "unwanted" child can't really be called a disappointment because not much was ever expected of them. These actions of parents have far reaching consequences. After all, if your parent doesn't even want you, who else will? The seeds of deception that say an unplanned child is unworthy grow and grow like a weed that will choke out relationships, marriages, careers, and even faith in God. It's not a joke.
Regardless of the situation in which a child was conceived, it is not their fault. A child is not a punishment for sin or poor judgement. Treating them as if they were a Scarlett letter for which a parent should be ashamed is unfair. That child is not a mark on the parent for life, but the parent's comments could easily put a mark on the child for eternity. It doesn't matter why they came into the world when or how they did, God has a plan and a purpose for them. Remember what David said in Psalm 139 in His psalm to the Lord:
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed."
This passage tells me a few things about EVERY child that is important:
1. Babies are created by God, not man. When an unexpected child hears "I made a mistake" in reference to their conception, the child actually hears "You are the mistake I made". No child is a mistake. Ever. Children are not created by sex, they are made by the hand of God, and God doesn't make mistakes.
2. Unborn children are under the watchful eye of their Creator long before they are born. Not only are children (no matter their start) so precious to God that He would form them Himself, He loves them enough to never take His eye off of them as they grow. I think about my excitement as I had my first ultrasound. My husband and mother were with me as we watched our tiny baby swim around on the monitor. Our gaze couldn't be broken. When it was over and the Nurse Practitioner said the baby was beautiful my husband responded "I'm a good artist." That must be how our Father God views unborn children. He watches their development, seeing all their beauty in spite of their situation, and says "I'm a good artist."
3. God has a plan regardless of how the child was conceived. Every day of a child's life is mapped out in God's book. Before they can make any choices on their own, either right or wrong, God knows exactly what they will be. Not only can He see this miracle growing, He can see every day of their life until their life will come to an end. Now you tell me, why would the God of the universe spend His time watching and planning for that child if He saw it as anything other than a miracle?
All life is precious. All life comes from God. It's time we start acting like we realize that fact.
No comments:
Post a Comment