Lord of the Rings

The above photo tells the story of my love life in four rings. I'm sure most people look at these and see nothing special, but each and every one tells me where I came from and what God has shown me now that I'm on this side of the story.

This is the story of the love life of Lindsey McKinley Schreiber:

Ring #1: True Love Waits

I was given this ring on my 17th birthday by my parents. At the time, it was all the rage to wear one of these. Inside the small velvet ring box came a card containing a pledge that was to be signed promising the wearer would remain a virgin until marriage. I had every intention of keeping that pledge. It wasn't just a piece of jewelry, I truly thought it would be a reminder of who I am, where I came from, and where God would take me. Then life happened. At some point that pledge became less important than companionship. My oath took a back seat to my desire to be loved, and I made choices that left me feeling alone, empty, used up, and worthless. Hear me correctly, I was not those things, but I felt like I was. 

Now that I look back at this ring, I see a broken promise. But I also see an important lesson: what's on the outside doesn't matter if your heart isn't right. I kept wearing my TLW ring long after I had broken my promise just to keep up appearances. This ring now reminds me of Jesus's warning to the pharisees in Matthew 23 when He tells them, "You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness." That was me. I wore the ring to appear righteous, but on the inside I was living an unclean life. 

I felt so hopeless after I messed up. I thought no one would ever want me. No good guy would want to marry now. I was damaged goods, I may as well keep sinning like I was already doing because I didn't deserve better. 

But then I met Andy. He was kind, loving, understanding, and to my shock-a virgin. I told him quite early in our relationship of my past sins. I expected him to leave, but he didn't. Instead he affirmed to me that I wasn't that girl anymore. He really believed that when I asked God to forgive me and turned from that life that I became a virgin again. I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever heard...yet it was exactly what I needed to hear. Our first Christmas together, we gave each other another special ring...

Ring #2: I Am My Beloved's

This ring has an etching in Hebrew of Song of Solomon 6:3, "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." This ring was a new beginning. This was a reminder to each of us that we belong to whomever God had for us. It also acknowledged that we may not be the end game for one another. We both accepted that we may not end up getting married and that we may have a different spouse intended for us. So out of respect for one another and for whomever we would each marry, we would keep our relationship pure. This was a fresh start.

I already knew from the TLW's debacle that this would be nothing but a piece of jewelry if we didn't really turn our hearts towards God's word and desires for us. This time it was different. I went into this new relationship as a new creature. This time it wasn't about showing how righteous I was, it was about showing how good God was to give me another chance.  By the next Christmas I would receive another ring...

Ring #3: Engagement Ring

Andy and I had discussed marriage for a while, but in my heart I found it so hard to believe that this wonderful creature would want me for life. In past relationships I had my self-esteem ripped to shreds as boyfriends led me to believe we were headed toward the altar only to change their story by the next day. The idea that a man actually loved me enough to save and plan and even scheme with my friends to give me an amazing proposal blew my mind. 

This ring was a promise that he would care for me for eternity. He wasn't going to walk away when things got tough. He was going to do whatever it took to see me happy. With this ring, God used Andy to show me that not all men are the same. Not all guys drag you through the mud. Not all guys call you ugly or fat to make themselves feel better. Not all guys lie or cheat or allow people to tear you down. 

And that gorgeous ring led to one more...

Ring #4: Wedding Ring

This final ring brought with it the knowledge that where I started didn't have to dictate where I ended. The sins committed with Ring #1 on my finger didn't decide where my story would end. If you would have told me when I was 17, signing that pledge that I wouldn't marry my first "love" (I was really messed up on what that word meant), that I would mess up really badly, that I would wait for years on a ring that wasn't coming, and that I would end up becoming a cougar and marry a younger, gorgeous, Asian man, have a baby the next year and use my story to help other girls, I would've laughed at you. But that's what happened. 

Throughout the story told through my rings, I see God's sovereignty. He knew at every step what would happen next. He didn't make me make poor decisions, but He knew what I would choose. Even when that wedding ring was slipped on my finger, He knew what NO ONE knew, that a teething ring would be the next on the list. 

Throughout it all, He has been the Lord of my story, the Lord of the rings.