Why I Won't "Keep My Mouth Shut"

A little over a year ago my husband was attacked for something I had said on my Facebook page. I had written something regarding churches that justify premarital cohabitation. A friend became so enraged by my words that he went to my then fiancé and told him "you better tell Lindsey to keep her (bleep) mouth shut.

Here's a little background on this attack: He had up until then (and even afterward) claimed that he "loves me like a daughter." This person claims to be not only a Christian, but a minister as well. What are his reasons for wanting to shut me up? Maybe he doesn't like strong women. Maybe he doesn't like women preachers. Maybe he just really doesn't like the bible.

At the time I did what I thought was best. I blocked this person from seeing what I write. I can handle criticism, but I figured if he was going to be so angry with the truth that he took it out on my loved ones that it was best to remove that temptation.

We moved on.

He never said anything to me about what had happened and I never brought it up. We saw each other several times and were cordial to one another.

This situation came to my remembrance this week when it was brought to my attention that this same person had been spreading pretty malicious lies about me. I prayed about it and felt I needed to go to him as the bible instructs. I kindly asked what was going on and if the rumors were true that he had been talking about me. Long story short, the conversation disintegrated, and yet again he turned to my husband instead of dealing with me.

During the course of the conversation with my husband he repeated his sentiment from last year, that "Lindsey needs to learn to keep her mouth shut." When Andy explained that I share what God gives me and that it is all part of ministry, this person again said "no, even in ministry, she needs to learn to shut up."

Because of this cowardly and unbiblical approach of not speaking to me directly, I couldn't explain why keeping my mouth shut wasn't going to happen. I am not stupid. I know I'm brash. I know I'm straight forward. God created me this way on purpose for a purpose. He also created me smart enough to know this is not the only person to wonder why I won't just shut up, so let me share with you the reasons:

1. I was silent for too long. I spent years doing what most of us do, turning my head the other way. In that time I watched as people who were pacified in their sins lived and died never being told the truth, even when the perfect opportunity came to present it. I will not let it be said that I excused sin when confronted with the chance to make a difference.

2. I know my place. I spent the majority of my life into my twenties lost and confused on where I belonged in this world. That confusion ended in September of 2011 when I preached my first sermon. As I stood in that pulpit, I knew beyond a doubt that preaching is what I was created to do. There is a running joke amongst friends and family that I'm John the Baptist, but that's really who I relate to. I have to say the things no one else will because that's what God called me to do. Do I want to be the disgusting loner in the desert? Not really. But I'd rather be preparing the way looking like a maniac than be silent and deny what God called me to do.

3. God speaks for me. I used to type much faster. I used to text much faster. I used to talk much faster. My response time has definitely slowed because I've learned (and am still learning) the importance of my words being His words. If I write something, be it in a blog or elsewhere, you can be sure that I have 1. prayed about it 2. waited on the Lord to approve it 3. re-written it at least 10 times. I'm not perfect. I've flown off the handle before. I've let foolish debate entangle me. But I have done my best to improve in this area. I don't say things I can't back up and I don't engage in religious conversation that I can't back up with the bible. I may talk a lot, but if you knew all the stuff that's in my brain that gets filtered, you'd think that I not only have a big mouth, you'd think I have an even bigger brain!

4. Meriam Ibrahim. Don't know that name? Well, you should. She's an eight month pregnant Christian Sudanese woman who will be hanged for the crime of "apostasy". Prior to her hanging, she will receive 100 lashes for adultery, because her marriage to a Christian man is not recognized by sharia law. She is 27 years old. 1 year younger than me. I have to speak out, because she can't. I have to proclaim the truth because Meriam reminds me that this is a privilege denied in a major part of the world. I won't take this for granted.

5. You. As I review the stats of this blog, my heart burst with praise to God for where He has carried it. I have a book called Operation World that list statistics and prayer points for nations around the world. Every time the blog is accessed from a new country, I read up on what's going on there. The Lord has used this blog to bring His Word into many countries in which Christianity is either prohibited or severely restricted. I want you to know, particularly those viewing in restricted nations, that I pray for you often. I hope that something I say brings help and hope. I love you immensely.

So there you have it. I won't keep my mouth shut because I can't. I'm going to use this big mouth as much as I can for as long as I can. And, as the song says, "when they tell me it's my time to go/I will not go quietly".