In our final segment on marriage, I wanted to address exactly why conversation on this topic is needed in the church to begin with. Before Andy and I married (or were even engaged for that matter), I took an incredible amount of time to research marriage. I wanted to understand why it was important and be prepared for the attacks that I knew could be a problem. I consulted ministers and people who I knew had long, successful, godly marriages. I read books. I completed workbooks. I found every article on the matter. But most importantly, I went to the Word. In all of my research I found some hard truths about the disparity between the Word of God and our culture and how that is impacting our marriages:
1. God created specific gender roles which society has tried to blur. Androgyny in pop culture is nothing new, but it's prevalence in modern day society is unprecedented. It's everywhere; in music, on television, and in the closets of young people across America. Now, please know that I am not trying to condemn people for their wardrobe. What I am saying is that the acceptance of the androgyny look has opened the door for social acceptance of all manner of lifestyle that is opposed to the Word of God. It has become normal to see young men in girl's clothes and vice versa to an extent that we don't even flinch at the unisex appearance. We have become accustomed to it. Again, please know my heart. I'm not saying you are going to hell for wearing skinny jeans or that women have to wear dresses everyday to go to heaven! I am saying that we should think about this consequence seriously.
2. We have knowingly crossed the gender lines. Secondary to the above comment, there has been a shift in what is expected of ladies and gentlemen. In an attempt to gain equal footing with men in the world, women have sacrificed their femininity. We have knowingly decided to give up our God given "differentness". Acting like a lady has become antiquated. This is why we see young women so over-sexualized. They are giving up all they have for perceived "power", but that is an upcoming blog so I won't harp on it. In this same manner, men have become effeminate. Those who know my husband know that I did not marry Willie Robertson by any means. He is not a burley outdoorsman and is kind, thoughtful, and even sensitive. But he also knows that he is the man of our house. He knows that he has duties to fulfill and that he is our provider in every sense of the word. When God created man and woman, he did so in different manners. He did not create them the same. Likewise, we are not created to be the same, we have specific roles to carry out.
3. We have lost the importance of being "one" with our spouse. One of my all time favorite movies is "Coal Miner's Daughter". It is a biopic about Loretta Lynn. At one point in the movie she and her husband have to move far from her parents in order to find work. In the course of the discussion she let's her husband know she doesn't want to leave her daddy. He responds "Darlin' you're goin' to have to decide if you're my wife or his daughter." Sounds harsh, doesn't it. It's unfortunately the truth. I love my dad more than life itself. He taught me nearly everything I know and showed me what kind of man I needed to marry. I'd hate to live life without him, but my parents made it clear to me that once I married, my alliance was to be with Andy. As many of my [young] friends have married, I've watched as they refused to make this switch. They allow their families to have too much influence in their life as a couple. They muddy the waters by relying on their respective families for support of all types and then, when issues arise [which they will], they have to pick a side and someone will suffer for it. There is a reason the bible tells us "a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." (Genesis 2:24) As I have discussed at length, your marriage is one body comprised of you and your spouse. The bible doesn't say, "the bride's parents will be the arms providing finances" or "the groom's parents will be the legs taking them where they should go". Of course, I'm not saying you are to abandon family once you marry, but you have to be clear that you and your spouse have formed your own family, and that is where your allegiance and dependence lies.
We so often discuss Satan's attack on marriage. But the truth is, the seeds of discontentment in marriage are sown long before we become husband and wife. Our culture's disconnect with what God demands in a marriage actually starts with our disconnect with what He demands of us as men and women. I know much of what I have written seems hard and I honestly don't know how it will be taken. All I know is that these things are on my heart for a reason, and I pray that you take them with the heart they were intended in.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
Marriage Part2:Love
I previously reported my findings on the wife's job in a marriage, as found in Ephesians 5. I discussed in Part 1 of this series (view here) how the word "submission" has been widely misused. This misuse is not my only issue with teachings on this passage. Far too often, I have heard the first half of this command quoted while the second half (addressing the husband's role) has been omitted.
Verses 25-30 tell us: "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body."
So this begs the question, "how did Christ love the church?"
1. He loved in humility. Christ birth, life, and death were all carried out in humility. Philippians 2 beautifully explains this when it says, "Though He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, He gave up His divine privileges He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When He appeared in human form, He humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross." Likewise, the husband, must serve his wife in humility. Society often teaches young men that they are in charge. They must show strength. This often leads them to "lord over" those they consider weak. This is not the example Christ gave us. This will not lead to a successful marriage.
2. He made her holy. To be holy is to be "sacred", "set apart", "different". So many marital issues arise from the loss of this principle. It should not be that we view our spouse as replaceable. It should not be said that you could get any woman off the street and she would work just as well as the wife you have. I'll go further than that-your wife shouldn't FEEL like you WOULD pick any woman to take her place. Every night before we go to bed, my husband and I tell each other something unique we loved about each other that day. We do this because we don't want each other to ever think that they are replaceable. There was something that made your wife special when you chose to marry her instead of someone else. Don't forget that-and don't let her forget that either.
While I'm discussing the "sacredness" of marriage, I must say this: Your vows made to each other before God are sacred and personal. As such, there is no room for a third party, either physically or emotionally. I venture to say the majority of people who have cheated on their spouse didn't set out to do so. It starts with a listening ear. Someone who understands you when your wife doesn't (by the way, your wife is your flesh, if she doesn't understand you, then you have equal ownership in figuring out the problem ALONGSIDE HER). In fact, some studies suggest that as many as 80% of affairs begin with a friendship that went too far. DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR. If you are married, you have no business discussing your marital issues without your spouse's consent (and that is for the purpose counseling). You particularly have no business talking about it with the opposite sex. If you are single and reading this, you have a responsibility to not offer that "shoulder to cry on". You may say "I didn't make any vows". That may be true, but someday you might, and how would you feel if you were in that situation later on. (I'll get off my soapbox now)
3. He cleansed her with the Word. Husbands, you have a responsibility as the spiritual head of your house to make sure that the Word of God is spoken and lived out. Help your wife become the most godly woman possible. Encourage her place her trust in God above all else, and lead her into righteousness.
This passage further instructs the husband to love his wife as he loves his own body. That is to say "love unselfishly". When you got married, you made a choice to place someone else's needs, wants, and desires above your own. She is not an after thought. Take care of her. Love her. Devote yourself to her alone.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
The Field
Last night I wrote on my facebook page that I would deviate from my marriage series today because I have a big announcement. Of course off the bat some guessed that I was pregnant. Some thought I may be announcing that I had taken on a pastorate. One suggested I was changing my hair. All will be revealed soon enough, but first a story. (Yes, I blog baited some, but it will be worth it.)
I was preaching at a small church in Nashville right after I had returned from my honeymoon. As I preached about how we have to get up from our tables where we are being fed and go serve those around us, my attention was drawn outside the church. As I looked down the aisle and out the back door, I noticed the neighborhood was bustling with activity. This church is not like the big, fancy churches right on the main drag in town. It is located in the middle of a small, but very crowded, community. I couldn't even focus on the handful of people I was supposed to be addressing, because my mind was caught up in the possibilities beneath the shadow of the church house.
My mind went to Matthew 9:35-38: "Jesus traveled through all the towns and villages of that area, teaching in the synagogues and announcing the Good News about the Kingdom. And He healed every kind of disease and illness. When He saw the crowds, He had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. He said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.”
This particular church is going through a time of transition. I had multiple conversations with the interim pastor regarding the needs of the church and community. While I felt compassion for their situations, I also had excuses. I've never done what I was asked to undertake. I'm still trying to figure out where I'm going and establish myself in ministry. I also talked myself into believing that I really had no skills at all and would be dead weight to any ministry team. It got way out of hand. Until one night the Lord spoke to me clearly...
I am generally going at turbo speed. I struggle to sleep because my mind won't shut off and then I wake up early ready to get idea to paper. I have no "slow speed". If my eyes are open, my mind is trapped in a continual conversation with myself. So it makes sense that in the last year my answers have come often in the form of dreams. Clearly, the Lord has to wait until I shut up so I can hear Him! Before you dismiss me as flaky, please remember I am not a hyper-spiritual person who goes around seeing God in every gust of wind. But in the last year as my spiritual walk has grown deeper through prayer, fasting, and bible study, the Lord has given me answers, revelations, and even warnings (that have already proven true) through this mode. I haven't shared the dreams with you before, because they were between me and God, but I feel an urgency to tell you about this one.
I dreamt that I was living in the community I am discussing. In my dream, a young man came in through my front door. I began yelling and sent him away. I locked the door back, and it opened again! This time, it was a young woman with 2 elderly women and I again tried to kick them out. She begged to stay because they were sick. I allowed it, and locked the door again. Once again, the door opened, this time I found a young mother and her son. When I told her to get out of my house she said, "please, we don't have anywhere else to go." I allowed her to stay, and then to my horror, the first man returned!
I couldn't believe all these people came barging in to my nice, clean, quiet home with all their troubles! The old women would probably bring in diseases and the kid would probably break everything, and that guy was surely up to no good and was more than likely going to rob me blind! I was infuriated! I left to find out what was wrong with my lock, and as I did, I passed through a huge room. In the room were lots of people, playing games. In the middle of the room I saw people overseeing what was going on. Not involved, not talking to these people, just standing the center of the room, congregating with one another. One said something to me, but I was so mad that they were playing games while sick people were potentially dying on my clean carpet that I walked by without acknowledging him! The dream ended with my being told that it wasn't a lock issue. That this would be my lot in life at least for a while.
Now, some of you are saying "that's just your subconscious working things out". You don't have to believe me that this dream came from God, but knowing the burden I had when I awoke from it, I have no choice but to believe.
I instantly began praying for God to give me wisdom regarding the dream. He spoke very plainly to me. He told me that there are people in that community who are hurting and have no where to go. Many have been abandoned by Christians and even so-called ministers (of several churches in town) who spent their time "playing games" and trying to be the center of attention. He left me with a choice. I could be just another preacher who talks about love and humility and compassion but shuts people out and lets them die on my doorstep, or I could open the door, let the mess in, and try to make an actual difference.
I chose the latter.
After much prayer, thought, and conversation, Andy and I have decided to join the ministry team at the Old Hickory Church of God of Prophecy. While I will continue to travel and preach on Sundays, I will be working with the youth of this community, as well as assisting in teaching.
We are excited to see where this new venture will take us. We are believing that this is God ordained and that this is a time for development not only for the church, but for us as well.
For those of you who thought I was going to announce that I'm becoming a mom, you were sort of right I suppose. Except, by the grace of God, we will hopefully be gaining LOTS of other people's kids, not just one of our own!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Marriage Part1:Hupotasso
Last Sunday I was honored and privileged to minister at New Beginnings Worship Center in Somerset, KY. This was my first sermon outside of my home state of Tennessee, which meant it was also my first sermon to a group of total strangers. The pastor had invited me after reading my blog "why I washed my husbands feet" in which I discussed my desire to live out Ephesians 5:21-30, in which we are told how to conduct ourselves in marriage. He asked me to participate in their month dedicated to families, so I decided to share my feelings on marriage and how our culture has made it almost impossible (without God's help) to carry out this passage. Of course, only being married for a couple of months, I did not take on this topic as a "marriage expert" but rather as an anomaly. Most women my age are vehemently opposed to the word "submission" and nearly everyone my age is against the words "servanthood" and "humility". Instead of giving a "this is how to be married" speech, I investigated the actual passage and reported my findings.
The part of this passage that was at one point so often referenced (and used incorrectly I might add), is found in verses 22-24. It states, "You wives submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of His body, the church; He gave His life to be her savior. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything."
My entire life, that word "submit" was painted to mean "bow down to your husband and give in to everything he says." That's not what it means at all. The Greek word for "submit" in this passage was actually the word "hupotasso". The definition of the word hupotasso is “a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, carrying a burden.” Some even describe it “to get under and lift up”. A little different, isn't it? This isn't the same word as "obey" found in passages relating to a parent-child relationship, it is a matter of supporting one's husband.
One of my favorite lines from the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" comes courtesy of the bride's mother. She says, "The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants." It's a funny idea, but can we think about it in the context of the role of the wife?
The jobs of the human neck are as follows:
1. It supports the head. It keeps the head going in the right direction.
2. The curvature of the neck acts as a "shock absorber", it softens the blows.
3. It protects the nervous system. When the nervous system is attacked, the body cannot heal itself.
So how can we use this to understand the wife's role? What is she called to do in a marriage?
1. She must support her husband. Isn't it interesting that one definition of hupotasso was "to get under and lift up"? That's what the human neck is to the head, and that's what a wife MUST be to her husband. It is my job as a wife to lift him up so he can be the best man possible. In the way the neck keeps your head going in the right direction, so we must help our husbands keep moving in the right direction. We are to encourage them to keep moving on to the promises of God, and not look back at the past.
2. She is a "shock absorber". Again, I am struck by the alignment of this job and the above definition. Hupotasso calls us to "carry a burden". I am reminded of Galatians 6:2 where we are told to "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Who better to carry your burdens than someone who is your own flesh?
3. She must protect her husband. We must recognize that because we are of one flesh, an attack on one of us is an attack on both of us, be it internal or external. When we tear our spouse down to their face or behind it, we are attacking our own flesh! When we allow someone else to speak poorly of our husband, we are allowing them to speak poorly about us! The job of the nervous system in the human body is to communicate so that the body can carry out its necessary functions and heal itself. In marriage, when we cease to protect one another and attacks get through, our marital "nervous system" fails. Communication breaks down, and once that breaks down, hurts go unhealed.
It is not my job to live under my husband's thumb, but it is my job to lift him up. That's what God has called for, that's the key for my success as a wife.
Men, you aren't getting a pass on this one. Keep an eye out in the coming days for Part 2 relating to the responsibilities of the husband.
Pastors and church leaders: If you would like for me to come and share this message or any other with your church, young adults, ladies group, or youth groups, please contact me via the contact form found on the right hand column of this blog for available dates. Thank you!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
I Shall Live and Not Die
Drew had many visitors from the church and his tight knit community. Everyone was pulling together and social media was showered with "stay strong drew" posts. One of his many visitors is pictured here. That's my dad, Bishop E.C. McKinley, praying for him. I knew he had gone to visit Drew, but hadn't heard much beyond that about his visit until a few weeks ago.
I preached at Crossroads last month. When I looked over the congregation during the altar call, someone in particular caught my eye and made me do a double take. It was Drew, standing head and shoulders above the crowd. Yes, you read that right, he was STANDING. As handsome and "normal" a young man as you've ever seen. After the service I walked back to speak with him and his family. He was funny, sweet, and incredibly witty. Drew started telling my husband of how God used that accident to get his attention. How he had been struggling in his walk with God, and how that day changed everything.
Drew's mom told me about the day my dad came to the hospital to pray and about the picture she had (above). She told me how much it meant to them that he took time to come visit. The next time I saw my dad I told him about how great Drew is doing and how his mom still remembered his visit. He said, "did she tell you what I prayed?" I didn't recall hearing, so I asked. He said, "I prayed 'you shall live and not die'", a variation of Psalm 118:17 which says, "I will not die, but I will live to tell what the Lord has done." Clearly, Drew is living proof that his prayer, along with countless others, was answered. Drew most certainly has life and he is telling what the LORD has done!
That scripture has been running rampant through my mind this past month. I received a medical report that left me shaken. I was told that an issue, caused be some matters in my control and some outside of it, would decrease not only my quality of life, but my life expectancy as well. There had been a time in my life when I would have just accepted those words being spoken over me, but I have found that I have too much to say and do for the Lord to just lie down and die.
Growing up, whenever I had some tinge of pain, I would be sure that it was some deadly disease and I was done for. My dad would lecture me on the power of our words and he would always quote Psalm 118:17 and I would roll my eyes. I would like to publicly apologize, pappy, you were right. Life and death are most certainly in the tongue, Drew's story has taught me that. When he physically couldn't speak life, those around him spoke it on his behalf-and it worked. If Drew and his community could have faith when he was in this horrible state, then I have no excuse to not speak life over my body!
So I've decided that death is not on my agenda for right now. I am doing everything on my end to get healthy, but I am putting my faith in the One who created every cell of my body. I have places to be and people to minister to. Until He is done with me, I shall life and not die!
Monday, October 14, 2013
The Pendulum of Faith: Part 2 of 2
Last week I wrote an entry about the word of faith movement. In the preface I asked that readers view both parts of this discussion before forming their opinions on my position. Please, if you haven't yet, read part 1 here, as it is the companion piece to the blog you are now reading.
I could never be accused of being a "name it and claim it" kind of gal. Like many, I have often equated this tactic with materialism and found it counter to the Word. Sadly, I fear I have at times been found on the other side of the pendulum of faith, having no faith at all. For some reason, we find it hard to find our center, that place where we have faith in God, but understand that while some things are out of His will, they are never out of His control.
For too long, I have struggled with having deep faith in God's ability, because faith left too much room for disappointment. I didn't want to be the fool who said boldly, "God will heal me", because what if He didn't? What if in His sovreignty He decided to let me live in my infirmities?
Let me be clear, I believe in divine healing. I have seen it, I have even experienced it. While in my mother's womb, my mother suffered severe complications, and the doctors told her she would miscarry. She had been on bed rest for a month and in the hospital for a few days for her own health, as the doctors told her the chances of my survival were little more than zero.
She saw only one way around my inevitable demise. Our church's biannual General Assembly was coming up. One of the most important and looked-forward to services was (and still is) the healing service. Men and women would line up, full of faith, for the men and women of God to lay hands on them.
My mother was convinced that if Harper Hunter prayed for her, she would be healed. That was her hope. That was her only hope. She didn't think this man had some sort of mystical power, but she knew that he was filled with the Spirit. To her, this man was the modern-day representation of the hem of Jesus's garment. If she could just get to him, the Spirit in him would cure her and give me a fighting chance.
So she left her bed, against doctor's orders, to travel from Indiana to Cleveland, TN. When the time came for prayer, she knew what had to be done. She fought through the crowds to make sure she got in Brother Hunter's line. When he came by, he prayed "God heal her." My mother's reaction was what most of us would have thought, "I did all this, and that's ALL he said?"
The truth is his word's didn't matter. It was her faith, her perseverance, her fight that made her (and me) whole! When she returned home, she didn't go back to bed. She not only carried me to term, I was two weeks late! As my mom says it, "that's proof that God is more than enough!"
What if she had said "it's foolish to believe in divine healing. I'm not going against doctor's orders on the off-chance that God will heal me. I'm not going to push through, I'm not going to believe because it will hurt too much if I'm wrong"? I wouldn't be here, that's what would have happened! Imagine the pressure faith put on her. If the prayer didn't work and I had died, she would have been blamed and blamed herself for going against what man told her to do, even though man didn't give me a chance at all. But see, that's the point, faith steps in when you have no other option but to have faith!
Maybe this is the true root of my issue with people who say "God wants you to prosper, so have faith and you'll get a new car!" That's not what faith is for! Faith is for when you have nothing left. When your options have run out, that's when you learn what faith is about. In this moment, God is stretching my ability to believe in His provision. I don't have the time to tell you all the ways He has shown up just in time for me in the last 6 months. Just know that with every arrival of His grace and provision, my faith has grown.
Hebrews 11:1 asks an important question and then answers it when it says, "What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. God gave His approval to people in the days of old because of their faith." The chapter goes on to tell the stories of men and women who God used because of their faith. The interesting thing is what happens in the end to the members of this "hall of faith". Verses 33 through 40 tells us:
"By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, quenched the flames of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight. Women received their loved ones back again from death. But others were tortured, refusing to turn from God in order to be set free. They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. Some were jeered at, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in prisons. Some died by stoning, some were sawed in half,and others were killed with the sword. Some went about wearing skins of sheep and goats, destitute and oppressed and mistreated. They were too good for this world, wandering over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground. All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised."
Can't you see? Faith isn't about what you get in the end, so your faith can't be dependent on whether your not you receive on earth what you desire! Some of these men and women were rewarded and revered, but some suffered. There is not a distinction made that says the ones who triumphed here on earth had more faith! Faith is not about what you get, it is about your relationship with God and your "good reputation" (read:witness) to those on earth.
So I'm begging you, don't do what I did. Don't abandon faith because the term is so often misused or because you fear the "what ifs". Realize now that faith is your only option, because when your options are gone, faith is all that remains.
I could never be accused of being a "name it and claim it" kind of gal. Like many, I have often equated this tactic with materialism and found it counter to the Word. Sadly, I fear I have at times been found on the other side of the pendulum of faith, having no faith at all. For some reason, we find it hard to find our center, that place where we have faith in God, but understand that while some things are out of His will, they are never out of His control.
For too long, I have struggled with having deep faith in God's ability, because faith left too much room for disappointment. I didn't want to be the fool who said boldly, "God will heal me", because what if He didn't? What if in His sovreignty He decided to let me live in my infirmities?
Let me be clear, I believe in divine healing. I have seen it, I have even experienced it. While in my mother's womb, my mother suffered severe complications, and the doctors told her she would miscarry. She had been on bed rest for a month and in the hospital for a few days for her own health, as the doctors told her the chances of my survival were little more than zero.
She saw only one way around my inevitable demise. Our church's biannual General Assembly was coming up. One of the most important and looked-forward to services was (and still is) the healing service. Men and women would line up, full of faith, for the men and women of God to lay hands on them.
My mother was convinced that if Harper Hunter prayed for her, she would be healed. That was her hope. That was her only hope. She didn't think this man had some sort of mystical power, but she knew that he was filled with the Spirit. To her, this man was the modern-day representation of the hem of Jesus's garment. If she could just get to him, the Spirit in him would cure her and give me a fighting chance.
So she left her bed, against doctor's orders, to travel from Indiana to Cleveland, TN. When the time came for prayer, she knew what had to be done. She fought through the crowds to make sure she got in Brother Hunter's line. When he came by, he prayed "God heal her." My mother's reaction was what most of us would have thought, "I did all this, and that's ALL he said?"
The truth is his word's didn't matter. It was her faith, her perseverance, her fight that made her (and me) whole! When she returned home, she didn't go back to bed. She not only carried me to term, I was two weeks late! As my mom says it, "that's proof that God is more than enough!"
What if she had said "it's foolish to believe in divine healing. I'm not going against doctor's orders on the off-chance that God will heal me. I'm not going to push through, I'm not going to believe because it will hurt too much if I'm wrong"? I wouldn't be here, that's what would have happened! Imagine the pressure faith put on her. If the prayer didn't work and I had died, she would have been blamed and blamed herself for going against what man told her to do, even though man didn't give me a chance at all. But see, that's the point, faith steps in when you have no other option but to have faith!
Maybe this is the true root of my issue with people who say "God wants you to prosper, so have faith and you'll get a new car!" That's not what faith is for! Faith is for when you have nothing left. When your options have run out, that's when you learn what faith is about. In this moment, God is stretching my ability to believe in His provision. I don't have the time to tell you all the ways He has shown up just in time for me in the last 6 months. Just know that with every arrival of His grace and provision, my faith has grown.
Hebrews 11:1 asks an important question and then answers it when it says, "What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. God gave His approval to people in the days of old because of their faith." The chapter goes on to tell the stories of men and women who God used because of their faith. The interesting thing is what happens in the end to the members of this "hall of faith". Verses 33 through 40 tells us:
"By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, quenched the flames of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight. Women received their loved ones back again from death. But others were tortured, refusing to turn from God in order to be set free. They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. Some were jeered at, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in prisons. Some died by stoning, some were sawed in half,and others were killed with the sword. Some went about wearing skins of sheep and goats, destitute and oppressed and mistreated. They were too good for this world, wandering over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground. All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised."
Can't you see? Faith isn't about what you get in the end, so your faith can't be dependent on whether your not you receive on earth what you desire! Some of these men and women were rewarded and revered, but some suffered. There is not a distinction made that says the ones who triumphed here on earth had more faith! Faith is not about what you get, it is about your relationship with God and your "good reputation" (read:witness) to those on earth.
So I'm begging you, don't do what I did. Don't abandon faith because the term is so often misused or because you fear the "what ifs". Realize now that faith is your only option, because when your options are gone, faith is all that remains.
Friday, October 11, 2013
The Pendulum of Faith: Part 1 of 2
Let me start by saying this will be a two part series. As such, please be sure to read both this entry and the forth coming entry before writing angry comments forming too much of an opinion.
Yesterday morning I had to get my parents to the airport by 5 am, so I was up earlier than usual. As I was flipping channels, I happened upon a "religious program" and was compelled to stop. On the screen was a man in a very nice suit wearing a flashy watch. Under his image was a number along with a prompting for you to call and sow your "$1000 favor seed". I listened, waiting to hear what the money was to be used for. I thought this must be for orphans or widows, you know, the ones we are called to care for. But they weren't the receipients. I thought well then it must be to keep Christian programing on television, but I was wrong again.
I listened to the last 20 minutes of the program and even visited the website to try and figure it out, but as far as I can tell, these "seeds" weren't ear marked for anything (translation: it wasn't going for anything they wanted the audience to know about). This "minister" made statements such as "if you delay your seed, you delay your harvest" and "if you reach a busy signal, keep calling. Don't let the devil rob you of a blessing!"
Now, as ridiculous as I thought this was, I thought "if people want to send their hard earned money into a preacher who hasn't even said one word about the Gospel, that's their own mistake." But then he said something that infuriated me. He began telling the story of a man who needed a large amount of money, and was going to "sow a seed" knowing that it would yield a return. The man on my screen with the fancy clothes said "The seed was the point of contact, he was going to sow into his OWN CHURCH, but God said 'No, sow into ("minister"'s name here), because he has an anointing for increase."
This man had crossed a line in my book. Call me crazy, but I seriously doubt God would tell someone to take money he was going to put in his own church where actual ministry was taking place and send it to someone who has a national audience and doesn't even mention the Gospel.
"Word of faith" is nothing new to me. Having lived in an area of the country synonnimous with this movement, spending a very short time at the same WOF university the minister claimed as alma mater, and then living 5 minutes from a very opulent and well known Christian Broadcast Center, I'm more familiar with Word of Faith than I'd like to admit. Over the years I've built quite the collection of grievences with the prosperity gospel and they are as follows:
1. If you could buy the favor of God, it wouldn't be favor and He wouldn't be God. By definition, favor is unmerited and undeserved, gracious and kind. There is nothing you can do to earn it. Throughout the bible we are confronted of stories of men and women who were not only covered by God, they were favored and used by Him and DID NOT DESERVE it. Moses had anger management issues. David had an affair with a married woman and subsequently had her husband murdered. Paul spent years persecuting the church, but God delivered him from jail and allowed him to travel the world preaching. The list goes on and on. To say that God can be "bribed" into favoring you is contrary to what we know of His nature.
2. Luke 6:38 is about mercy, not money. One the most misinterpreted scriptures says "Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap." Sounds like a great selling point for "sowing seeds", doesn't it? But read the verse just prior. This was a discussion of why we shouldn't judge or condemn, but should forgive so that we will be forgiven. Nobody reads verse 37, because then what verse would we pray and sing over the offering?
3. The United States is not the center of the world or the bible. If having a luxury car, $500 suits, and money in the bank is the measure of faith, does that mean the other 95% of the world is lacking faith? And if they don't have enough faith to live like these preachers, how can they have enough faith to make it to heaven? When these ministers reference prosperity it is in regards to the meaning of that term in the United States. They say "God wants you to prosper. So claim that car." How materialistic must these men and women be that the only thing they can consider as prosperity are objects? I have news for you. Some of the most faith-filled people I have known barely had more than the clothes on their back-and they were happy with that. Money is not the measure of your trust in Jesus or His love for you.
4. God is not Santa Claus. The trademark phrase all WOF'ers will use eventually is "what's wrong with letting a kid pray for a bicycle?" Let's think for a moment of another way children will try and get a bike. They ask Santa. Now, what happens when a kid has written letters, begged to see every shopping mall Santa Claus, and been the nicest kid ever all year, but come December 25th there's no bike. How strong is that child's faith in Santa come December 26th? So it is with our Sovreign God. Sometimes He doesn't give us what we think we want because He sees the big picture. And when that happens, the spiritually immature lose their faith in God like a nine year old loses their faith on Christmas morning. I have prayed for and had faith for millions of things over my lifetime, some I got and some I didn't. When I was struggling in my faith and didn't get what I wanted, my faith in God was shattered. That is the reason I rail against this theology, I know how easily this happens.
I love the story of the three Hebrew boys in the fire. They told the king that God would deliver them, but EVEN IF HE DIDN'T, they wouldn't worship the idol. They had faith, but knew that their faith in God was not reliant on their faith for His deliverance. Part of spiritual maturity is understanding that while God is always capable, He will not always give us what we want-regardless of the amount of praying, hoping, and "faithing' we do. If your faith in Him is reliant on what He will do for you, then it is not true faith at all.
My next post will provide what happens when we swing the other way, accepting death and defeat and having NO faith. Please keep your eyes open for part two in the coming days.
Yesterday morning I had to get my parents to the airport by 5 am, so I was up earlier than usual. As I was flipping channels, I happened upon a "religious program" and was compelled to stop. On the screen was a man in a very nice suit wearing a flashy watch. Under his image was a number along with a prompting for you to call and sow your "$1000 favor seed". I listened, waiting to hear what the money was to be used for. I thought this must be for orphans or widows, you know, the ones we are called to care for. But they weren't the receipients. I thought well then it must be to keep Christian programing on television, but I was wrong again.
I listened to the last 20 minutes of the program and even visited the website to try and figure it out, but as far as I can tell, these "seeds" weren't ear marked for anything (translation: it wasn't going for anything they wanted the audience to know about). This "minister" made statements such as "if you delay your seed, you delay your harvest" and "if you reach a busy signal, keep calling. Don't let the devil rob you of a blessing!"
Now, as ridiculous as I thought this was, I thought "if people want to send their hard earned money into a preacher who hasn't even said one word about the Gospel, that's their own mistake." But then he said something that infuriated me. He began telling the story of a man who needed a large amount of money, and was going to "sow a seed" knowing that it would yield a return. The man on my screen with the fancy clothes said "The seed was the point of contact, he was going to sow into his OWN CHURCH, but God said 'No, sow into ("minister"'s name here), because he has an anointing for increase."
This man had crossed a line in my book. Call me crazy, but I seriously doubt God would tell someone to take money he was going to put in his own church where actual ministry was taking place and send it to someone who has a national audience and doesn't even mention the Gospel.
"Word of faith" is nothing new to me. Having lived in an area of the country synonnimous with this movement, spending a very short time at the same WOF university the minister claimed as alma mater, and then living 5 minutes from a very opulent and well known Christian Broadcast Center, I'm more familiar with Word of Faith than I'd like to admit. Over the years I've built quite the collection of grievences with the prosperity gospel and they are as follows:
1. If you could buy the favor of God, it wouldn't be favor and He wouldn't be God. By definition, favor is unmerited and undeserved, gracious and kind. There is nothing you can do to earn it. Throughout the bible we are confronted of stories of men and women who were not only covered by God, they were favored and used by Him and DID NOT DESERVE it. Moses had anger management issues. David had an affair with a married woman and subsequently had her husband murdered. Paul spent years persecuting the church, but God delivered him from jail and allowed him to travel the world preaching. The list goes on and on. To say that God can be "bribed" into favoring you is contrary to what we know of His nature.
2. Luke 6:38 is about mercy, not money. One the most misinterpreted scriptures says "Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap." Sounds like a great selling point for "sowing seeds", doesn't it? But read the verse just prior. This was a discussion of why we shouldn't judge or condemn, but should forgive so that we will be forgiven. Nobody reads verse 37, because then what verse would we pray and sing over the offering?
3. The United States is not the center of the world or the bible. If having a luxury car, $500 suits, and money in the bank is the measure of faith, does that mean the other 95% of the world is lacking faith? And if they don't have enough faith to live like these preachers, how can they have enough faith to make it to heaven? When these ministers reference prosperity it is in regards to the meaning of that term in the United States. They say "God wants you to prosper. So claim that car." How materialistic must these men and women be that the only thing they can consider as prosperity are objects? I have news for you. Some of the most faith-filled people I have known barely had more than the clothes on their back-and they were happy with that. Money is not the measure of your trust in Jesus or His love for you.
4. God is not Santa Claus. The trademark phrase all WOF'ers will use eventually is "what's wrong with letting a kid pray for a bicycle?" Let's think for a moment of another way children will try and get a bike. They ask Santa. Now, what happens when a kid has written letters, begged to see every shopping mall Santa Claus, and been the nicest kid ever all year, but come December 25th there's no bike. How strong is that child's faith in Santa come December 26th? So it is with our Sovreign God. Sometimes He doesn't give us what we think we want because He sees the big picture. And when that happens, the spiritually immature lose their faith in God like a nine year old loses their faith on Christmas morning. I have prayed for and had faith for millions of things over my lifetime, some I got and some I didn't. When I was struggling in my faith and didn't get what I wanted, my faith in God was shattered. That is the reason I rail against this theology, I know how easily this happens.
I love the story of the three Hebrew boys in the fire. They told the king that God would deliver them, but EVEN IF HE DIDN'T, they wouldn't worship the idol. They had faith, but knew that their faith in God was not reliant on their faith for His deliverance. Part of spiritual maturity is understanding that while God is always capable, He will not always give us what we want-regardless of the amount of praying, hoping, and "faithing' we do. If your faith in Him is reliant on what He will do for you, then it is not true faith at all.
My next post will provide what happens when we swing the other way, accepting death and defeat and having NO faith. Please keep your eyes open for part two in the coming days.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
PORN
Did that title shock you? Did you click on it thinking I was tricking you and I must really be writing about something else because no one in their right mind discusses pornography? Well, this time, it wasn't a trick. I'm going to talk about it because someone needs to. This easily hidden sin is destroying any chance our young people have of healthy relationships and marriages in the future, yet we as the church have elected to take the comfortable route of remaining silent on the subject.
Sadly, there is an idea that it is "indecent" to have this conversation with our young (and older) people in the church. Do you know what I find indecent? I find it indecent that children are losing their innocence in the light of a computer screen while the church looks the other way.
We have to get our heads out of the sand and take a good hard look at the culture they are enthralled in. Pornography of the twenty-first century is not what it was 25, 10, or even 5 years ago. There was a day when it could be said, "if a kid wants to get in trouble, they'll find it." That wasn't good enough for the sex industry. Pornographers no longer wait for viewers to find their material, they go after THEM.
25 years ago, if a young person wanted to view porn, they generally resorted to stealing magazines from their parents or their friend's parents. These adults (to whom I am not giving a pass) had to sneak to the local adult store and prove their age before purchase. Fast-forward to the Internet age. With Internet in nearly every home, all a teenager had to do to find explicit material is go to site and click a box stating their alleged age. Now think of today's world. In a day in which social media rules our lives, there is almost no escaping invitations for viewing material of every kind of depraved act. They aren't LOOKING for sin, sin is LOOKING for THEM. And because we are to scared to say the words in the church house, they are exploring every pop-up ad that finds them with no idea of the lifetime of repercussions they are signing on for.
"But Lindsey, it's innocent. It's a normal thing for young people to be curious. You're over reacting. Sex is a natural part of life. What is it hurting for them to explore?"
The problem with exposure to explicit material at any age, but especially for our youth is:
1. It makes sex common. Porn (and our attitudes towards it) leaves young people believing sex is "no big deal". Easily accessible and seemingly gratifying 100% of the time for participants, porn is often used as training material for young people. They watch and repeat. It's pretty simple and in a culture that paints losing one's virginity as a right of passage, why wouldn't you go for it?
2. It leaves them with unrealistic expectations of sex and leaves them unsatisfiable. I recently read an eye-opening article by Martin Daubney. He is the former editor of what many would deem a "soft porn" men's magazine. In the article for UK Daily Mail titled "Experiment that convinced me online porn is the most pernicious threat facing children today" he discusses how he saw first hand the destruction porn is raining down on our children. Of particular interest to me was his exchange with a 19 year old porn addict. The young man tells Daubney, "'Every bit of spare time I have is spent watching porn, it is extreme. I can't hold down a relationship for longer than three weeks. I want porn sex with real girls, but sex with them just isn't as good as the porn.'" His story reminded me of 1 Corinthians 6:18 which warns, "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." His statement highlights a very serious side-effect of chronic viewing. The viewer becomes enthralled in the fantasy-actually placing themselves in the scenario on screen. When they walk back into real-life, it's no longer fulfilling. This seed of dissatisfaction in youth kills marriages in adulthood.
3. It introduces the idea of human beings as objects. Porn is about sex, not love. As such, the participants can be interchanged one for another. Sex in porn isn't about relationship, it's about releasing passions, and as such the partner is unimportant. This idea that a partner is just an object is a slippery slope that is slowly killing our society. In a shocking study released this week by JAMA Pediatrics, it was found that "1 in 10 young people report being a perpetrator of sexual violence." (USA TODAY) The study "suggests a connection between such behavior and being exposed to violent X-Rated material." This link can't be ignored. Also this week we heard from R & B singer Chris Brown who became infamous after beating his then-girlfriend, Rhianna, nearly to death. He claims to have lost his virginity at age 8, saying that his porn-watching habits were at the root of having sex so young. I find it interesting that both of these stories came out this week. Here we have a study telling us that porn leads to sexual violence, and then we hear that Chris Brown, known woman beater, has been enthralled since age 8. You can make all the excuses you want, porn is dangerous.
As a church it is time to stand up and confront this issue. It's time to get over our fear of this topic and start teaching these kids how and why they must flee all manner of lust. We are standing by as they are destroying themselves and others.
It is my prayer that we receive boldness to start discussing these issues before they take root and we lose yet another generation to this trap.
Sadly, there is an idea that it is "indecent" to have this conversation with our young (and older) people in the church. Do you know what I find indecent? I find it indecent that children are losing their innocence in the light of a computer screen while the church looks the other way.
We have to get our heads out of the sand and take a good hard look at the culture they are enthralled in. Pornography of the twenty-first century is not what it was 25, 10, or even 5 years ago. There was a day when it could be said, "if a kid wants to get in trouble, they'll find it." That wasn't good enough for the sex industry. Pornographers no longer wait for viewers to find their material, they go after THEM.
25 years ago, if a young person wanted to view porn, they generally resorted to stealing magazines from their parents or their friend's parents. These adults (to whom I am not giving a pass) had to sneak to the local adult store and prove their age before purchase. Fast-forward to the Internet age. With Internet in nearly every home, all a teenager had to do to find explicit material is go to site and click a box stating their alleged age. Now think of today's world. In a day in which social media rules our lives, there is almost no escaping invitations for viewing material of every kind of depraved act. They aren't LOOKING for sin, sin is LOOKING for THEM. And because we are to scared to say the words in the church house, they are exploring every pop-up ad that finds them with no idea of the lifetime of repercussions they are signing on for.
"But Lindsey, it's innocent. It's a normal thing for young people to be curious. You're over reacting. Sex is a natural part of life. What is it hurting for them to explore?"
The problem with exposure to explicit material at any age, but especially for our youth is:
1. It makes sex common. Porn (and our attitudes towards it) leaves young people believing sex is "no big deal". Easily accessible and seemingly gratifying 100% of the time for participants, porn is often used as training material for young people. They watch and repeat. It's pretty simple and in a culture that paints losing one's virginity as a right of passage, why wouldn't you go for it?
2. It leaves them with unrealistic expectations of sex and leaves them unsatisfiable. I recently read an eye-opening article by Martin Daubney. He is the former editor of what many would deem a "soft porn" men's magazine. In the article for UK Daily Mail titled "Experiment that convinced me online porn is the most pernicious threat facing children today" he discusses how he saw first hand the destruction porn is raining down on our children. Of particular interest to me was his exchange with a 19 year old porn addict. The young man tells Daubney, "'Every bit of spare time I have is spent watching porn, it is extreme. I can't hold down a relationship for longer than three weeks. I want porn sex with real girls, but sex with them just isn't as good as the porn.'" His story reminded me of 1 Corinthians 6:18 which warns, "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." His statement highlights a very serious side-effect of chronic viewing. The viewer becomes enthralled in the fantasy-actually placing themselves in the scenario on screen. When they walk back into real-life, it's no longer fulfilling. This seed of dissatisfaction in youth kills marriages in adulthood.
3. It introduces the idea of human beings as objects. Porn is about sex, not love. As such, the participants can be interchanged one for another. Sex in porn isn't about relationship, it's about releasing passions, and as such the partner is unimportant. This idea that a partner is just an object is a slippery slope that is slowly killing our society. In a shocking study released this week by JAMA Pediatrics, it was found that "1 in 10 young people report being a perpetrator of sexual violence." (USA TODAY) The study "suggests a connection between such behavior and being exposed to violent X-Rated material." This link can't be ignored. Also this week we heard from R & B singer Chris Brown who became infamous after beating his then-girlfriend, Rhianna, nearly to death. He claims to have lost his virginity at age 8, saying that his porn-watching habits were at the root of having sex so young. I find it interesting that both of these stories came out this week. Here we have a study telling us that porn leads to sexual violence, and then we hear that Chris Brown, known woman beater, has been enthralled since age 8. You can make all the excuses you want, porn is dangerous.
As a church it is time to stand up and confront this issue. It's time to get over our fear of this topic and start teaching these kids how and why they must flee all manner of lust. We are standing by as they are destroying themselves and others.
It is my prayer that we receive boldness to start discussing these issues before they take root and we lose yet another generation to this trap.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
How My iPhone Became My Idol
While out of the country last month I discovered I have a serious addiction. My husband had tried to warn me for over a year that I had a problem,
but I was in denial. Perhaps you, too, have the same addiction. It had so consumed me that while in Jamaica I literally felt anxious when forced to give it up cold turkey. It was in that moment of mental anguish (my hitting bottom) when the Holy Spirit convicted me, this was a serious problem that was overtaking me. What was this awful thing? It was cell service.
Before you think I'm crazy, think for a moment how reliant you are on staying connected. When you forget your phone at home are you worried all day about what you are missing? When facebook crashes do you feel like you will be lost on what's happening in the world? If you were unable to check email for a day would you panic at the thought of having to catch up? That's where I was.
When we were dating, Andy would ask me to put my phone away because as he would say, he was "tired of having a relationship with the back of a phone." But I didn't care about his feelings, I was consumed with my addiction to technology.
While on honeymoon a moment of clarity came when I realized that as soon as my eyes opened each morning I didn't even think of him being next to me. Instead, I found myself frantically searching for my phone to complete my daily routine which was:
1. check for texts
2. check facebook
3. check email
4. read my USA Today app (because how can my day begin without first finding out which celebrity had been arrested overnight)
Obviously, much of ministry connection for me happens through technology. Clearly I'm not against it. But, the Spirit began to show me that it had an undeserving spot in my life. It was something that I adored excessively, which happens to be the definition of the word "idol". I had slowly, unknowingly, begun to idolize my iPhone.
It was an easy battle when we had no service, but it became much more difficult when we returned to the states. At that point, the phone wasn't even the issue, it was an issue of obedience. God told me to re-prioritize, and I kept making excuses why it was okay. This is something I'm still struggling with, but with the Lord's help (and the accountability I am gaining as I post this), I will make it.
This was one of those hidden sins that creep up without our realizing it. One that we have to ask God to search our hearts for. Do you have idols that you didn't even realize were there? Is your mind consumed with objects or ideas that control you? Ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal them to you, and when He does, ask His forgiveness and make it your priority to eliminate them.
Before you think I'm crazy, think for a moment how reliant you are on staying connected. When you forget your phone at home are you worried all day about what you are missing? When facebook crashes do you feel like you will be lost on what's happening in the world? If you were unable to check email for a day would you panic at the thought of having to catch up? That's where I was.
When we were dating, Andy would ask me to put my phone away because as he would say, he was "tired of having a relationship with the back of a phone." But I didn't care about his feelings, I was consumed with my addiction to technology.
While on honeymoon a moment of clarity came when I realized that as soon as my eyes opened each morning I didn't even think of him being next to me. Instead, I found myself frantically searching for my phone to complete my daily routine which was:
1. check for texts
2. check facebook
3. check email
4. read my USA Today app (because how can my day begin without first finding out which celebrity had been arrested overnight)
Obviously, much of ministry connection for me happens through technology. Clearly I'm not against it. But, the Spirit began to show me that it had an undeserving spot in my life. It was something that I adored excessively, which happens to be the definition of the word "idol". I had slowly, unknowingly, begun to idolize my iPhone.
It was an easy battle when we had no service, but it became much more difficult when we returned to the states. At that point, the phone wasn't even the issue, it was an issue of obedience. God told me to re-prioritize, and I kept making excuses why it was okay. This is something I'm still struggling with, but with the Lord's help (and the accountability I am gaining as I post this), I will make it.
This was one of those hidden sins that creep up without our realizing it. One that we have to ask God to search our hearts for. Do you have idols that you didn't even realize were there? Is your mind consumed with objects or ideas that control you? Ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal them to you, and when He does, ask His forgiveness and make it your priority to eliminate them.
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