The Field

Last night I wrote on my facebook page that I would deviate from my marriage series today because I have a big announcement. Of course off the bat some guessed that I was pregnant. Some thought I may be announcing that I had taken on a pastorate. One suggested I was changing my hair. All will be revealed soon enough, but first a story. (Yes, I blog baited some, but it will be worth it.)

I was preaching at a small church in Nashville right after I had returned from my honeymoon. As I preached about how we have to get up from our tables where we are being fed and go serve those around us, my attention was drawn outside the church. As I looked down the aisle and out the back door, I noticed the neighborhood was bustling with activity. This church is not like the big, fancy churches right on the main drag in town. It is located in the middle of a small, but very crowded, community. I couldn't even focus on the handful of people I was supposed to be addressing, because my mind was caught up in the possibilities beneath the shadow of the church house.

My mind went to Matthew 9:35-38: "Jesus traveled through all the towns and villages of that area, teaching in the synagogues and announcing the Good News about the Kingdom. And He healed every kind of disease and illness. When He saw the crowds, He had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. He said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.”

This particular church is going through a time of transition. I had multiple conversations with the interim pastor regarding the needs of the church and community. While I felt compassion for their situations, I also had excuses. I've never done what I was asked to undertake. I'm still trying to figure out where I'm going and establish myself in ministry. I also talked myself into believing that I really had no skills at all and would be dead weight to any ministry team. It got way out of hand. Until one night the Lord spoke to me clearly...

I am generally going at turbo speed. I struggle to sleep because my mind won't shut off and then I wake up early ready to get idea to paper. I have no "slow speed". If my eyes are open, my mind is trapped in a continual conversation with myself. So it makes sense that in the last year my answers have come often in the form of dreams. Clearly, the Lord has to wait until I shut up so I can hear Him! Before you dismiss me as flaky, please remember I am not a hyper-spiritual person who goes around seeing God in every gust of wind. But in the last year as my spiritual walk has grown deeper through prayer, fasting, and bible study, the Lord has given me answers, revelations, and even warnings (that have already proven true) through this mode. I haven't shared the dreams with you before, because they were between me and God, but I feel an urgency to tell you about this one.

I dreamt that I was living in the community I am discussing. In my dream, a young man came in through my front door. I began yelling and sent him away. I locked the door back, and it opened again! This time, it was a young woman with 2 elderly women and I again tried to kick them out. She begged to stay because they were sick. I allowed it, and locked the door again. Once again, the door opened, this time I found a young mother and her son. When I told her to get out of my house she said, "please, we don't have anywhere else to go." I allowed her to stay, and then to my horror, the first man returned!

I couldn't believe all these people came barging in to my nice, clean, quiet home with all their troubles! The old women would probably bring in diseases and the kid would probably break everything, and that guy was surely up to no good and was more than likely going to rob me blind! I was infuriated! I left to find out what was wrong with my lock, and as I did, I passed through a huge room. In the room were lots of people, playing games. In the middle of the room I saw people overseeing what was going on. Not involved, not talking to these people, just standing the center of the room, congregating with one another. One said something to me, but I was so mad that they were playing games while sick people were potentially dying on my clean carpet that I walked by without acknowledging him! The dream ended with my being told that it wasn't a lock issue. That this would be my lot in life at least for a while.

Now, some of you are saying "that's just your subconscious working things out". You don't have to believe me that this dream came from God, but knowing the burden I had when I awoke from it, I have no choice but to believe.

I instantly began praying for God to give me wisdom regarding the dream. He spoke very plainly to me. He told me that there are people in that community who are hurting and have no where to go. Many have been abandoned by Christians and even so-called ministers (of several churches in town) who spent their time "playing games" and trying to be the center of attention. He left me with a choice. I could be just another preacher who talks about love and humility and compassion but shuts people out and lets them die on my doorstep, or I could open the door, let the mess in, and try to make an actual difference.

I chose the latter.

After much prayer, thought, and conversation, Andy and I have decided to join the ministry team at the Old Hickory Church of God of Prophecy. While I will continue to travel and preach on Sundays, I will be working with the youth of this community, as well as assisting in teaching.

We are excited to see where this new venture will take us. We are believing that this is God ordained and that this is a time for development not only for the church, but for us as well.

For those of you who thought I was going to announce that I'm becoming a mom, you were sort of right I suppose. Except, by the grace of God, we will hopefully be gaining LOTS of other people's kids, not just one of our own!