Andy's Story Part 1

From time to time I have (with permission) shared the testimonies of loved ones in an order to offer hope for others I know are struggling with similar situations. A few months ago, my husband asked me to do something I hadn't expected. He asked that I join his story to list of others I had shared. As he has traveled with me and seen the bondage so many are in, he has had an urging to share where he came from in order to warn others of the destruction they are playing with and to share the good news that there is hope, regardless of the darkness of your present situation. It took this long to write it because it is a testimony that contains sensitive and at times controversial material. I wanted to be sure, above all, that the message conveyed was not one of victimization or glory to anything other than the transformative power of God. With that in mind, I present Andy's story.

When asked what my favorite thing is about Andy, my answer is always the same, "it's his kind heart." He has always been kind, gentle, forgiving, and loving towards me-even when I did not deserve it. In this way, our relationship has taught me new dimensions of the love God has for me, for it is truly a Godly love that is in his heart. I share about his goodness in order to explain how unbelievable his former life was, and to tell how God can truly transform every part of us.

During our engagement Andy told me a secret that no one in the world knew. As a young child, he had been molested by another boy in his neighborhood. Andy had forgiven this boy and understood that he had more than likely been molested himself. But even though he had forgiven him, the thought of the events never went away. The actions of this child planted seeds of doubt and weakness in Andy's mind.

As Andy grew up, he seemed to always find himself in trouble. Diagnosed with ADD and being dragged from doctors to psychologists who never got to the root of it all left him feeling worthless.  The options were either to stay on medications that left him like a zombie or drop them all and deal with his disorder. Maybe if they had known what had happened, they would have realized he was actually quite smart and was always active because he needed to distract his mind from the constant battle.

Kids who are labeled with ADHD are often made to feel like a nuisance. They are told they are stupid, crazy, lazy, and have no prospects for the future. That's where Andy was. Those seeds of powerlessness planted by the boy who took advantage of him were watered and tended to by adults and other children who made him feel weak with their words and actions.

Around the age of 12 Andy began self-mutilation. He started cutting his body, sometimes in obvious spots, sometimes in hidden areas, initially as a means of getting attention from those he thought didn't notice him. This plan did nothing but leave him with scars still visible over a decade later, but never ended his suffering.

As he grew older, he began searching for new ways to numb his pain. He did what many abused do, he turned to alcohol and drugs. To most on the outside this seemed like normal teenage rebellion, but in Andy's case it was fueled by something deeper. He wasn't smoking marijuana or drinking because he perceived it as "cool", he did it because anything that dulled his senses was better than the daily torment of wondering if he could have done more to stop the detestable actions that were committed against him.

This habit of self medication led to a feeling that life was meaningless. He became what most considered a "thrill-seeker", pulling crazy stunts like jumping off bridges into rather shallow waters below. What the outsiders didn't know was that this wasn't just about an adrenaline rush. He had no desire to live. It wasn't that he was trying to kill himself, he just didn't care if that was what happened.

He had decided that no one would ever want a "broken" soul like him. No girl would ever choose to marry him, let alone raise a family with him. Being made to feel "stupid" and incapable of any real academic or career success, he really had nothing to look forward to. He knew he had a lonely, empty life ahead, and saw no reason to delay death.

At the age of 18 he was introduced to the darkest and admittedly hardest part to understand of his story. He discovered that a friend was heavily involved in witchcraft and began to inquire as to the practice. His friend knew how to draw in this lonely, powerless boy, he told Andy how through witchcraft and the assistance of the demons they invite he could feel ultimate power.

I can't stress this part enough-Andy turned to the practice because long before he was made to feel powerless. Every time he thought of the acts perpetuated by the young boy, every time someone called him "dumb", every time his best efforts weren't good enough, all that fueled his decision to find something to make him feel "big".

Andy still remembers his first visit to one of the gatherings. As he entered the room, he found the windows covered in black sheets, the only illumination coming from candles, in an effort to give demons the darkness they craved. The walls and floors were covered in drawings. There was a table containing machetes, knives, and a skull. The group of about 15 young people were chanting and singing what seemed to be tribal music.

Andy's friend wanted to invoke a demon that night. He stood in the center of the room as the others gathered around smoking cigars and marijuana (a common practice to invite spirits). As he invited the demons to enter, those around him began to make sacrifices. Some were killing small animals and offering their blood to the spirits. Others began to cut and offer their own blood. It was during this that Andy watched his friend's wish be granted: he became possessed. His young friend began contorting and screaming in demonic tongues.

Andy remained in the group for about nine months. In that time, he started moving up the ladder. He proved himself enough to be called a low-ranking warlock. With this distinction came the ability to cast spells and use spirits to see the inner thoughts of those he wanted to target. The object of his obsession quickly became Christians. He hated Christians. Andy was raised not only in a Christian home, but in a missionary house. He knew about God. He knew that God allegedly loved people, but all he could do was hate God for all the pain he had faced and if you are going to hate God then you have to hate this claiming to be like Him.

The deeper he got into the cult, the more spirits would visit him, especially in his dreams. He left because the spirits he had come to trust began to threaten him. They told him that they would take him to hell. He knew enough to be scared. With this decision to turn away came new demonic attacks as witches began casting spells and sending demons to him even at great distances.

It seemed there was no escape...


Stay tuned for part 2 of Andy's story, coming soon.