The Loophole

When I married my husband, I made some promises to him in the form of our vows. There were the standard commitments: promises to love, comfort, honor, and keep in sickness and in health while forsaking all others. But we also promised to be each other's friend and love, to be there in laughter and tears, conflict and tranquility. We promised to be ourselves and to love one another for who they were.

Now imagine that after a year of marriage I become restless. What if my mind begins to wonder what is beyond the bounds of our marriage? Suddenly, those vows I made in love seem less like sincere promises and guidelines and more like a contract that was trying to stifle me. What if I spend days pouring over that contract searching for the most literal meaning of each word with the intention of finding a loophole I could escape through? In an instant, love no longer means exclusivity. Soon, "forsaking all others" is vague. I would start to think, "I didn't list out specific acts that are off limits, and if he didn't ask me to give up things specifically, I don't have to worry about it."

I would be a pretty shady wife at best, and an adulterer at worst. But that's what we do in our relationship with Christ.

My generation has become famous for talking about its relationship with Christ and how it's all that matters. The truth is, if we are in a relationship with Him, most of us are adulterous partners looking for a loophole, and according to Christ's definition of adultery in Matthew 5:28, we are cheaters long before any act is committed.

I constantly see blogs and commentaries offering excuses for one thing or another. They address the "important" questions: "Can I be a Christian and curse?" "Will I go to hell if I drink?" "Is sexual sin really that bad?" Anyone who dares to suggest that a Christian should live differently than the world for the sake of either one's personal relationship with Christ or their witness is quickly labeled a Pharisee, a hypocrite, or just plain irrelevant. Those calling for holiness are accused of being judgmental and told they don't "understand grace".

Generally, these bloggers justify their answers by concluding that if the bible doesn't specifically outlaw something (and I mean to the letter), then it is fair game.

The problem is that for a generation that cries out "I just love Jesus more than anything! I don't want anything but Him!" the constant searching for a way out doesn't work.

Let's return to the aforementioned example of a marriage. I don't think of the boundaries of my marriage as something keeping me from excitement or fun because there is nothing beyond its fences that I want. I don't look for loopholes in my vows because anywhere away from my husband could never compare to the joy I have at his side. So it is with Christ. When you are really in love with Him, you don't look for a way out, because nothing on the other side of His presence could compare! In the same way I keep the unspoken rules of my marriage out of love and not obligation, we should out of love ask "what can I do to be closer to my love-Jesus?" instead of seeing His bible as a contract waiting to be torn apart.

Until we return to our first love, the incessant, childish questions will continue. Reading the Word of God isn't about finding arguments for or against certain acts, it is about intimacy with our Creator. Once you have rekindled that intimacy, your desires will change naturally because nothing-no drink, no sexual partner, not even salty talk-could compare.