When I Was a Prostitute

I've gone to great lengths to be honest with my readers over the years, but I bet you never thought you'd read that title on my blog. We all know the most basic definition of a prostitute: "a person, typically a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment." But there is a secondary definition: "a person who misuses their talents or who sacrifices their self-respect for the sake of personal or financial gain." I would have definitely fit that second description, and the truth is, many young women do.

In my case, I became a prostitute when I decided it was acceptable for a man to mistreat me if he followed this mistreatment up by buying me expensive gifts. I sacrificed my self-respect at the altar of a jewelry store. Let's be clear, there is nothing wrong with giving and receiving gifts while in a relationship-as long as the motivation is admiration and not covering up poor treatment. I became engulfed in a cycle in which I was lied to and run around on and then blinded by shiny objects. 

So what's wrong with this practice? The problem is that it slowly programs your mind to see love and relationship as an exchange in which you give your partner what they want for what you want. It sets up a currency-your self-respect, affection, and yes, perhaps even your body are swapped for gifts and money. You become, in effect, a prostitute. 

It is a very self-centered view of love, and thus, not really love at all. When you experience true love, you realize love isn't about what you can get out of it. Real love is about laying everything down, even your life if necessary. 

So to my young friends: don't be duped into believing your affection or self-respect can be purchased.  You are better than that. You deserve better than that. To those who are the "purchasers" in these relationships, I pray that you would learn to respect yourself as well. If you think you have to buy affection, then it's time to assess what is lacking in your self-worth that makes you believe you have to buy love. You deserve better as well. 

No amount of money can compete with the feeling of knowing you love and are truly loved by someone who will be there regardless of what a bank account says. I promise, there is no better security than that.