Thursday, September 25, 2014

Four Promises From a Christian Parent-Regardless of My Child's Sin

This past week I began seeing a blog making the rounds on social media. It was titled "If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent". Written by John Pavlovitz, these are his promises:

1.  "If I have gay children, you’ll all know it." He states that he will not treat their sexuality as a secret.

2. "If I have gay children, I’ll pray for them." But he makes great strides to let us know he isn't praying for them to change, but rather praying for them to be able to cope with what they were dealt.

3. "If I have gay children, I’ll love them." That one is just as it sounds.

4. "If I have gay children, most likely; I have gay children." This is the portion that I am most bothered by when I see friends sharing this blog because he uses scripture to justify same sex orientation. He states, "God has already created them and wired them, and placed the seed of who they are within them. Psalm 139 says that He, 'stitched them together in their mother’s womb'. The incredibly intricate stuff that makes them uniquely them; once-in-History souls, has already been uploaded into their very cells."

Now, I don't know this blogger. All I know is that someone who claims to have been in ministry for 17 years is getting a lot of praise for comments I cannot reconcile with being a Christian parent.

Knowing that I will be a parent in just a few days, I have thought often of what my child will become. And, yes, I have even thought of what would happen if he found himself ensnared in certain sins because I know that day will come when his sinful nature overtakes. With that in mind, I came up with my own promises, regardless of what the sin is he finds himself drawn to:

1. When my child sins, I will remember that he is like his mother. Romans 3:23 tells us, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (NIV)  My son will sin. Just like I have sinned. Just like his dad. Just like everyone else. I didn't want my sins paraded around for the sake of shame or glory, and I won't do that to my son. I won't treat him like his sins inconvenience or embarrass me as a minister. I will remember that he is human, and thus carries a sinful nature that has to be addressed.

2. When my child sins, I'll FIGHT for him in prayer. I have no desire to pray the way this blogger describes. I want to pray like my grandmother. When my dad was lost in sin, she was a warrior. She refused to let the devil have him without a fight. He would come home from nights of partying (usually accompanied by the kind of girl you don't settle down with), to find his mother praying over a tear-stained bible. The day he got saved he called his mom to tell her and she said, "I have something to tell you-you got saved tonight." When he asked how she could know, she responded, "I've been fasting and praying for 3 days." Loving your child doesn't mean you lie down and let the devil take them because you don't want them to feel uncomfortable with your disapproval, it means you get up, you put on the armor of God and you stand your ground. My child does not belong to the enemy of his soul. He doesn't even belong to me. I gave him to God the day I found out I was pregnant. I have prayed over him everyday of my pregnancy. I've put in my time before the throne of God and the devil will have Kai over my dead body.

3. When my child sins, I'll love him. This is the one point Pavlovitz got right! My son is worthy of love no matter what. I will give him the type of Godly love described in Psalm 103, "He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities." (v.10 NIV) In the same way God's love for us doesn't make our sins less sinful, my love for my son will not make his sins less wrong, it just means I can see past them to the man God created him to be. Kai will always be my son regardless of his sins.

4. My child will sin, but he will not be the sum of his sins. I will not accept that my son is a sinner and nothing can be done about it. At the end of Psalm 139 that Pavlovitz used we find an interesting prayer in verses 23 and 24, "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (NIV) Yes, God carefully weaved us in our mother's womb, but that doesn't take away the fact that we are accountable for what we do with the nature we inherited from Adam. Isaiah 43:1 says, "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine." (NIV) Unlike this blogger who seems fine with leaving labels such as "homosexual" on his children, God doesn't call you by the labels the world so easily assigns. He calls you not by labels, but by the name He assigned you-Mine.

I leave you with this thought: if your child had cancer would you say "well that's how God made them, full of defective cells. I love him so much I'm going to accept him, full of diseases." Of course not! If your child was sick you would run to the ends of the earth to find a cure. You would give up your own sleep, food, air, whatever it took to change his situation. Why would you treat sin differently?

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