I have had the honor of being the daughter of the two greatest parents I know. I wasn't alway easy to get along with. Yes, I was a smart mouthed teenager (hard to believe, I know) that grew into a confused young adult who took my frustrations out on them. But through it all, they have been there to love and guide me, whether I liked it or not. Since being married, they have extended the same love and grace that I had known for so long to my husband.
At some point in our engagement, my dad had a very serious conversation with us. He made one thing very clear: running home was not an option. I suppose through years of moderating marital counseling he knew that newlyweds often consider going home as their "nuclear option" when things get bad. He told us that when you get married you make a pledge to God that you belong solely to one another. That means if you have a problem, you work it out together. You don't drum up support for your corner of the boxing ring. Most of all, you don't threaten to walk out, because running home every time things get bad is like saying "my life was better with them than with you."
He followed this up by reminding us that he and my mother will always be there if WE needed them, but there was no doubt what that emphasis meant. WE were to become ONE entity, that meant my parents would never take sides because sides no longer existed.
My dad was reemphasizing the biblical principle Jesus references in Matthew 19, "'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (verses 5-6 NIV)
I constantly hear people talk about "the enemy's attack on marriage" in reference to things like gay marriage, divorce, and pre-marital co-habitation, but they leave out the glaring issue that even Jesus references-the inability of young people to leave their parents and form their own families.
It can be tempting when you are starting out to view your parents as a safety net. It can seem like your parents are the built in support system you crave. I mean, everyone wants to have the biggest cheering section during a battle, right? The problem is that marriage isn't meant to be battle, and it certainly isn't a spectator sport. The truth is, most newlyweds will never learn this lesson because too many parents go along with this tag team match mentality.
We've all seen it. A father who is used to being his daughter's knight in shining armor doesn't think her new husband is up to the task, so he tramples the young man with his white horse. A mother who has spent the last couple of decades meeting all of her son's emotional needs begins to feel like she's been worked out of a job when he turns to his companion. What ends up happening is that parents, feeling unwanted, set out on a mission to destroy the competition. They sometimes do it by bashing their new sons and daughters in law to others. Sometimes they even tear them down to their child.
The thing a lot of parents don't understand (because they don't want to see it) is that their child's spouse, regardless of what they think of them, is now a part of their child. They are ONE flesh, that means if you destruct your child's spouse, you are destructing the child you love. If you make a spouse unwelcome in your home, you make your child unwelcome in your home. If you call your son or daughter in law "selfish" "sneaky" or "stupid" you are saying all those things about your child.
Saying these things to your child about their husband or wife is at best paranoia, but at worst it is encouragement to break a vow to God. You think that's drastic? Well, the King James Version of the above verse calls for a husband to "cleave" to his wife. To cleave means to not let ANYTHING come between you. When a parent puts doubts in their child's mind about their spouse, they are planting seeds that can be easily watered by the enemy and grow into discontentment.
In the same way I call on parents to not place these doubts in their children's minds, I call on newlyweds (and almost weds) to not allow room for those doubts. Learn to set boundaries. At the end of the day, the health of your relationship is reliant on you. If anyone begins to tear your spouse down, be they family, friend, or foe, understand that it is an attack on you. Make it clear that you won't entertain such conversation. You are to love your spouse as you love yourself. If you wouldn't want it said about you, don't let it be said about them.
The bible makes it simple: we are to "leave" and "cleave". Once you are married, your spouse becomes your family. I am NOT saying that you can't love your family but it needs to be understood by all parties where priorities lie. I couldn't imagine my life without my parents in it, but part of the reason we have a good relationship is that we knew long ago that my commitment to my husband needed the most important relationship I had, for the sake of myself, my husband, and our kids.
Honor your spouse. Honor your children. Most of all, honor vows made to God.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
That Which Cost Me Nothing
Having been involved in youth ministry in one capacity or another over the past few years I have watched many young people full of promise come and go. For a few, "going" meant moving forward into the ministry God had laid out for them. But for most, "going" meant falling away spiritually and never reaching the potential so many of us saw in them.
With these young people I saw two words used over and over that either became a blessing or the kiss of death: talent and anointing. I have heard these labels thrust, sometimes correctly and sometimes not, on young musicians, preachers, and teachers.
How could it possibly be a bad thing to label young people in this way? While I see nothing wrong with encouraging our young leaders with these words, the hearers of these words need to understand that innate ability or even calling doesn't give them a free pass to do as they please.
The problem with throwing these words around (particularly "anointed") is that it becomes an excuse for laziness. I've watched over and over as those labeled as "talented" or "anointed" take those labels to mean they don't have to show up to practice or study their bibles. Because they have been labeled as having God's hand on them in a unique way, they don't think they have to put in an effort. Why should they waste their time fine tuning their skills if they are already better than those around them?
The answer is found in 1 Chronicles 21. David had messed up...bad. As punishment for going against God's instructions and taking a census, God sent a plague upon Israel. David cried out to the Lord begging that God's anger be taken out on him for his sin instead of his people. The Lord spoke to David through his seer telling him to make a sacrifice at the threshing floor of a man named Araunah. When David asked Araunah to allow him to buy his threshing floor, Aranuah offered to give David not only the floor, but everything needed for the sacrifices at no charge.
David refused and his response in verse 24 should be ours: "No, I insist on paying the full price. I will not take for the Lord what is yours, or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing." (NIV) God honored David's sacrifice.
What does this have to do with our labels? This story illustrates an important principle: sacrifice requires cost. It alway has, it always will. If the worship you offer required no work on your part, then it is NOT a "sacrifice" of praise. If the sermon you bring didn't require time and energy studying and praying and yes, maybe even pushing a plate back, then it cost you nothing. Since when is it okay to offer to the most high God that which cost us nothing?
David knew that his worship would not be received if he didn't pay the price for it and the same is true of our worship. What if we came to an understanding that God would only accept our worship if it cost us something? Would we offer lazy, thrown together praises? Or would we only bring sacrificial worship?
If God has anointed you or poured out special talent and ability on you then you should work harder than anyone in the room out of gratitude to the Lord who placed ability in you. Talent is not an excuse for laziness. Anointing is not an excuse for being irresponsible. Guard that which God lent you and give it back to him ten fold.
With these young people I saw two words used over and over that either became a blessing or the kiss of death: talent and anointing. I have heard these labels thrust, sometimes correctly and sometimes not, on young musicians, preachers, and teachers.
How could it possibly be a bad thing to label young people in this way? While I see nothing wrong with encouraging our young leaders with these words, the hearers of these words need to understand that innate ability or even calling doesn't give them a free pass to do as they please.
The problem with throwing these words around (particularly "anointed") is that it becomes an excuse for laziness. I've watched over and over as those labeled as "talented" or "anointed" take those labels to mean they don't have to show up to practice or study their bibles. Because they have been labeled as having God's hand on them in a unique way, they don't think they have to put in an effort. Why should they waste their time fine tuning their skills if they are already better than those around them?
The answer is found in 1 Chronicles 21. David had messed up...bad. As punishment for going against God's instructions and taking a census, God sent a plague upon Israel. David cried out to the Lord begging that God's anger be taken out on him for his sin instead of his people. The Lord spoke to David through his seer telling him to make a sacrifice at the threshing floor of a man named Araunah. When David asked Araunah to allow him to buy his threshing floor, Aranuah offered to give David not only the floor, but everything needed for the sacrifices at no charge.
David refused and his response in verse 24 should be ours: "No, I insist on paying the full price. I will not take for the Lord what is yours, or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing." (NIV) God honored David's sacrifice.
What does this have to do with our labels? This story illustrates an important principle: sacrifice requires cost. It alway has, it always will. If the worship you offer required no work on your part, then it is NOT a "sacrifice" of praise. If the sermon you bring didn't require time and energy studying and praying and yes, maybe even pushing a plate back, then it cost you nothing. Since when is it okay to offer to the most high God that which cost us nothing?
David knew that his worship would not be received if he didn't pay the price for it and the same is true of our worship. What if we came to an understanding that God would only accept our worship if it cost us something? Would we offer lazy, thrown together praises? Or would we only bring sacrificial worship?
If God has anointed you or poured out special talent and ability on you then you should work harder than anyone in the room out of gratitude to the Lord who placed ability in you. Talent is not an excuse for laziness. Anointing is not an excuse for being irresponsible. Guard that which God lent you and give it back to him ten fold.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Worn Out
In 1992 my dad published his first book, "Pulling Them From the Fire". Although I've had it for years, I only read it yesterday. The short book only took about an hour to read, but it is packed with accounts of souls won through personal evangelism in his early years of ministry. The last story told caused me to weep.
He talked about his dad, my grandpa, James McKinley. I've told my readers his story before, how he became a minister later in life, pastored churches with only a handful of people in the pews, lived in church basements, and worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time to keep the lights on in the church. My dad tells of how grandpa would drive up to 120 miles to preach to only 2 or 3 people, but preached like there were thousands.
In this last chapter, dad tells of the days in the hospital following grandpa's heart attack. Grandpa had a new roommate assigned to him. My dad talked with the man for several hours about his life, and around 1:00 am the talk turned spiritual. The man began weeping as my father led him to the Lord. The next morning the doctor came in to tell the roommate that there was nothing wrong with him. The doctor even said "I don't know what you're even doing in here."
The man replied, "You see that man over there in that bed? And do you see that young man standing there? It's because of men like him (pointing to grandpa) that I'm here today. The Man upstairs had an appointment scheduled for me to meet Mr. McKinley, and for his son to come all the way from Tennessee [to Indiana], so that I could be saved."
My grandfather was thrilled to hear this, but the doctor broke his joy when he told grandpa "sir, there's nothing we can do for you." As the family began to fall to pieces, the roommate turned to grandpa McKinley and said "sir, it's because of men like you wearing yourselves out that people like me can be saved today."
My grandpa died broke and younger than he should have, but he gave all he had for the calling upon him. Yes, he wore his body out so that others could be saved. In my eyes, he is a martyr for the Gospel. No, he didn't die at the hand of insurgents, but his body was sacrificed for the cause of Christ.
I love preaching, but sometimes I feel like it's going to kill me. When I started I told my husband that I was going to go wherever I was asked. I told him if that meant driving across the state to preach to 1 person and get nothing in return, I would. And trust me, there have been times that statement has become nearly prophetic. I end up tired in my mind and body and empty in my wallet and gas tank and though it is the greatest joy, I sometimes think of the costs.
But, then I think about my grandpa.
I think of the reward he is enjoying right now. I think of how he gets to be in the presence of the one he gave his life for. I think about how great it would be to sit down and tell him everywhere I've been. I think of how I would want him to be proud of me. I think about how proud he would be to know his son became an overseer in the church he loved. I think about his legacy of faithfulness. I think of how my last name is NOTHING to be ashamed of. And I think about this letter my grandma found in his briefcase after he died. It's nothing special to you, I'm sure. It looks like it was written on the back of a scrap piece of paper, but it's precious to me.
"Jesus has His hand on you. You will do great things for Him." Grandpa was the first one to say I was gonna be a preacher. He ends with "preaching from your daddy's knee, we will all see." If nothing else would keep me going, that line would. Although he died when I was very young, he's there with me every time I get in a pulpit, or at a table, or in a cabin at camp, or writing the truth on the internet he never knew of. He's part of my cloud of witnesses Hebrews 12 talks about.
Remember? "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (verses 1-3 NIV)
Lord, thank you for the cloud of witnesses around me. Help me to not fall pray to the things of this world that could stop me from my race. Let me look back to the legacy of faithfulness behind me and forward to the day when I join them in my reward. Let me never grow weary and let it be said that I wore myself out so that others could be saved.
He talked about his dad, my grandpa, James McKinley. I've told my readers his story before, how he became a minister later in life, pastored churches with only a handful of people in the pews, lived in church basements, and worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time to keep the lights on in the church. My dad tells of how grandpa would drive up to 120 miles to preach to only 2 or 3 people, but preached like there were thousands.
In this last chapter, dad tells of the days in the hospital following grandpa's heart attack. Grandpa had a new roommate assigned to him. My dad talked with the man for several hours about his life, and around 1:00 am the talk turned spiritual. The man began weeping as my father led him to the Lord. The next morning the doctor came in to tell the roommate that there was nothing wrong with him. The doctor even said "I don't know what you're even doing in here."
The man replied, "You see that man over there in that bed? And do you see that young man standing there? It's because of men like him (pointing to grandpa) that I'm here today. The Man upstairs had an appointment scheduled for me to meet Mr. McKinley, and for his son to come all the way from Tennessee [to Indiana], so that I could be saved."
My grandfather was thrilled to hear this, but the doctor broke his joy when he told grandpa "sir, there's nothing we can do for you." As the family began to fall to pieces, the roommate turned to grandpa McKinley and said "sir, it's because of men like you wearing yourselves out that people like me can be saved today."
My grandpa died broke and younger than he should have, but he gave all he had for the calling upon him. Yes, he wore his body out so that others could be saved. In my eyes, he is a martyr for the Gospel. No, he didn't die at the hand of insurgents, but his body was sacrificed for the cause of Christ.
I love preaching, but sometimes I feel like it's going to kill me. When I started I told my husband that I was going to go wherever I was asked. I told him if that meant driving across the state to preach to 1 person and get nothing in return, I would. And trust me, there have been times that statement has become nearly prophetic. I end up tired in my mind and body and empty in my wallet and gas tank and though it is the greatest joy, I sometimes think of the costs.
But, then I think about my grandpa.
I think of the reward he is enjoying right now. I think of how he gets to be in the presence of the one he gave his life for. I think about how great it would be to sit down and tell him everywhere I've been. I think of how I would want him to be proud of me. I think about how proud he would be to know his son became an overseer in the church he loved. I think about his legacy of faithfulness. I think of how my last name is NOTHING to be ashamed of. And I think about this letter my grandma found in his briefcase after he died. It's nothing special to you, I'm sure. It looks like it was written on the back of a scrap piece of paper, but it's precious to me.
"Jesus has His hand on you. You will do great things for Him." Grandpa was the first one to say I was gonna be a preacher. He ends with "preaching from your daddy's knee, we will all see." If nothing else would keep me going, that line would. Although he died when I was very young, he's there with me every time I get in a pulpit, or at a table, or in a cabin at camp, or writing the truth on the internet he never knew of. He's part of my cloud of witnesses Hebrews 12 talks about.
Remember? "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (verses 1-3 NIV)
Lord, thank you for the cloud of witnesses around me. Help me to not fall pray to the things of this world that could stop me from my race. Let me look back to the legacy of faithfulness behind me and forward to the day when I join them in my reward. Let me never grow weary and let it be said that I wore myself out so that others could be saved.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Why I Won't "Keep My Mouth Shut"
A little over a year ago my husband was attacked for something I had said on my Facebook page. I had written something regarding churches that justify premarital cohabitation. A friend became so enraged by my words that he went to my then fiancé and told him "you better tell Lindsey to keep her (bleep) mouth shut.
Here's a little background on this attack: He had up until then (and even afterward) claimed that he "loves me like a daughter." This person claims to be not only a Christian, but a minister as well. What are his reasons for wanting to shut me up? Maybe he doesn't like strong women. Maybe he doesn't like women preachers. Maybe he just really doesn't like the bible.
At the time I did what I thought was best. I blocked this person from seeing what I write. I can handle criticism, but I figured if he was going to be so angry with the truth that he took it out on my loved ones that it was best to remove that temptation.
We moved on.
He never said anything to me about what had happened and I never brought it up. We saw each other several times and were cordial to one another.
This situation came to my remembrance this week when it was brought to my attention that this same person had been spreading pretty malicious lies about me. I prayed about it and felt I needed to go to him as the bible instructs. I kindly asked what was going on and if the rumors were true that he had been talking about me. Long story short, the conversation disintegrated, and yet again he turned to my husband instead of dealing with me.
During the course of the conversation with my husband he repeated his sentiment from last year, that "Lindsey needs to learn to keep her mouth shut." When Andy explained that I share what God gives me and that it is all part of ministry, this person again said "no, even in ministry, she needs to learn to shut up."
Because of this cowardly and unbiblical approach of not speaking to me directly, I couldn't explain why keeping my mouth shut wasn't going to happen. I am not stupid. I know I'm brash. I know I'm straight forward. God created me this way on purpose for a purpose. He also created me smart enough to know this is not the only person to wonder why I won't just shut up, so let me share with you the reasons:
1. I was silent for too long. I spent years doing what most of us do, turning my head the other way. In that time I watched as people who were pacified in their sins lived and died never being told the truth, even when the perfect opportunity came to present it. I will not let it be said that I excused sin when confronted with the chance to make a difference.
2. I know my place. I spent the majority of my life into my twenties lost and confused on where I belonged in this world. That confusion ended in September of 2011 when I preached my first sermon. As I stood in that pulpit, I knew beyond a doubt that preaching is what I was created to do. There is a running joke amongst friends and family that I'm John the Baptist, but that's really who I relate to. I have to say the things no one else will because that's what God called me to do. Do I want to be the disgusting loner in the desert? Not really. But I'd rather be preparing the way looking like a maniac than be silent and deny what God called me to do.
3. God speaks for me. I used to type much faster. I used to text much faster. I used to talk much faster. My response time has definitely slowed because I've learned (and am still learning) the importance of my words being His words. If I write something, be it in a blog or elsewhere, you can be sure that I have 1. prayed about it 2. waited on the Lord to approve it 3. re-written it at least 10 times. I'm not perfect. I've flown off the handle before. I've let foolish debate entangle me. But I have done my best to improve in this area. I don't say things I can't back up and I don't engage in religious conversation that I can't back up with the bible. I may talk a lot, but if you knew all the stuff that's in my brain that gets filtered, you'd think that I not only have a big mouth, you'd think I have an even bigger brain!
4. Meriam Ibrahim. Don't know that name? Well, you should. She's an eight month pregnant Christian Sudanese woman who will be hanged for the crime of "apostasy". Prior to her hanging, she will receive 100 lashes for adultery, because her marriage to a Christian man is not recognized by sharia law. She is 27 years old. 1 year younger than me. I have to speak out, because she can't. I have to proclaim the truth because Meriam reminds me that this is a privilege denied in a major part of the world. I won't take this for granted.
5. You. As I review the stats of this blog, my heart burst with praise to God for where He has carried it. I have a book called Operation World that list statistics and prayer points for nations around the world. Every time the blog is accessed from a new country, I read up on what's going on there. The Lord has used this blog to bring His Word into many countries in which Christianity is either prohibited or severely restricted. I want you to know, particularly those viewing in restricted nations, that I pray for you often. I hope that something I say brings help and hope. I love you immensely.
So there you have it. I won't keep my mouth shut because I can't. I'm going to use this big mouth as much as I can for as long as I can. And, as the song says, "when they tell me it's my time to go/I will not go quietly".
Here's a little background on this attack: He had up until then (and even afterward) claimed that he "loves me like a daughter." This person claims to be not only a Christian, but a minister as well. What are his reasons for wanting to shut me up? Maybe he doesn't like strong women. Maybe he doesn't like women preachers. Maybe he just really doesn't like the bible.
At the time I did what I thought was best. I blocked this person from seeing what I write. I can handle criticism, but I figured if he was going to be so angry with the truth that he took it out on my loved ones that it was best to remove that temptation.
We moved on.
He never said anything to me about what had happened and I never brought it up. We saw each other several times and were cordial to one another.
This situation came to my remembrance this week when it was brought to my attention that this same person had been spreading pretty malicious lies about me. I prayed about it and felt I needed to go to him as the bible instructs. I kindly asked what was going on and if the rumors were true that he had been talking about me. Long story short, the conversation disintegrated, and yet again he turned to my husband instead of dealing with me.
During the course of the conversation with my husband he repeated his sentiment from last year, that "Lindsey needs to learn to keep her mouth shut." When Andy explained that I share what God gives me and that it is all part of ministry, this person again said "no, even in ministry, she needs to learn to shut up."
Because of this cowardly and unbiblical approach of not speaking to me directly, I couldn't explain why keeping my mouth shut wasn't going to happen. I am not stupid. I know I'm brash. I know I'm straight forward. God created me this way on purpose for a purpose. He also created me smart enough to know this is not the only person to wonder why I won't just shut up, so let me share with you the reasons:
1. I was silent for too long. I spent years doing what most of us do, turning my head the other way. In that time I watched as people who were pacified in their sins lived and died never being told the truth, even when the perfect opportunity came to present it. I will not let it be said that I excused sin when confronted with the chance to make a difference.
2. I know my place. I spent the majority of my life into my twenties lost and confused on where I belonged in this world. That confusion ended in September of 2011 when I preached my first sermon. As I stood in that pulpit, I knew beyond a doubt that preaching is what I was created to do. There is a running joke amongst friends and family that I'm John the Baptist, but that's really who I relate to. I have to say the things no one else will because that's what God called me to do. Do I want to be the disgusting loner in the desert? Not really. But I'd rather be preparing the way looking like a maniac than be silent and deny what God called me to do.
3. God speaks for me. I used to type much faster. I used to text much faster. I used to talk much faster. My response time has definitely slowed because I've learned (and am still learning) the importance of my words being His words. If I write something, be it in a blog or elsewhere, you can be sure that I have 1. prayed about it 2. waited on the Lord to approve it 3. re-written it at least 10 times. I'm not perfect. I've flown off the handle before. I've let foolish debate entangle me. But I have done my best to improve in this area. I don't say things I can't back up and I don't engage in religious conversation that I can't back up with the bible. I may talk a lot, but if you knew all the stuff that's in my brain that gets filtered, you'd think that I not only have a big mouth, you'd think I have an even bigger brain!
4. Meriam Ibrahim. Don't know that name? Well, you should. She's an eight month pregnant Christian Sudanese woman who will be hanged for the crime of "apostasy". Prior to her hanging, she will receive 100 lashes for adultery, because her marriage to a Christian man is not recognized by sharia law. She is 27 years old. 1 year younger than me. I have to speak out, because she can't. I have to proclaim the truth because Meriam reminds me that this is a privilege denied in a major part of the world. I won't take this for granted.
5. You. As I review the stats of this blog, my heart burst with praise to God for where He has carried it. I have a book called Operation World that list statistics and prayer points for nations around the world. Every time the blog is accessed from a new country, I read up on what's going on there. The Lord has used this blog to bring His Word into many countries in which Christianity is either prohibited or severely restricted. I want you to know, particularly those viewing in restricted nations, that I pray for you often. I hope that something I say brings help and hope. I love you immensely.
So there you have it. I won't keep my mouth shut because I can't. I'm going to use this big mouth as much as I can for as long as I can. And, as the song says, "when they tell me it's my time to go/I will not go quietly".
Monday, May 12, 2014
The Mind of the Sinner
My father preaches my favorite sermon. It is the story of the Prodigal Son (with his own slant, of course). He's always quick to point out Luke 15:17. This verse comes right after we hear that the Prodigal was so hungry that he wanted to eat the slop he was feeding the pigs. In that moment of clarity, newer versions of the bible say he "came to his senses." I, however, like the wording of the King James Version which says, "and when he came to himself he said, 'How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.'" (verses 17-19)
My father was always quick to label this "the greatest compliment ever paid to a sinner", because it says that we aren't ourselves when we are away from God. Plainly stated: you aren't in your right mind while in sin. Just think about the son. The words he said to himself did not suddenly become true, they were always the case, he just didn't realize it until he reached rock bottom-desiring to eat the food of an animal that his people called unclean. His father always had enough, but his sin-tattered mind couldn't comprehend it.
If we as leaders could really grip those three words, "came to himself", it would revolutionize how we reach out.
How?
When I hear discussions about how to address sinners, we generally come down on one of two sides: the "full of grace" Christian response or the "full of law" Christian response. Here's the problem: we are thinking like Christians. If we want to help sinners, we have to think like sinners. That's why I see major blunders on both sides of the coin. Whether you favor law or grace doesn't matter, because what is a rational response to you won't be interpreted the same to the irrational mind of the sinner away from God.
The "grace camp" thinks the best response is to show unwavering support for those in sin. To the "gracers" they are "loving the sinner and hating the sin", but to the unwashed mind, there is no distinction in their support. Yes, they see how you love them, but they also think that you have no problem with what they are doing. I see it over and over via social media posts.
The "law camp" thinks the best answer is to draw a line with the Word and tell the sinner to pick a side, they are either "with us" or "against us". The "lawites" think they have held up their mandate to present the truth and are only doing what God requires. But to the sinner, they are being judged and mistreated by the church. Many of whom will leave never to return.
So what's the solution? We must realize that because the sinner doesn't think like us, we can't rely on our reasoning skills, we must rely on the leading of the Holy Spirit. Only He can truly draw sinners, because He is the only one who can make a sinner "come to himself." Our God is fully grace AND fully truth, so we must rely on the Holy Spirit to strike the balance and not our feeble minded attempts.
My father was always quick to label this "the greatest compliment ever paid to a sinner", because it says that we aren't ourselves when we are away from God. Plainly stated: you aren't in your right mind while in sin. Just think about the son. The words he said to himself did not suddenly become true, they were always the case, he just didn't realize it until he reached rock bottom-desiring to eat the food of an animal that his people called unclean. His father always had enough, but his sin-tattered mind couldn't comprehend it.
If we as leaders could really grip those three words, "came to himself", it would revolutionize how we reach out.
How?
When I hear discussions about how to address sinners, we generally come down on one of two sides: the "full of grace" Christian response or the "full of law" Christian response. Here's the problem: we are thinking like Christians. If we want to help sinners, we have to think like sinners. That's why I see major blunders on both sides of the coin. Whether you favor law or grace doesn't matter, because what is a rational response to you won't be interpreted the same to the irrational mind of the sinner away from God.
The "grace camp" thinks the best response is to show unwavering support for those in sin. To the "gracers" they are "loving the sinner and hating the sin", but to the unwashed mind, there is no distinction in their support. Yes, they see how you love them, but they also think that you have no problem with what they are doing. I see it over and over via social media posts.
The "law camp" thinks the best answer is to draw a line with the Word and tell the sinner to pick a side, they are either "with us" or "against us". The "lawites" think they have held up their mandate to present the truth and are only doing what God requires. But to the sinner, they are being judged and mistreated by the church. Many of whom will leave never to return.
So what's the solution? We must realize that because the sinner doesn't think like us, we can't rely on our reasoning skills, we must rely on the leading of the Holy Spirit. Only He can truly draw sinners, because He is the only one who can make a sinner "come to himself." Our God is fully grace AND fully truth, so we must rely on the Holy Spirit to strike the balance and not our feeble minded attempts.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Lord of the Rings
The above photo tells the story of my love life in four rings. I'm sure most people look at these and see nothing special, but each and every one tells me where I came from and what God has shown me now that I'm on this side of the story.
This is the story of the love life of Lindsey McKinley Schreiber:
Ring #1: True Love Waits
I was given this ring on my 17th birthday by my parents. At the time, it was all the rage to wear one of these. Inside the small velvet ring box came a card containing a pledge that was to be signed promising the wearer would remain a virgin until marriage. I had every intention of keeping that pledge. It wasn't just a piece of jewelry, I truly thought it would be a reminder of who I am, where I came from, and where God would take me. Then life happened. At some point that pledge became less important than companionship. My oath took a back seat to my desire to be loved, and I made choices that left me feeling alone, empty, used up, and worthless. Hear me correctly, I was not those things, but I felt like I was.
Now that I look back at this ring, I see a broken promise. But I also see an important lesson: what's on the outside doesn't matter if your heart isn't right. I kept wearing my TLW ring long after I had broken my promise just to keep up appearances. This ring now reminds me of Jesus's warning to the pharisees in Matthew 23 when He tells them, "You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness." That was me. I wore the ring to appear righteous, but on the inside I was living an unclean life.
I felt so hopeless after I messed up. I thought no one would ever want me. No good guy would want to marry now. I was damaged goods, I may as well keep sinning like I was already doing because I didn't deserve better.
But then I met Andy. He was kind, loving, understanding, and to my shock-a virgin. I told him quite early in our relationship of my past sins. I expected him to leave, but he didn't. Instead he affirmed to me that I wasn't that girl anymore. He really believed that when I asked God to forgive me and turned from that life that I became a virgin again. I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever heard...yet it was exactly what I needed to hear. Our first Christmas together, we gave each other another special ring...
Ring #2: I Am My Beloved's
This ring has an etching in Hebrew of Song of Solomon 6:3, "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." This ring was a new beginning. This was a reminder to each of us that we belong to whomever God had for us. It also acknowledged that we may not be the end game for one another. We both accepted that we may not end up getting married and that we may have a different spouse intended for us. So out of respect for one another and for whomever we would each marry, we would keep our relationship pure. This was a fresh start.
I already knew from the TLW's debacle that this would be nothing but a piece of jewelry if we didn't really turn our hearts towards God's word and desires for us. This time it was different. I went into this new relationship as a new creature. This time it wasn't about showing how righteous I was, it was about showing how good God was to give me another chance. By the next Christmas I would receive another ring...
Ring #3: Engagement Ring
Andy and I had discussed marriage for a while, but in my heart I found it so hard to believe that this wonderful creature would want me for life. In past relationships I had my self-esteem ripped to shreds as boyfriends led me to believe we were headed toward the altar only to change their story by the next day. The idea that a man actually loved me enough to save and plan and even scheme with my friends to give me an amazing proposal blew my mind.
This ring was a promise that he would care for me for eternity. He wasn't going to walk away when things got tough. He was going to do whatever it took to see me happy. With this ring, God used Andy to show me that not all men are the same. Not all guys drag you through the mud. Not all guys call you ugly or fat to make themselves feel better. Not all guys lie or cheat or allow people to tear you down.
And that gorgeous ring led to one more...
Ring #4: Wedding Ring
This final ring brought with it the knowledge that where I started didn't have to dictate where I ended. The sins committed with Ring #1 on my finger didn't decide where my story would end. If you would have told me when I was 17, signing that pledge that I wouldn't marry my first "love" (I was really messed up on what that word meant), that I would mess up really badly, that I would wait for years on a ring that wasn't coming, and that I would end up becoming a cougar and marry a younger, gorgeous, Asian man, have a baby the next year and use my story to help other girls, I would've laughed at you. But that's what happened.
Throughout the story told through my rings, I see God's sovereignty. He knew at every step what would happen next. He didn't make me make poor decisions, but He knew what I would choose. Even when that wedding ring was slipped on my finger, He knew what NO ONE knew, that a teething ring would be the next on the list.
Throughout it all, He has been the Lord of my story, the Lord of the rings.
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