Forever Alone:The Death of Singleness

As I anticipate my wedding this weekend, I have done much reflecting on my 27 years of singleness. As excited as I am to get to marry my best friend on Saturday, there is a sense of finality of my former life that I wasn't quite prepared for. I was thinking about my "single life" and found there were a lot of things I wish I had realized at the time, because it would have made the journey much more enjoyable. I hope my single friends will review this list and do their best to enjoy this time God has given them.

1. Singleness is a gift from God, don't wish it away. Paul says in I Corinthians 7:7, "...God gives some the gift of marriage, and to others He gives the gift of singleness." Both marriage AND singleness are gifts from God, you are not more or less special depending on which He chose to give you in this season. Why would He want you to be single? When you're single, you are free (for the most part) to get up and do what God has for you. Once you are married (and especially when you have kids), that is severely limited. I look back and see so many chances I squandered in my singleness for one reason or another that I regret. As world-renowned missionary Jim Elliot said it, "Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." If God has given you this gift of singleness, enjoy it and live that life to your fullest for Him.

2. He makes all things beautiful in HIS time. I spent way too much time freaking out about when I would have a relationship or get married or start a family. The problem is that God's timing isn't the same as ours. Ecclesiastes 3 is a familiar passage that tells us that there is a time for everything in life. If you keep reading, you will find one of my favorite verses in all of scripture. Verse 11 says, "He hath made every thing beautiful in HIS time: also HE hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end." Verse 12 goes on to say, "I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life." God purposefully designed us in a way that we cannot know what He is up to! So instead of crying "why can't I just know what my future will be?!", do what verse 12 says and live life and DO GOOD. This is the reason I hate DESPISE the "forever alone" memes, like the one above. You are not "forever alone", in fact the bible says you are "never alone". You will be single until God says differently. So please stop posting these, it's inaccurate and honestly makes you just seem sad. (rant over)

3. Don't listen to the haters who say you need to lower your standards. At some point in the single girl's life, outside comments go from "how could a pretty girl like you be single" (which is very annoying, please stop saying it) to "you're just too picky." Now, I'm not talking about these girls who demand their mate be a certain height and weight and have a certain eye color or job, those are superficial and not worth my time discussing. I'm talking about non-negotiables. I'm talking about finding a Christ-following, respectful, kind person who would lay down his life for you. These standards weren't set by me, they were set by the Word of God in 2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5:25, respectively. To say that you need to settle for less than these is to say that God didn't have your best interest at heart when He inspired the scripture.

God has a purpose for you, right now, married or single, parent or childless. Your worth is not wrapped up in your relationship status, so keep your head up.